"I really love the new $3k Fortigate firewall switch you bought for the office after our chat about security but it doesn't change the fact that you can access any computer in the company using Password123" - me

Management: "We have a Team Building session next week"
Colleague A: "Paintballing"
Colleague B: "Go-Karting"
On the day: "Welcome. Today we will be playing an IT Helpdesk Role Playing Game"

Kill me.

Real life programmer

Credits to creditor.

8-Bit Cat

Not much of a ranter but happy to be a supporter.
Go @dfox and @trogus. Go devRant. 😄

I FUCKING HATE BEING AN ADULT

oh god

covfefe.js
Leak classified Intel and make the server great again.

HTTP return codes cheat sheet :
1** : Hold on
2** : Here you go
3** : Go away
4** : You fucked up
5** : I fucked up

Someone should just make a virus that installs the Windows updates on vulnerable systems 🤔

Invent punch over ip protocol (POIP)

Some people just need that sort of thing

Support in the nutshell.

Client: how much for a face recognition system?
...
Client: well fuck you that's too expensive, I ll have my nephew do it.

When frontend is ready before backend

I'd say that one of the most emotional days for my entire team was when a potential client called us and told us that they just rescued a teenage girl and prevented her from making a suicide by using our service.

The service itself is extremely simple and does not even work in all cases (due to various limitations). But when it does, it saves time, money and above all lives. When you realise that the girl who has already wrote her goodbye letter and ran away is saved at the top of the cliff... Well, then you know that you are doing at least something right!

The day I got hired because my (now) boss saw me showing off my super powers as a dev to some fellow students. He liked that I was so energetic.
Now I make quite a lot of money (for my age) and learn so fucking much. By the way, I'm only 17, so it's quite nice.

Once it really hit me hard. The father of my brothers wife once told me that I'm not fit for IT in general. He thinks that I have pseudo knowledge of IT and Programming.

He just works parttime at home as "computer scientist" and sells routers, pc and such stuff to some private customers. Before he used Filemaker and sayd that he already coded his own CRM with it.

When he said that it really made me sad. But after we talked I looked back what I already achieved:

1. I build for me and friends custom PC's with Case mods and Hard Tube watercooling
2. I can programm in HTML5, CSS3 and PHP
3. I raised a Community with over 60 people in it. We got 2 dedicated Linux Roots (I7-6700K, 64GB RAM, SSD)
4. I manage the Linux Servers on my own with VoIP, Mail-, Web-, MySQL- and Gameservers
5. I built up a complete Community Solution with Game Groups, Forum, Tournament System and a lot of custom scripts.
6. Now Im almost finished learning the C++ Basics to code and manage to learn the beginning of GUI/UX programming.
7. Next thing Im gonna learn is Javascript (Browser) and Java, so I can complete my Web Skills and also can code Java Desktop Apps and Java game plugins (don't rant, Javascript is not the same as Java, I know 😉)

So I thought to myself "maybe in the eyes of others Im not a computer scientist, but then Im on the way to be one at least"

But please dont be a douche (the father) and prejudice me, before you don't know what I already can and achieved.

Just because you're are selling computer parts and installing them doesn't mean, that you are a computer scientist and telling me that I'm not 😉

In IT you're the smith of your own merit!

Does anyone make punchable keyboards? Free devRant product idea @dfox @trogus

"They used coding AND algorithms"
Wow I didn't know that you can use those together!

Source: reddit

In an age of GitHub and cloud computing, how can a freelance dev using their own laptop be classed as a security risk?

These crude rules laid down by corporate IT depts just make companies look silly.

There's not much worse than trying to fix your CSS for half an hour, only to realise that it's a cache issue...

What is worse than trying to fix your CSS for 4 hrs and then realising that you used a "#" for a class instead of a "." ?

When i ask for a raise -

Boss : Are u joking ? I can see u hardly working.

When I ask for a leave -

Boss : Are u joking ? Who will do your work ?