Details
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SkillsC, C#, PowerShell
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Location::1
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Github
Joined devRant on 9/27/2017
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Shoutout to YouTube for auto-translating "You suck at cooking ep 23" to "Sie saugen beim kochen episode 23".
Dankeschön16 -
I get anxiety when I have no work for days,
I am like the fuck is wrong with you body. You’re suppose to be chill, not a monster that wants to work all the time.5 -
To be a good developer, you must thrive in chaos, and have an insatiable desire to turn it into order.
All user input, both work tasks and actual application input, is pure fucking chaos.
The only way to turn that input into anything usable, is to interpret, structure and categorize it, to describe the rules for transformation as adequately as you can.
Sometimes companies create semi-helpful roles to assist you with this process. Often, these people are so unaware of the delicacy of the existing chaos, that any decision they make just ripples out in waves leaving nearly irreparable confusion and destruction in its path.
So applications themselves also slowly wear down into chaos under pressure of chaotic steak-holders which never seem to be able to choose between peppercorn or bernaise sauce for their steaks.
Features are added, data is migrated between formats, rules become unclear. Is ketchup even fucking valid, as a steak sauce?
The only way to preserve an application long term, is refactoring chaos into order.
But... the ocean of chaos will never end.
You must learn to swim in it.
All you can hope to do is create little pools of clarity where new creative ideas can freely spawn.
Ideas which will no doubt end up polluting their own environment, but that's a problem for tomorrow.
So you must learn to deal with the infinite stream of perplexed reactions from those who can't attach screenshots to issue reports.
You must deflect dragging conversations from those who never quite manage to translate gut feeling into rational sentences.
You must learn to deal with the fact that in reality there are no true microservice backends. There are no clean React frontends. There are no normalized databases. Full test coverage, well-executed retrospectives, finished sprints -- they are all as real as spherical cows in a vacuum.
There is no such thing as clean code.
There is only "relatively cleaner code", and even then there are arguments as to why it would be "subjectively relatively cleaner code".
Every repository, every product, every team and every company is an amalgamation of half-implemented ideals, well-intended tug of war games, and brilliantly shattered dreams.
You will encounter fragmented shards of perfect APIs, miles of tangled barbed documentation, beheaded validator classes, bloody mangled corpses of analytical dashboards, crumbled concrete databases.
You must be able to breathe in those thick toxic clouds of rotting technical and procedural debt, look at your reflection in the locker room mirror while you struggle yourself into a hazmat suit, and think:
"Fuck yes, I was born for this job".24 -
Nothing is worse than doing all the hard work and thoughts, while people just think you’re over exaggerating the problem...3
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So, did they choose Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) as a name because Shit Rolls Down Hill was too offensive?6
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So, at my company we are migrating from "master" branch on github.
It's good to know we are defeating racism.51 -
Things I'm half decent at: Writing code
Things I am absolutely the worst at: Managing projects
Things I got employed for: Writing code
Things I do: Managing projects18 -
Interviewer: what’s a fun fact about you
Me: I’m a poorly mixed bag of ambition and depression so depending on the day I can do everything or nothing at all4 -
*Corona Virus Lock-down*
-University Prof: "Now You have lots of time to do your projects. from now, you will have 1 project each week"
-Boss: "You are at home all day! can you increase your working hours?"
-Me: "Fuck Corona"5 -
Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.
Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.14 -
Why are there so many "curated list of X" on Github? I really liked browsing the trending page because I found several gems of OSS in it. But nowadays it seems chinese course materials, "curated lists" and so-called "H4Xx0r-Res0urces" share the space on the trending page. Has Facebook arrived on Github?2
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Nobody with more then 10 brain cells would look at this and go, "yeah, that looks like good design!"13
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*Nervous student comes in for the first interview I am conducting as a developer*
Me (as an interviewer): What is best approach to search data?
Student: It will take linear time but if data is sorted, we can do it in logarithmic time.
Me: [Smiles] Take a hint Hash Map?
Student: Yes, with it, we can do it in constant time.
Me: Okay, Bloom Filter anytime?
Student: *sweating* noooo...
Me: Okay. I am a developer so I know this.
Student: *about to cry*
Me: No problem but why will you search data when there is no problem? Don't you have better work.
Student: *confused* yup
Me: *laughs but immediately controls* Take it lightly. You know what you need to do this job. You are HIRED. :)2 -
How I HATE being treated as a 24/7 IT helpdesk just because I studied Computer Scieeeeeence. People come to you with a billion questions every day!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.10 -
I thought most developers were aware of the dangers of interpolating variables into strings in the context of SQL queries, but apparently some people are oblivious.
`SELECT * FROM USERS WHERE USERNAME = ${username}`
My username is ' ' OR 1=1;6