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First post on here. Hope some of you get a kick out of it.

I found a python virus online a while ago that just corrupts your .py files, so I wanted to do something similar and after writing it I ran it on my pc, it corrupted all of my .py files.

He is going places.

Admin: "Wait, I noticed unusual traffic."

Me: "What is it?"

Admin: "Looks like we have a bot here."

Me: "A bot? Didn't know we are so popular."

Admin: "It makes constantly login requests through our API, it already surpassed 600.000! I will ban it right away."

Me: "wait, that just sounds like my bot.."

Admin: "DUDE, WTF? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

When there is bug, you don't know of, it can end up quite embarrassing.

found this gem in an open source project on github lately

Ranters this week

Vacation for two weeks, fuck yeah, two weeks of not having to give a single fuck about customers and their problems.

🍺🍿

My Boss: How long will it take to create login and registration page?
Me: 30 seconds.
Boss: You can't be serious.
Me: (Spinned up Laravel, entered comand - php artisan make:auth
Me: (To Boss) It's done.
Boss: What!

School server (Windows XP something)

Username: user
Password: pass + YEAR

Got a new duck for when I'm working on code smell

Give that man some HUGE FUCKING COOKIES!

My classroom had this, nice inspiration
Bad UX

"A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good. " - Martin LeBlanc

Get ready to change the copyright year in the footer if it's not dynamic.

Oh!! Nevermind!!

Shit happens... but never let your shit go to far... specially while in production or drunk.

2017++

Don't try this at home

When someone thinks they know the life of a coder but they don't.

We are in 2017! :)

Because of hardware failure we had to move some vpns from one datacenter to another.

The team of highly untrained monkeys at my hosting provider were hired to do this. First they ran backups of all the systems. Then they started the moving process. A few hours later they were done. We got an email everything was back online.

So we restarted all our processes and no data was coming in from our Raspberry's around the country. So we start a little investigation. What did these buffons do, they changed our rsa keys.

So we kindly ask them to put the old keys back so we do not have to fix 200 changed key warnings on systems that are not remotely accesible.

Apperently something that can't be done because their back up process is automated and always makes new keys.

Holy fucking fuck, whats the point in having a backup its not an exact copy. Is this fucking normal?

Now I will be spending the next few weeks literally standing in cow shit reconnecting Raspberry's.

Thanks a fucking lot. Not!

System.out.println("lol");

Your mama so fat, she's bigger than my node_modules folder

My friends be like...

Dream : Write todos.
Reality :
Well, i should conserve paper.
Oh, there is a todo app in my phone!
*Contains ads*
Shit.

True! 😂

While I'm in pause time with my colleagues and reading on wiki how, the boss comes to me and asks:
Boss: what are you reading?
Me: how to Quit Your Job Graciously 😊
Boss: 😐

The next day the boss offered me a +€0,50 p/hour.

current state:

A while a go in class we were told to look at this article about poor to stupid security... and my brain melted