Details
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SkillsJava, Salesforce, Ruby
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LocationMemphis
Joined devRant on 2/18/2017
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I was writing tests at work and rather enjoying myself.
Boss insisted we all go home early because "holiday halfsies," so I semi-unhappily pack up and go home. At home, I write tests for a personal project instead.
Dev life.8 -
900k+ deal with a huge customer.
All we need is a spreadsheet printed out
Two senior people could not figure this out for a solid hour
"hey you work with computers"
So I'm here printing spreadsheets...6 -
Not a rant, but a story.
Last 3 months I mentored our new development trainee. Last night, he presented his thesis in front of other students, profs, and a jury. He received the highest score of all the projects we evaluated, and was even nominated for an award.
I feel like a proud dad. 😅3 -
*In a team meeting*
Me: *happily jotting down notes in markdown*
Other guy: "Dude what are you doing? Pay attention."
Me: "Umm... I'm taking notes?"
Other guy: "But why does your MS Word have black background?"
Me (a bit lost): "Umm... That's not Word. That's my text editor."
Other guy: "Alright... But how do you convert your notes into Word then?"
Me: "... I don't."
Other guy: *stares at me*
Me: * stare back*
It was a nice conversation.12 -
Company wide ban on headphones at desks, because how can people be working if they're listening to music? Never felt so miserable in my life.
Fuck fuckitty fuck, with a side order of bollocks. May the senior management of this tight arsed tin pot cowboy outfit of a company all sleep soundly at their desks until Doomsday while the rest of us keep them in business. See, I'm not bitter...27 -
lol what? My company offers $5k for referring full time employees... and $10k for referring female technologists.
As a female software engineer, makes me deeply uncomfortable.14 -
Recently I've installed Tinder. Had my first match yesterday.
Me: "I see you're a product manager in a software company. Do you get along well with programmers? :)"
No reply. Unmatches. 😶18 -
Testivus On Test Coverage
Early one morning, a programmer asked the great master:
“I am ready to write some unit tests. What code coverage should I aim for?”
The great master replied:
“Don’t worry about coverage, just write some good tests.”
The programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
Later that day, a second programmer asked the same question.
The great master pointed at a pot of boiling water and said:
“How many grains of rice should I put in that pot?”
The programmer, looking puzzled, replied:
“How can I possibly tell you? It depends on how many people you need to feed, how hungry they are, what other food you are serving, how much rice you have available, and so on.”
“Exactly,” said the great master.
The second programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
Toward the end of the day, a third programmer came and asked the same question about code coverage.
“Eighty percent and no less!” Replied the master in a stern voice, pounding his fist on the table.
The third programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
After this last reply, a young apprentice approached the great master:
“Great master, today I overheard you answer the same question about code coverage with three different answers. Why?”
The great master stood up from his chair:
“Come get some fresh tea with me and let’s talk about it.”
After they filled their cups with smoking hot green tea, the great master began to answer:
“The first programmer is new and just getting started with testing. Right now he has a lot of code and no tests. He has a long way to go; focusing on code coverage at this time would be depressing and quite useless. He’s better off just getting used to writing and running some tests. He can worry about coverage later.”
“The second programmer, on the other hand, is quite experience both at programming and testing. When I replied by asking her how many grains of rice I should put in a pot, I helped her realize that the amount of testing necessary depends on a number of factors, and she knows those factors better than I do – it’s her code after all. There is no single, simple, answer, and she’s smart enough to handle the truth and work with that.”
“I see,” said the young apprentice, “but if there is no single simple answer, then why did you answer the third programmer ‘Eighty percent and no less’?”
The great master laughed so hard and loud that his belly, evidence that he drank more than just green tea, flopped up and down.
“The third programmer wants only simple answers – even when there are no simple answers … and then does not follow them anyway.”
The young apprentice and the grizzled great master finished drinking their tea in contemplative silence.
Found on stack overflow https://stackoverflow.com/questions...8 -
After countless hours trying to spell my name for customer service over the phone, I made a little webpage that helps me spell words phonetically! 💬
https://dialogue.now.sh35 -
Sister: "Can you fix my computer?"
Me: "What's wrong?"
S: *explains the issue
Me: *types that into Google and shows her the search results
S: *gives me the look
M: "This is seriously what I do to fix a lot of my problems 🧚"18 -
Today I learned:
`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”
`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”
Had no idea.30 -
Found this 2 years old beauty today:
public boolean hasPermission(User user, Permission permission){
// TODO
return true;
}
The author quit last year.7 -
I wrote my resignation letter yesterday, all’s good.
Today, bossman walks in:
“I’ve got some great news, all our developers are getting a raise”
Me: *well shit*15 -
I am constantly typing "ls" on CMD to a point it has become quite annoying. I'm so used to my Ubuntu.6
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Interviewer : "Do you know SQL ?"
Me : "Yes sir. I know SQL and I prefer NoSQL."
Interviewer : "So you know SQL and you don't want to do it for our company ?? This is arrogant !! "9