rofl 🤣

40% of AI start ups don't use AI.

I find this funny, idk

Lol....

Aaaaaaa 😂😂😂 quit vim

lol.

i started using reddit i few days ago

!r/ProgrammerHumor

To all android developers out there

Any indonesian here ? i've seen other have meet up with other devranters, maybe we can arrange one ?

Nike's robots.txt says "just crawl it"

The reason why I changed my username ( I'll just be honest here )

I was working on a website. I noticed that entries were submitting yesterday but today new entries were not showing up on database. It was like my database refused to insert new rows but there was no new error in log. I kept trying for almost half an hour, read all the answers on stackoverflow, read docs, tried different methods. Nothing worked. I was fucked up. Completely fucked up.

In frustration, I just stared my database for 10 mins without a single blink, and then I noticed this thing 'showing 25 out of 78 rows'
(-_-)
I clicked on 'show all'

AAAAAAND

I felt retarded.

Okay I can give an excuse that last time I saw a database was a year ago, but still.. how retarded you need to be to not see this FUCKIN 'SHOW ALL' when it is on the TOP of the FUCKIN TABLE!!

Congratulations.

Keep backups in a safe place ;)

*calls grandpa I don't usually talk to that much to congratulate him for his birthday*

*grandpa picks up*

*congratulates*

Him: so, I know that you study CS and I was working on something [Word document at the moment] and my letters keep getting different sizes! Sometimes they're small, sometimes they're big, sometimes they're in between! I have to erase everything everytime because they just get messed up every time!

Me *sighing, but confused because upper-case and lower-case are the same with "big letters" and "small letters", respectively, in my native language: have you checked Caps Lock on your keyboard?

Him: What is that? I have Esc, 1, 2, 3,... (proceeds to read me the keys on the keyboard)

*explains where caps lock is*

Him *gets angry*: no, you don't understand, sometimes they're small, sometimes they're big and sometimes in between! Caps Lock doesn't solve it! *proceeds to read the keys from the keyboard again*

*thinking that maybe it's the font then, asks about the Word version, to know what to point him to*

Him: WHAT? Word? No! I'm using my keyboard! What don't you understand! I explain to you and you have no idea!

Me: well, I'd need then maybe to see the screen

Him: I'm so angry with you, you say you study so much but are not even able to help me with such a small problem. I'll just find someone else. Thanks for your wishes *hangs up*

And this is how I only tried to congratulate my grandfather for his birthday but turned into a "failing" tech support. I just wanted to be a good granddaughter

TCP vs UDP

I usually don't post such things, but the Flat Earth Society just replied to @iamdevloper on Twitter!
What a legend haha

Was looking for some documentation, Unity needs to chill out.

made my day

Imagine yourself exploring Medium, looking for some new awesome tools to try out.

You accidentally find the new, promising programming language. It called Blow. It promises itself to be “idiomatic”, “minimalistic”, “simple” and “handsome”. And it also compiles to Electron. You decide to give it a try.

It has its own package manager, simple and idiomatic – every package is “blow add” away. But it’s only three packages available: the “blowsay”, just like “cowsay”, the “this”, printing The Blow Manifesto and “blue”, which is simplistic, simple and minimalistic idiomatic handsome functional frontend framework built with simplicity in mind.

You want to build a todo app, so you type “blow add blue” and press enter.

Following Medium articles written by some guy wearing Ray-Bans, you managed to finally put a todo app together, after seven hours of straight up coding and fighting that simple and idiomatic syntax, trying to make it do what you need. Alright, it’s time to build it.

It has built-in task runner named “job”.

So you type “blow job todo”.

You spending three hours more doing “blow job this”, “blow job that”, trying to blow job everything you see. You’re tired and mad at those damn blow job hipsters created that. You literally suck at programming in that.

Everything falls apart. Things doesn’t work. And after another “ENOENT 0() 0x628 NOT_SUPPORTED”, you give up, admitting that you’ve really sucked at this.

My friend sent this to me this morning lmao.

Tell me if it's a repost.

Stuck in the car driving mum today...

She’s concerned about my little brother’s education and asks me “Is it okay to study I.T at University?”

I just turn and look at her like you’ve got to be kidding me. “Mum I’m studying I.T”

The conversation continues with:
What jobs are there in I.T?
What are you going to do with I.T?
You should become a teacher and I’ll open a tutoring centre for you!

*sigh*

After months and months of unrealistic deadlines, pulling late night shifts coupled with an insane commute and two very small children at home I had a total burnout. Turned up to work one morning, and stared at the Java code I had been writing for the past couple of days and it might as well have been written in Martian. The more I stared, and the more I tried to keep things together internally the less I was able to make sense of anything - just a random jumble of characters on screen that were as intelligible as the green scrolling lines from The Matrix.

My office manager saw that I was obviously in some distress and took me into a meeting room to have a quick chat - and there I was, a grown man of 35 bawling my eyes out like a two year old. Not the most edifying moment of my life.

However, the company couldn't have been more supportive afterwards; one of my colleagues drove the 100 miles to get me home in my car and took a train back up to the office; my GP signed me off work for six months and treated me for severe depression; the office instituted stricter working policies - not on the developers, but the sales/PM teams that were handing down ridiculous timescales simply so they could get a sale.

