check this wallpaper...

Too much work kills your brain cells.

Year 2200, somewhere unknown. A robot drone flies above a now destroyed city. As it slowly descends down, it finds it's way into a building. In the rubble, a monitor is still flashing. The drone moves toward the monitor. After few minutes of analysis, drone releases a connector from it's belly. It connects to CPU nearby. After scanning the system for another few minutes, it's apparent the system was not the new OS which the Government released and Mandated. Rather, a prehistoric OS which legends spoke in hushed tones. An OS so powerful, which controlled then millions of computers.

Like the story so far? Should I continue?

Continued from pervious Rant.

The Drone sends out a signal to the Headquarters. A "Rare Entity Found" alert shows up on the screen. "Quick, load the map", says the General. Map shows the current location of the Drone. "Dispatch the Team", signals the General while his forehead show signs of tension.

Further down the room, a man quickly types on his phone and hides it.

Far from all this, in a quite city where the street lights have faded away. Old buildings which look like they are about to fall and crumble. The sound of wind can be heard for miles as there is silence all around. A light from one of building's room is turned on and quickly turned off. A man, checks his phone in sleep. Awakens and pours a glass of water to drink. Quenching his thirst, he opens his laptop. Laptop's light is the only light illuminating his room. He again gives a second look at his phone. The message is still there.
"It has been found"

Continued from previous post.

As the chill wind blows outside, the man picks up his laptop and phone. Slowly walks towards his bed and lifts an old hoodie. With easy he slides it on him, pulls the hood over his head. He turns around facing the window. On the back of his old hoodie, there is a design which looks faded and discolored. Below it some words which too are faded. He walks towards the window and glances on the street. It's still empty. All he can hear is the wind.
"Perfect", he says to himself and walks out his room.
As he is about to exit the building, he sees an Apache chopper passing above. It zooms above the street. A wild guess he makes, probably it's heading where he is heading.
His phone vibrates with a message.
"It's ready".

Lol, prob repost but funny anyway.

XD
Agreed

Captcha is the key to winning the war against the machines!!?

I am so glad that i learned at middleschool how to use excel😂

How about some good news for a change?
We have new baby! 😊 He's our second.

And he was born on 10/24!
He's going to be my little devvy.
😊😊😊

True..

Thank you

The comments for bad Java code on reddit.. :D

Source: https://reddit.com/r/...

Every time someone adds “🚀 Blazing fast” to their GitHub repo, god kills a puppy

This got me.

Git.

The smallest utility made its way to being the largest companies must-have, the most critical part of the whole development landscape.

Using just plain C, Git can shred huge amounts of data insanely fast. It never gets old.

Git is a developer's scalpel.

Did a very tiny migration for a client which would normally be done against our hourly rate but decided to do it for free as it would take me like 5 minutes and it was a very important thing for him and he actually offered to pay.

Fuck it, he'll be very happy, it doesn't take me much time and I know my boss would approve.

Did the migration, messaged the client and he thanked me.

Next day a cake arrives at work with my name on it and "thanks for helping us with the migration!"

Now that's how you make my fucking day!

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

I had to add a "I'm not a robot" checkbox to protect an email address written in a page reachable only from our intranet. Boss asked, I executed.

Under settings, we made a checkbox labeled “Run Program Faster”. The state was saved but it didn’t do anything.

We turned it “on” when people said things were slow. Usually they were happy and no one complained the “run faster” option wasn’t working.

Since I met you I've been having sleepless nights.

- He said to his laptop

Hurry up before sale ends. Now you can get Samsung internet Browser at a discount space for just 45.92 MB instead of 61.55 MB

This one, is for all you haters out there tonight!
.
.
.
.

Cause I'm PHP, I'm dynamite
PHP and I'll win the fight
PHP. I'm a power load
PHP, watch me explode()
I'm dirty, mean and mighty unclean
I'm a wanted code
Public enemy number one
Understand

If it works the first time... its broken

2 devs in the office:
- Man, Stackoverflow is down. :/
- Time to take a day off ...

I'm planning to add this in my next project..

Login Critter

Source: https://github.com/cgoldsby/...

Yes, Foreigners steal jobs from Americans.

"If someone without contacts, money, language proficiency steal your jobs, that means you're shit."

I can totally relate to this!

So was first day at new job ... Boss takes me around meeting everyone. One employee stuck editing file by typing in new records data, calls boss for help.

Boss to me: "I like to get handsy with data from time to time. "
*me smiling, watch how he copies and paste the new records*
ME to boss:"why don't you just write the script to update all the records?"
Boss:"I don't trust the automation of input. "
Me:" what about human error?"
*crowd of other employees gather around awaiting answer*
Boss:"we include margin of errors in our disclaimer to the client... "
*He hears himself*
Boss:"... and we bill by the hour why would we work faster for less money?"

*me grinning, going to remember that line next time I need extension of deadline*

Me*murmurs*:" Master has presented dobby with a sock"
*Girl in next cubicle snickers clearly caught the reference "

Going to love it here.

What the world think we do..