Overheard between two POs at a white board:

PO1: Should we get the developers to size before we give an estimate to the customer?
PO2: Naw I think I can just guess.

When a pm releases an email to hundreds of customers telling them how to get a free month on their account through a process that doesn't exist.

*puts on cowboy hat.
*cracks knuckles
*prays to every god.

18 weeks of requirement changes just to cancel the project. Smh

Two tasks at the top of the backlog that was approved by the scrum master, and pm. We finish them in a few hours. Pm comes out.

Pm: Why are you guys working on those tickets!?!?!
Us: because they are the first things in the list.
Pm: but the client hasn't agreed on the work yet.
Us: then why is it the top of our list!!!
Pm: cause it's important.

After 2 months of changes the pm finally landed on the solution that the Dev team proposed at the start of the project.

We don't need a designer. Our PMs can do it. *fires up lucidchart*

I love when a PM makes a big deal to get their own office but then takes personal calls with the door open. On speaker phone. To his wife with 3 screaming kids in the background. While everyone is trying to work. Fml. Just let me code in peace.

Product manager had me spend an hour setting up his machine for rails development. Then walk him through all of our workflow. He then proceeded to make some changes to a header tag content. Made a pull request while I was holding his hand. Then he walks out of his office acting like he just won a national championship and proceeded to talk about how he was basically a developer for the next hour interrupting work.