I would want the super power to program myself and automate tasks, working out, talking to people, ruling a small third world country.

Create a new language that everbody likes

And Google Wave is still the best way to stay in touch

Time to leave the planet.

CSS padding…

ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?

The real reason for Dijkstra's algorithm...

It was great to see Gitlab not only being transparent, but also being so empathetic towards the employee and not bashing them at all. Instead they said the more things you do the more mistakes you make. And the system/process should have contingency so that human mistakes have some tolerance margins.

That is a great workplace!

It's 2017.

Why is vertically centering a div still so stinkin hard?

Yeah yeah ik what you will tell me, "use flexbox".
Well guess what,. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FOR THE PAST 6 FUCKING HOURS!

I've gone as far as to copy code from 20+ different websites advertising working solutions. My tab bar looks like the fucking rockey mountains!

My main problem is that flexbox on chrome is not accepting ANY % values.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go kill myself. YAY! 🤗

meanwhile @gitlab

I guess I'm not the only one xD !

Oh yes I know how it feels.

Center this div VERTICALLY......

One picture to rule them all

Front-end developer's to-do list :
☑ Climb Everest
☑ Learn how to speak mandarin
☑ Become god
◻ Vertically center something in CSS

Sorry, you are fired

Just upgraded my company's ecommerce site to the latest versions of everything and nothing broke.

I don't trust it.

JavaScript is basically Java

What's version control?

"The deadline is tomorrow"

Fix it in production!

That's not pixel perfect

"Like Facebook, but better"

"We must support IE8"
*insert Darth Vader nooooo gif here*

Stack overflow is blocked

Cable management goals 😀

I'm a bit ashamed for laughing on this 😂😂😅

Damn you DevRant! I went from playing mobile games and rage about players I can't beat to scrolling through rants and raging with other devs!

Someday my toaster is going to have an IP address. A bad automatic firmware update will most likely cause it to get stuck on the bagel setting until I plug a usb key in and reflash the memory.

Grandma's refrigerator will probably get viruses, lock itself and freeze all the food inside, demanding bitcoin before defrosting.

My blender will probably be used in a massive DDoS attack because Ninja's master MAC address list got leaked and the hidden control panel login is admin/admin.

Ovens will burn houses down when people call in to have them preheat on their way home from work.

Correlations between the number of times the lights are turned on and how many times the toilet is flushed will yield recommendations to run the dishwasher on Thursdays because it's simply more energy efficient.

My dog will tweet when he's hungry and my smart watch will recommend diet dog food in real-time because he's really been eating too much lately--"Do you want to setup a recurring order on Amazon fresh?"

Sometimes living in a cave sounds nice...

Bruteforce IRL

So I recently bought my first house (yay!).

Whilst doing the initial viewings I saw the below on the backyard and thought "hey that's neat, I can leave a key in there for when I come in late and my fiancée is asleep.

Fast forward to moving in day and the previous owners hand me the keys so I ask "oh yeah, what's the code for the keysafe" and he just looks at me completely blank, so I'm just like "the box on the wall out back" and he's just like "oh! So that's what that is. No we've never had the code for that, bye."

Being a pen tester I'm just stood there dumbfounded thinking "How the hell can you have a locked box attached to your house and not want to know what is inside!"

Anyway, that brings us to now where I'm stood outside in December on a Sunday morning brute forcing my way into my own keysafe.

I wish this didn't run so many parallels with my work life 😂