This never gets old, or does that?

Someone got stuck in vim while trying to commit

Recursion explained:
https://www.devrant.io/rants/241166

A trusted-partner of my company obviously opened a dodgy email, as some of my co-workers got emails with a dodgy link from them....

So our Network Admin sent an email to the entire company with a screenshot of the email and a message along the lines of "DO NOT CLICK THE LINK IF YOU'VE RECEIVED THE ORIGINAL EMAIL!"

Company director REPLIES TO ALL and says 'i cant click the link that you sent to us'.
N.A replies directly to him to say its only a screenshot as it could spread a virus.

Director then informs N.A that that he has found the original mail (hurrah!) but the link downloaded an empty .zip file, so he forwarded the file to another director... who also couldn't open.... so they forwarded it to another person who also couldn't open it..... and they in turn forwarded it etc etc.

Currently have 37 power scans running (out of 250 computers) and trying to figure out how the hell these people manage to dress themselves every morning.

My morning:

Me: Why did you just delete the failing unit tests?

Intern: I debugged it for a while and found one of the other developers broke it with his recent changes. I couldn't fix it.

Me: Did you let him know he broke it?

Intern: No.

Me: So you just deleted it and decided to pretend the feature isn't broken?

Intern: ... No ... I mean ... well you told us yesterday we needed to have all the tests passing.

(I NEED a stress ball people)

Devs we be like.....!...thanks to Bots.....Why should we remain single for ever😂😂😂

I put an Easter egg into a product, that if you enter the string "final countdown" into the stock code search field, it plays a YouTube vid of Europe's "The Final Countdown", in a hidden div. It's an in-joke for a few people in the company.

A well meaning maintainer with no sense of humour or judgement takes over and goes on the warpath against any hardcoded strings. The secret code gets moved into a config file.

A third developer changes the deployment script so that it clears any configs that aren't explicitly set in the deployment settings.

So the secret code is now "".

Literally every PC in the stock buying department is now blaring out "The Final Countdown" at top volume.

...Except none of them have speakers, so it remains this way for over a year and two more changes of maintainer.

I just noticed this afternoon and quietly re-hardcoded the string. The buying dept.'s PCs will silently sing no more.

Anybody have a pet that specializes in pair programming?

Don't you just hate it when you are writing up a report and this happens.. ugh,the frustration!

"It's just going to be a small application". Six months into development, here we are:

Woah Google... what's with all the hostility?!

A Professor of mine - We need u to build that website so that your juniors could work on it too after u leave.

Me - Sure, I'll have docs and vcs

Prof : Whatever, at the end we need the "exe" ready.

---------😇

"So we have 20GB of data, we need to show ALL of it on the graph ... oh yea it needs to work on mobile"

Using pirated windows

Are people sharing ducks? 🐤

To the people saying "I need to reduce my keystrokes" when they are asked why they omit semicolon's;

It is a common delusion thinking that we spend most of our time typing, when in reality we spend most of our time gazing into the abyss thinking to ourselves "oh my god what have I done".

Anything that decreases your typing time but increases your time in the abyss is a terrible tradeoff.

- D. Crockford

Seems like the buzzword for non tech these days is... API. Probably only used 10% of the time in context.

Programmers of today are like the monks of the middle ages. We use a language that people don't understand, we spend all our time sitting in a room reading, and people constantly ask us for advice but never really listens to the answer.