Funny how the number of screws I end up with after assembling my computer never matches the number I started with.

Client has an "urgent" release that needs to be launched immediately... So they keep changing the spec every few minutes with new changes, but are upset that the product isn't launched yet. Lol. Got to love clients.

My dad picked up programming in Java as a hobby when I started my own dev company. We pair program on the weekends! 😁

!rant GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

I failed at a dating sim, how the fuck did I fail at a dating sim? They're designed to make you feel love and romance or some shit like that! The girl got hit by a car, almost died, got amnesia, forgot all about me and then presumably started dating me, but I don't know CAUSE THE FUCKING GAME ENDED!

*sigh* I have work to get back to.

I badly relate...😁

The day I got my first interview, my dad kept fighting over the phone with me. He thought I was out with my girlfriend having fun. He told me no way anyone would waste their time interviewing me, let alone hire me.. Boy did I prove him wrong!

Developer 1: Stop changing all my loops into switches!

Developer 2: if you'd learn when to use a switch I wouldn't have to change it for you!

-My 2 devs argument today

#officechat #good2betheboss

My internet got cut for one night. I had supper with the family. They are actually nice people.

Mom: Go outside a play.
Me: One I finish a couple more lines..
Mom: Get your #ss of the damn computer and go outside! BTW, I'm a 11 year old coder/programmer if you were wondering..

FUCKING ENCODING SHITHEADS!
WHY ISN'T UTF-8 THE FUCKING DEFAULT EVERYWHERE!
§¥~@#&•…≈!

After three hours of emailing with a customer I can confirm that programmers are the worst customers.
Customer: We've found a bug in the system... <details>
Me: Thank you for letting us know, a ticket has been created and the issue is most likely to be fixed in the next release.
Customer: Please grant me UPDATE privileges in the live(!) database so I can fix it myself
Me: I cannot allow that. You have to use the client software for maintaining your data.
Customer: No, I don't want to spend my day clicking. I want to write queries.

We didn't reply to the last one yet...
If we give him access, then I would charge them at least 3x for fixing issues caused by him.

Writing Python, coming from C#.

"Come on, this can't be that easy!"

Python brought back the fun in programming for me. :)

"A software Engineer? Why don't you do a real job instead of fixing people's computers?"

- ex gf 2011

"I'm proud you do something you love"

- wife 2016

Mom: "so... you do things with the computer, but what do those things do?" or "I have no clue what you just said, but good luck with that"

Father: "couldn't you have gotten a real job? Like machining or warehouse management, where actual work can be seen rather than sitting on your &ss all day, typing on that keyboard"
- he changed his view real quick when I showed him my paycheck. ($3/ hr more than him)

Brother: "cool"

Ex-gf: "I hate you" (more because of my starting pay)

"congratulations son, you are now a certified virgin"

Hilarious dad 😑😢

Just watched Snowden

to check if Edward had completed his assignment that is supposed to take 5 hours but Ed does it in 40 min, top CIA director guy types:

cd backup
ls

Into computer terminal.

Pats Ed on back. Well done super hacker.

Apparently by opening a folder and looking at what files are in said folder you can confirm the success of a CIA exam.

Just remembered an old dad story:

Around 30 years ago I started a game on my Commodore 64, I was about 15 at the time, and back then you had to load the games from cassette tapes.

So I started the cassette player and waited for the game to load, and when it was done I stopped the tape. My dad saw this and he asked :

- "Why did you stop the tape if you want to play the game?"

And I guess it is kind of natural for someone who used cassette tapes for listening to music, to say that :-) Still I laughed at my dad...

(pseudorant)
Any ideas on how to end with computer scams (fake Microsoft support calls, money flips and the other gazillion)?
I'm really tired of this. A$$#les abusing unsuspecting people, abusing our elders, shielded behind a remote control session.
I know that this is very I.T. I'm just appealing to the extremely powerful distributed knowledge of all SUPERB people in devRant.
Thanks and hope that this was not tl;dr

Do you really have to redefine every word in the English language? 😂 #assembly

My manager just left the company to become a independent game developer. His game is also available in steam as early access.

He just became extra cool to me.

And he is using unreal engine for it.

That made him extra cooler to me 😁

A computer is Jon Snow . "It knows Nothing". Still does everything.

I am literally laughing out of breath

Print this off and thank me later ...

"So, you will stay in a chair all day doing 'clickety click'. That's not a job."
(My mother, circa 1990)😲

Yes, I'm old... My first program was written in a stone table with a chisel😁

The software development process consists of two activities: debugging and rebugging.

While working, my dad would come and stand behind me. Looking at the indentation, he would sarcastically say things like "Don't you know how to write?" or "Why are you writing so ziggy zaggy? " or "All these years of education, for what?"

The first two or three times I really had a good laugh. But after that, I really get pissed off.

My mom always supported my decisions and usually when I'm coding at home she'll sit next to me and see me code. She always say that Sublime is pretty with the theme I have.