Got the best cake for my 30th birthday. Only if my wife understood what language I program with. I still love her though!

When you take User Experience to the next level. Just what I was thinking

Credits : Riot App

"Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable." - Ralph Johnson

Was working in small startup with great people on new projects, but for very low salary and shitty conditions.

Changed job to big company with nice salary and great conditions, but people are assholes and have to work on legacy stuff mostly.

Guess you can't have everything.

when your code is a mess but everything work out in the end

I hate the Android update policy as hell. Why do they have to publish a new version each year? Why not a LTS version which is supported for 5 years? Barely no manufacturer is able to change their own interface aiming to adept it to the new Android version. Windows isn't publishing a new os every year. They just update it regularly to implement new functions. Ubuntu is doing the same.
WHY THE FUCK NOT ANDROID?
My HTC A9 was the first with Android 6. I didn't get Android 7 until now?! I paid a lot of money for this peace of shit! And I was granted an update for Android 7. So where is it HTC? Where?!?!?!?!?!?!

Most of semi active Github projects be like...

Most useful website ever !

<!-- You shouldn't be able to read this -->

It's just Android Studio

Is it true? 😂 never noticed

udp jokes.keep em coming

Report to who?

I just started working on a little project to browse devrant from terminal. It converts images to ascii art!

Fucking Methods starting with "Get" and return is void.

void GetTheFuckOut()

Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.

Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>

I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.

Seriously, why? WHHHYYYY?

US-date-format sucks, every FUCKING TIME!

The only time I really notice is when the "month" is larger than 12:

05/13/2017
"5th of Dec... oh. Fuck. Not this shit again..."

(It makes no sense. Absolutely none.)

Time for some serious debugging

"A software Engineer? Why don't you do a real job instead of fixing people's computers?"

- ex gf 2011

"I'm proud you do something you love"

- wife 2016

She runs C shells by the seashore.

When you fuck up your repo so bad it transforms into guitar hero

hahaha 😁

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

Who wants one?

When someone really really doesn't like "magic numbers" in their code.

Monday morning cup of coffee with my new mug. Definitely my favorite thing on my desk at the moment.

I was just thinking... The JetBrains devs must enter the office and be like:
"Today I'm gonna program a programming program for others to program, and I'll do it on the programming program I programmed last year."

Programmer: A pointer walks into a bar.

Non-programmer: I don't get the reference.

hello world!

Pretty much.