For my part, I've learnt to push back and say "NO!" - work is not your life, it's an important part of your life, but my no means everything. Don't feel beholden to a company to meet unrealistic targets that you haven't agreed to. Talk.

It saved me from suicide.

You have to understand first that things in India work differently. Academics are not personal, but a social business. Academic competition in India is very high and not in a good way, or for the good reasons.

As a teenager was sent off from my home to the other side of the country. I didn't like it. My studies suffered, and I failed my exams. Came back home and faced months of emotional abuse (guilt trips, scornful comments, plain insults) from my parents, neighbours and relatives. Indian society is just built that way. They didn't know they were damaging my psyche, or they were too angry to care. Lots of other shit (lost friends, lost love) happened at roughly the same time period and everything started to fall like dominos.

I fell into severe depression. Lost appetite, lost sleep. Nothing mattered anymore. There were mornings when I would wake up and not get up from my bed for hours, and not even move a finger. Self-hate became the motto of the day. I became violent and anti-social. I would either be angry or trying not to break down and give up all the time. Many a night, I considered suicide. I would end up googling for easy ways out to take.

But what gave me a way out of the pains of my reality was programming. It helped my keep my head, figuratively and literally. It kept my mind distracted and gave me a sense of purpose. I would shut myself in, plug in my headphones, shut the world out and just experiment.

I am not saying that I am the best at what I do, but those sleepless and troubled nights, and many other similar nights over the years have given me a definite edge over my colleagues.

Even today, when everything is falling to pieces, I know I have something to fall back on. I still get episodes of depression every now and then, but I know I can always pick up a new project and distract myself. It probably isn't healthy, but eh...

I am alive. I code. I kick ass. My colleagues respect and value my opinion. I love my job.

Computer does what I tell it to do (mostly :p) and I feel good. Because for that small moment, I am in control of everything. For that infinitesimally small moment of my average, boring, and somewhat painful life, I am God.

Windows: everything is proprietary and inconsistent

Mac: everything is expensive

Linux: everything is a text file

About 10 years ago my wife and I were buying a house. We found out late that we needed a lot more cash than we had previously thought we needed, and the deadline to deliver it was just a few days away. After returning home from my full-time gig at about 6pm, I took a break for a bit and then worked all night on a job for a client to make up the extra money. When 7am rolled around I had just finished up. Then I went back to work at my full-time job, and later met with the client to present my work. It was roughly 27 hours at a keyboard for me. That effort made it possible for us to successfully buy our first home. If you want something badly enough, make it happen!

CW: The SQL injection vulnerability isn't important because our code is proprietary so hackers won't find it.

Me: <censored>

Check out my new raspberry pie.. Cheers from Canada and my grandmother

Hey guys, thank you so much for your feedback. I just got a job offer and i'm super thrilled. Just can't believe it!

I’m a team lead in the tech team, myself and another team lead manage the on call processes for the department, so when stuff breaks we need to fix it. I assume there is sufficient documentation available for me to fix a process that is not mine.

one of the other managers processes breaks. He’s on annual leave and is away for another week. I attempt to fix the process. No documentation. What do i do?

I go to my manager the next day and tell her the process is broken and I can’t fix it because there’s no documentation and I don’t know what the full impacts are. She agreed we should leave it until he comes back from AL.

He comes back a week later. I tell him the process is broken and it’s been failing since he went on AL.

Him: we had a handover before I went on holiday
Me: no, you showed me where the ‘documentation’ was. Said documentation is not defined enough and is out of date. I didn’t want to break it further by trying to repair it when it’s not completely critical
Him: but it is critical, it has to run every day
Me: so why doesn’t it say that in the documentation?
Him: ............
Me: can you fix it please
Him: no, I’ve got too much to do having just come back from holiday
Me: more critical that a process that has to run EVERY DAY and has been failing for the past 10 DAYS??
Him: I’ll see if I have time

2 hours later...

Him: Lets put in some time for handover so you can understand the process. Is an hour long enough?
Me: I don’t know, you tell me, it’s your process, you know what’s involved and how long it should take to explain
Him: well is an hour long enough?
Me: I don’t know, it takes however long it takes you to explain it
Him: I’m asking you
...........

At this point I’m getting more and more angry, how can you not know how long your process is gonna take to explain when you’re the one that wrote it?! I fully well know that it’s gonna take longer than an hour because it’s an SSIS package that looks like a plate of spaghetti, you spend 15 minutes working out what box flows to where before even looking at any SQL, and he’s still asking me how long it’s gonna take and distracting me from my ACTUAL critical work

Man is a waste of space, so quick to give you work that isn’t his but never takes responsibility for his own... honestly have no clue whatsoever how he became a manager....

This rant doesn’t seem like much reading it back but I swear it’s the last in a looooonnngggg like of his fuck ups that other people have had to deal with 🙄🙄

In Japan, they have technical books written in comic/manga styles.

me: im tired of coding here

boss: then go home and code there

me: GREAT SEE U TOMORROW

boss: okay, tomorrow bring a pillow, slippers and food so you'll feel more comfy coding!