I put it in raid

Finally, my dream standing desk setup has come true 😭

I think they are looking for time travelers..

Newbie Coder : "... I mean Java and JavaScript are pretty much the same"

Me : *triggered*

On a break I went into a Best Buy to browse laptops. I had no intention on buying from them because they suck, but I just wanted to touch a few and look at specs. A salesman then thought it was a smart idea to approach me. Immediately, he was talking down to me about specs and asking if I needed it for email, Facebook, Instagram, and the like. I'll be honest, I am super girlie in my appearance and mannerisms. So I get it, I suppose. The big pseudo-nerd is going to help the little girl find a cute, social media laptop. He actually walked me over to a pink HP Stream lol. Sure, I like pink, but I don't want a useless paperweight of a machine. When I mentioned I need a new rig for coding, he actually chuckled and said "really?". So I replied "yes really, you presumptuous cockbag" and walked out. Needless to say, I won't be buying there.

I used to work IT in an entertainment startup, and now I’m an iOS dev at a big entertainment company. Several people from my old company have been reaching out to eagerly tell me about their new app idea I just have to hear, asking me to help code their app— and have even hinted at me quitting my nice safe job to join their great new startup that doesn’t even exist yet.

I know this must happen to app devs all the time. What do you say?

How do you deal with telling these nice people who just don’t understand it doesn’t work that way, without crushing their dream? I have a coffee meeting planned to tell one of them “You should learn to code so you can make a proof of concept,” but I fear that won’t be received well.

What’s the standard protocol for telling people you won’t be able to code their magic app idea?

True story..

What do you prefer?
a) if (var1 != var2)
or
b) if (!(var1 == var2))

No matter how hard requirement look or the thing you're going to develop JUST START THAT SHIT it will take time but you can and will do it.

Had a video game thought a few years ago. Wrote it down. Created a board game of it last year. Tweaked it. This year I am diving into Unreal Engine 4, Maya and C++ to make it come to life...

Junior dev: "I don't understand this code, therefore there must be something wrong with it. I'm gonna rewrite it."

Team lead dismisses my request for promotion to senior, "need more experience", 3 hours later get job offer for senior position

Strange how Buddha accurately predicted the ransomware attacks :/

This describes it pretty well.

Client: We can talk about how you would like to be paid for this endeavor. I'm open to ideas on that front.

Me: Preferably with money.

I hate android fragments, I hate 'em, I hate 'em, oh I hate em so much....
..
Wait it worked! I love android, I love fragments! <3

Ok. I will learn JASON

An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
--------------------------------------------------------
I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me

Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and​ he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.

##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##

Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭

A liitle upset..
Didn't get hired :(

Sometimes we scare to delete old code

Oldies

How to kill a lot of Linux users in one go without being accused of murder:

1) Write on social media "which is the best Linux distro and why?"
2) Watch them fight and kill each other
3) Profit

Am I the only one that will have my headphones on (without music) just so people will not bother me?

I still love Turbo C

I like to code with my laptop unplugged. Gives an extra bit of excitement knowing that my last change might not save.

Fucking fuck you 'executive' sales director.

You come into my office when I'm not here, and then force people to prioritise your shitty fucking customer above a high priority one that I need to go to. I get phoned and told, "You will go there".

Basically, he just prioritised a shitty fucking issue of 3 users over a high priority SLA customer of 140 users.

Getting shat out as I speak about why the high priority is not being done (I need to do DR there, because their server crashed).

Basically said - I am fucked. I either choose to go to the SLA call and then the 'director' fucking loses his shit and hits me, or I go to the call and the MD loses his shit and fucks me up (again).

Fuck this.
Fuck.

Time to get to work!

My setup

Knowing where to click before the page loads it's an abuse :(

Well he did the right thing

All to often I have trouble falling asleep because I can't stop thinking about my code.