Fuck uefi

What's SAP?
Piece of shit if you ask me.
Their Crystal Reports is so user-hostile it makes me want to throw up all over the keyboard.

Interviewing a candidate for a dev position.

Interview is over and handshakes commence.

After the interview we have a debrief in a room that has hand sanitizer in it (just coincidence).

I squirt some and it comes out like a rocket ship; getting all over one of his resumes we printed. It looks like jizz...

One of the head guys walks in a says:

“I hope he didn’t hand you the resume like that.”

To which one of our ops people, let’s call her Sara, says...

“No, leanrob just REALLY likes his resume!!!”

> I almost fucking died from laughter

I'd rather be stuck in vim than stuck with your bullshit

After a 4 year CS college completed and 3 years of java experience I have found the biggest challenge of my life when my gf asked me to teach her programming. After explaining 10 times what a class and an object is , I started to understand how frustrating is for a teacher with a shitty pay to teach an know-it-all dumb fuck to write a hello world after 2 years of college.

That moment when an SEO 'expert' asks if changing ip addresses will put his sites lower in Google.

I'm a fucking Linux engineer, how am I supposed to know that?!

Please live up to your fucking title "SEO *expert*" and don't ask some innocent Linux engineer about this shit 😡

Hello! Im new to this! My name is Kevin and I cant wait to be apart of this awesome community!

Sometimes I wish my girlfriend was able to write code so we could talk and share our code and thoughts.

Sometimes I thank God she finds it the most boring thing on Earth and we get to talk about other things and decompress.

In India we don't go rubber duck debugging. We debug with God 😂😂😂 (For non Indians that is Ganesha, one of the famous Hindu god. Said to be the god of knowledge and hence engineering by extension )

It saved me from suicide.

You have to understand first that things in India work differently. Academics are not personal, but a social business. Academic competition in India is very high and not in a good way, or for the good reasons.

As a teenager was sent off from my home to the other side of the country. I didn't like it. My studies suffered, and I failed my exams. Came back home and faced months of emotional abuse (guilt trips, scornful comments, plain insults) from my parents, neighbours and relatives. Indian society is just built that way. They didn't know they were damaging my psyche, or they were too angry to care. Lots of other shit (lost friends, lost love) happened at roughly the same time period and everything started to fall like dominos.

I fell into severe depression. Lost appetite, lost sleep. Nothing mattered anymore. There were mornings when I would wake up and not get up from my bed for hours, and not even move a finger. Self-hate became the motto of the day. I became violent and anti-social. I would either be angry or trying not to break down and give up all the time. Many a night, I considered suicide. I would end up googling for easy ways out to take.

But what gave me a way out of the pains of my reality was programming. It helped my keep my head, figuratively and literally. It kept my mind distracted and gave me a sense of purpose. I would shut myself in, plug in my headphones, shut the world out and just experiment.

I am not saying that I am the best at what I do, but those sleepless and troubled nights, and many other similar nights over the years have given me a definite edge over my colleagues.

Even today, when everything is falling to pieces, I know I have something to fall back on. I still get episodes of depression every now and then, but I know I can always pick up a new project and distract myself. It probably isn't healthy, but eh...

I am alive. I code. I kick ass. My colleagues respect and value my opinion. I love my job.

Computer does what I tell it to do (mostly :p) and I feel good. Because for that small moment, I am in control of everything. For that infinitesimally small moment of my average, boring, and somewhat painful life, I am God.

How has coding impacted your life...?

- Using Linux
- Valuing OpenSorce over cracked software
- Using more CLI than GUI programs
- Only playing games that run on Linux or Wine
- Hating Micro$oft
- Utilizing VMs and Servers
- Tinkering with Hardware (RPi, custom PC)
- ...

... Nah not that much. 🤗😅

In 2004 my mom decided to put Ethernet cables into the walls of our house, which is very awesome. Now i found out that the're Cat6!

But they are not...

I once met a very cute client. Inner me was saying​ to go and get this girl. But company's code of conduct is completely against it that an employee shouldn't ask his/her clients out with you or date with him/her. Even my colleagues knew me as a man of criteria. So I leave
.
.
.
.
.
the Code of Conduct and now she is my gf. :)

Received an offer for a job by a recruter during the weekend!

The offer is for a job in the company and team I'm already in!

The ability to slap people through tcp/ip.

Door to door salespeople are real life popup ads!

Dear Apple.

Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.

Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.

Google is a bit confused about what "wtf" mean :-)

Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"

Sometimes the testers do a good job, sometimes.. 😂😂

What gif

"Hey, you know Binary Search Trees?" "Say no more."

"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"

I left the building at that exact moment.

"The password must be 6 to 32 characters long and must contain atleast one uppercase character, one lowercase character, a special character, the md5 hash of your last name, a dried olive branch and the blood of a unicorn."

Am I the only one who lets friends and relatives always browse on my computer on the OS-default browser like Safari or IE. So they don't disturb my precious tabs and log in Chrome? 😂

working on front end is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane

Just coded for ~14h straight. Started doing some super heavy code cleanup and refactoring. Almost cried when I saw my code from the past.

Maybe it's time to call it a day...

Am I the only one that thinks iOS is better than Android in terms of UI/UX design?

The 1st of July, it'll be a year ago since my father passed away.

I made him a promise as he explicitly told me; "Please grow our company, I wouldn't have put you in the CTO position if you sucked at what you do" - so I said I would keep pushing the boundaries.

As per now we've officially broken our set target. Our revenue thus far in 6 months of time has reached to last years total revenue. I take great comfort in knowing that he would have been god dang proud.

July the 1st will be a day with both a smile and a tear. Had to get this off my chest!