The New Bug Fixing Architecture.

My team's program for the Coding Contest.
Seriously.
Need I say anything other than

List<KeyValuePair<int, KeyValuePair<int, ...>>>

and

var v = list.Key.Key.Key.Value
var w = list.Key.Key.Value

?

But eh, it worked for the contest, that code is never to be seen again haha

chrome://net-internals

When network tab isn't enough.

Things that give me chills early in the morning. A password reset email that contains my password in plain text.
Seriously! 🤦‍♂️

Going to refactor my whole android app from java to kotlin

Wish me luck!

I really like my little group for this one huge exam project we have. Everyone's nice, ambitious, takes the project seriously, responsible and communicates well. Additional bonus is we're all on the same skill level so everyone's learning and nobody is dragging a huge load alone. We've had no issues so far and despite being fairly early in the project we're making good progress all around. Is this what a stress-free experience feels like? Pretty happy with the project in general and I think our app idea is pretty cool too.

We have a group slack chat for my class which was intended to be a space for asking questions about assignments and getting help from your peers. Instead it has become a dick measuring contest in there where guys who know very little can act all high and mighty about their (plain wrong, in some instances) facts they're distributing without care. It pisses me off so much seeing how toxic it has become in there. It's the same 5 guys using it to bully each other and God forbid anyone else asks a question, they'll be mocked for not being confident handing in a solution they aren't sure is right. Why can't people treat each other with respect? We're in school to LEARN. Not impress other students with how much (read: little) we know. GJ, guys. You created a smaller version of stack overflow.

Me after a long night without working code

Hello Friends!
It's my first rant to this community.
Thought I should post something!

"You want to create a stunning website?
I've already done it.... with Wix"

😑

SKIP

Never stop learning ....

There are 2 types of developers. The hot drink ones ☕️ and the cold drink ones(CocaCola, Redbull...). Which one are you?

Headphones on, in the zone, deep into some heavyweight logic, blissfully unaware of the office surroundings.

Get tapped on shoulder. "hey, I've finished that easy task a deformed amoeba could have done. Want to see?"

NO!

When all else fails think out of box

Notification: someone you know is on Instagram
Me: ohhh? Are they? Fucking good for them then ain't it. Least they're not on fucking heroin...

Legacy code :)

I’m almost sure it’s a phishing email...

TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.

>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass

My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃

Truth. Gentlemen.

I mean... It's entirely possible that goingToCrashIntoEachOther is a variable that is set by some code constantly testing for upcoming collisions and dont() is a class for course correction.

This is kind of personal, but I need to share it somewhere, and I feel like this is the only place I can speak without anyone judging me.

Today my doctor told me (after several examinations by several specialised doctors) that I have colon irritabile, that probably roots in some mental issues.

First I gotta fucking schedule every damn thing I eat and make sure I eat 8 meals a day instead of the usual 3, but then eat lesser portions.
I eat pretty healthy anyway, so the food itself is not the issue.
The biggest issue is, that I have to tell my boss, my best friends and so on, so they know why I visit the toilet my often than other people.

I'm so fucking tired of myself and my body. It's just one huge roller coaster, and I fucking hate it :(

Was searching for a pixel art Tux and couldn't find any.

Tried to make one.

Someone call an arborist because these branches are fucked.

😂😂😂

Every day.

I can only imagine what goes through clients’ tiny brains. Do they really think: “oh I know what will get shit done, insult the developer, his work, and demand things be fixed while saying the whole system is broken even though they have multiple times in the past demonstrated that it was either me using it wrong or an extremely quick and simple fix. I also have a problem with a few listed items in particular not the whole system, but I’m gonna insult everything.”

Fucking rude fucks!

I've come to a conclusion today: Management are fucking with me. I know it sounds far fetched, but its the only thing that makes sense.

I was in a meeting today, discussing some bad emails back and forth. Part of my issue was the amount of time spent on useless meetings, or waiting around to give demos.

The meeting got cut short, so I could prepare a demo for a VP ... after an hour and a fucking half of waiting around ... theres no time to see my demo.

What the actual fuck, seriously .... seriously what the actual fuck. What if the name of mother fucking christ is going on with this team, that they call me into a mother fucking meeting to discuss the "developers attitude" only to go and cut it short ... so they can fucking waste my time ... for the second time in 3 mother fucking days.

Oh i'd rather fuck myself with a cactus than spend the rest of my days dealing with this utter bullshittery.

So my company had a client who was a doctor. He wanted to build an iOS app and will come everyday in the office to scope the project. The company's boss was a greedy guy who always tried to keep his hands in client's pocket. And on some occasions he even went on to scold my colleagues working on the client's project in front of the client. The client was too volatile to freeze the scope which was resulting in us not getting anywhere. One day the boss came onto me in front of the client and showed like he is doing me a favor by giving me salary. The salary day was after 2 days. But I raged out. Next day I departed from home for office but felt so raged that I mailed my resignation to the boss. I wandered in the city aimlessly the whole day, and the boss gave me 5 calls to make up for it and come back. Then he went on to go legal, and I told him to do whatever he could. In the end it was all bluff.
I worked freelance for next few months, those were the best. Got paid quite nice and learned Angular 5 with Node.js. Best decision in my career..

Today I saw one of the most detailed commit messages:

[+] further implementations

Don´t know if I sould laught or cry. ^^

When you ask your British friend what that black, unmoving thing is...