Found a private api key on a github project. Created a pull request with key changed to “TH1S5HOULDB3SECR3T!iMBECIL5“ comment was “security fix“ i wonder if they accept

I find this very true xD

Not sure about the consequences..

Some guy my girlfriend knows, heard I'm a software developer. He had this 'great' idea on how he wanted to start a new revolutionary way of paying on the internet. He wanted to create a service like paypal but without having the hassle of logging in first and going through a transaction. He wanted a literal "buy now" button on every major webshop on the internet. When I asked him how he thought that would work legally and security wise, he became a bit defensive and implied that since I'm the tech guy I should work out that kind of stuff. When the software was ready, he would have clients lined up for the service and his work would start.

I politely declined this great opportunity

The worst one I've seen

Seems like a box, best left unopened

Junior Dev does npm install, Opens LinkedIn profile and adds Node.js in skills.

Noooooo... all I wanted is to quickly reboot to Ubuntu! Why Windows, why?!?!?! So much time wasted staring at this screen, so many lines of unwritten code...

I'm not gonna comment on that.

CSS 101: How to check if elements are directly under each other

Nobody in my family understand what I do for a living. My dad's reaction was; "that's not a real job". He's a craftsman/painter. But that's okay, I make more money then him 😊💵

Please Windows Modules Installer Worker, can I have my hard disk back now?

Sitting in an introduction to C++ class (I've been programming for 5 years but every job wants to see a degree even if it means taking boring intro classes)
I see the professor write code like this....
First: Ever heard of break;
Second: I know it's not wrong to write it like this but ever heard of spaces!!!!!!!

New job: Asked my manager if i can add documentation for the code/project.
Manager: it's completely useless to use hours on documentation. If you don't understand any thing just ask around. It saves time. Just use descriptive variables and method names.
Me: :|

Almost a year since I started my current job and every day I struggle to make things better, from introducing git to introducing a testing server to moving to git lab to introducing backup policies on the servers and so on....

And the more I struggle to improve everyone's experience at work it looks like im trying to explain physics to toddlers because I can see that although everything is waaaay better now everything is just gonna crumble once I'm gone.

# gym rant

My reaction when people hog the only two squat racks in the entire gym for 40+ minutes doing lifts that don't need rack at all. All I want to do is implement time division multiplexing for equipment.

I'm gonna start off my DevRanting career by posting the most relatable comic I've seen...

My trusty password manager, so I dont have to remember those shitty passwords. (its however being rebuilt after a failed firmware upgrade who bricked it).

Team leads be like

Dad: What are you doing with your life?

Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?

My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.

Enough with the toolbars, Mom!

This is Spork. Spork lives on the desk in my apartment.

My girlfriend bought the plant for her office but he wasn't getting enough light there so now he has a better home on my desk and gets lots of sunlight during the day.

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

Acceptance Criteria: it should spin

What only relying on JavaScript for HTML form input validation looks like

Just saw a variable in C named like this:

long time_ago; //in a galaxy far away

I laughed no stop.

Just had the funniest call from a recruiter where this guy couldn't pronounce c# ("c sharp").
So he was like "Do you know SQL and c...err..c..huh...cough..cough..c...eerrrr".
I let him struggle for a bit and then I went "c sharp?" and he said "I think so".
Quite useless, really.

If the codebase quality drops below levels measurable by way of "WTFs per minute", determine further negative code quality by counting the amount of times per hour you wonder if you're in Hell and what exactly you did to deserve this torment

When you're still trying to find the one...