This is Epic...

Last night I had a dream about a bug and I woke up with a solution. When I got to the office and tried it out it worked...I have heard about this happening before but this is the first time I have experienced it!

👻👻👻👻👻🔞

Life of Programmer

For some reason my productivity skyrockets at night

sometimes I feel like I'm a fullstackoverflow developer ^_^'

What your family thinks when you make a website

Stack overflow...

Friend: Oh, so you are software dev. What do you write mostly at work?

Me: bugs

Fuck you HTML and CSS

How I feel using Google Analytics Realtime to watch a user navigate my site.

I love how united this community is.
Everyone cares about everyone.
Everyone understands everyone's troubles.
"Run Away" seems to be the most popular and helpful advice anyone and everyone gives. 😆

Try to solve a problem almost all night. Wake up and fix it in seconds.

Developer (master's degree, -bleeping- smart guy, no kidding) was bragging on how he made a piece of code 3x faster (with the usual pinch that the original dev was incompetent) and spent nearly 6 weeks working on it (wrote his own parallel-foreach library because Microsoft's parallel library was "too slow").
I was the original dev and he didn't know I had my own performance counters where I broke down each stack (database access, network I/O, and the code logic).
Average time was around 5ms (yes milliseconds) and worst case was around 10 seconds. His '3x improvement' was based on the worst test case, which improved by about a second. Showed our boss my graph (laughed out loud, said 'WTF', other curse words) and the dev hasn't spoken to me in weeks (I say 'hi' in the hall and he keeps walking)
Take that master's degree and high IQ and shove it.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

how do you dress up to work?

Here after if someone says I have great idea... This will strike for me first... 😂😂😂😂

To all grammar freaks 😝

What do computers and air conditioners have in common ---- They both become useless when you open windows

How I explain web development to non-tech people :/

When you have to debug using Logcat for Android

Started coding, Opens spotify, Back to code, Forgot to play a song..

There once was a dev who was a believer,
that the best IDE was Dreamweaver!
He argued with zest,
That drag and drop was best;
So I murdered him to death with a cleaver.

When management can not comprehend that hosting is separate from the domain.

we all do!

Trying to extend 15 year old code.

Found

#define private public

at the beginning of a sourcecode file....

Time to go home.

that moment when one of your comments have more ++'s than most of your rants! 😂

Major requirement of becoming a developer is being a good googler

When you made a commit that deletes more code than what it adds. And the features are still the same 🎉

I always thought I was the only person that uses vim these days.. Actually I was laughed at when I started my job three years ago and requested vim as my ide....

Now everyone at my company uses it ^_^