Work prank i want to pull of....

We kind of did all of it🤗😂

Wanted to put a bull horn under my co workers table. We did actually do it and made a video of it.

Have never stopped crying from laughs🤗

If you can’t have fun then why bother!?!?

I did not...

My year of just working was up, and I had to choose my education.

I heard about the IT degree and went to a “meet and greet” with the current students.

I signed up and the rest is history.

Can we uninstall 2020 and install it again?

This version has a virus!

We are a small company, and our CEO and CTO attends our daily standups(not sure why)

At the end our CTO, after a little discission with our PM, goes: “This” is more importent and should be gone first - its money to the company.

Pm: Fine but then “that” wont be worked on for now.
Cto: ohh okay, but “this” is really importent, so do it first.

Standup done, people returns to work.
1 minut later, Cto comes into the dev room.

Cto: “something else” is also really really importent.
Pm: ok, so then we do “something else” instead and we will put “this” on standby for now.
Cto: and remember “operation” has the highest priority of all.

For fuck sake... just pick one or decide what it is you want....

Cto has no clue to what he is doing. Does not have a long term plan, other then get money into the company based on really short term goals.

Easy to say im not his biggest fan, and I am a 100% sure he knows this.

Fucking hate recruiters/headhunters they are all talk, but when things get real... They fucking ghost you - who does that?
And how is that a way of working?
What happened to being a professional, at least cancel our fucking appointment.

Asshats🤬🤬🤯🤯

From now on I will call you, so just lose my info.

3 days of workshops with new client done - happy days😊

Now starts the real project and the possible agony of dealing with all the things they forgot to mention and/or priorities to us🤘🏻🖖🏻

Here's how it usually goes:

1) I estimate the different aspects of the assignment to the best of my abillities, based on customer criteria and information. I come up with an realistic estimate for development and testing.

2) My PM runs the numbers through an algorithm. It adds time for other stuff, but its all still very fair and in tune.

Now to the fucked up part.

3) My ceo and cto looks at the estimate, and he will just turn on every possible button and twist the estimate into what he thinks he can get the customer to pay🤢🤮

This ends in the customer saying - no thank you.
He comes back to us and does not understand why they declined.

Idiot!

At the moment I geek out to picking pad locks and growing anything from seeds.

I have grow an english oak, its about 10-15 cm tall.
A maple from a seed I found in a park in Barcelona last year.
And all sorts of chilis🔥

Merry christmas and happy holidays to all🎄🥴

Sad but true😑

29 hours straight. From a thursday morning at 8 to friday around lunch at 13. No sleep at all.

A coworker became a dad a week before, so now I had to complete his data migration project. Had not been involved in the project at any point until his son was born.

But I made it and got a bonus in the end👍🏻

Our PM is on vacation. And our CTO/CEO takes control of the PM role.

So today he decided it was time to just start a customer change request. Regardless of the customer not having approved the actual solution and estimate.

He just said that he did not want to waste any more time talking to the customer. Now they are gonna get what ever he thinks they want.

I predict this to backfire in a fabulous way. What could possible go wrong🤔

My home setup - Nothing much but it gets the job done for both for work and gaming.

Never had one!

I prioritize my home/social life/free time over work. Always have and always will.

It’s simpel. As long as I make the money I need to live and do what I want, nothing is gonna change.

Had a coworker who made an export program, which should run one time every 24 hours and create and export some files.

He made it with a timer, that ran 24 hours before doing anything. Which meant that when he made changes to the program, he would have to wait f***ing 24 hours to see the new result.

Go on DevRant of course. Then go to the gym or go for a long run at the end of the day - Then we start again tomorrow.

Sent my application and got the first interview. However there were 2 months between when I sent the application and got the first of 2 interviews. In that time I had booked and paid for 3 weeks of vacation.
I went for the interviews, and told about my vacation, which meant I could not start immediately as I wrote in the application. My soon to be boss said that should not be a problem - great.

Next day I got an email saying that they went with another candidate.

I called the now x-boss an asked what had happened. He told I submitted my application twice, and that was the reason I did not get the job.

True. I did sent my application twice, but only because I made a mistake when typing in my email the first time.

Apparently that was a huge mistake.

One of our CEO: “we dont have the internet speed that we have paid for - I will check it out”

Developers: “please dont, remember last time?”

CEO: “the net will only be down for a couples of minuts”

Developers: “please dont touch anything, and do it after hours”

1 hour later we still dont have the internet restored.

FML!

Either a long run or a trip to gym helps me reset. I usually see things in a new way afterwards.

So the company I work at is moving to a new location. We are a small company, so we were all talking about potential problems with the move - network, internet, firewalls, access to servers and so on. Us trying to cover all possible scenarios.

Our CTO looks up and says: “or we could just cross our fingers and hope for best”.

WTF🤯

Words to live by as a developer:

“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine”

But somehow people(you guys knows who they are) doesn’t seem to get that!

Either crane operator or electrician with a masters in some sort security.

Random genius thoughts.

Got a change request today. The client had written two lines.

The first line(specs): we would another installation type something like "blabla"(an existing installation type).

The second line just ask for an time estimate...

They same client have been known to use mspaint as the visual aid of how they want things to look, and it looks ugly.

My reply for the CR: The time needed to complete the task is 5 hours + whatever amount of hours I find suitable.

We all have height adjustable table at work. So we decided to raise a coworkers table, and install an airhorn under the table to go off as soon he would lower the table. Lets just say he did need coffee that morning!

Working for one of our oldest customer, in some serious old, ugly and outdated code(web service).
The dev db doesn't contain any relevant data.
The QA service points to production, so can't use it for any tests.
My contact, at the customer, is going on vacation tomorrow.
Their pm is going on vacation next Friday.
No time for refactoring, db data updates or otherwise do important and much needed updates.
They want it to be done yesterday.

FML.

Had a customer billing due today, spent 2 hours trying to figure out why the Billingservice kept failing. Had an uncommited transaction on another laptop. Somebody kill me 😑

Our only PM out 3 weeks on vacation, we are now only developers, our CEO and CTO. None of them have any idea of being a PM - just ask random questions about work, hands the phone to us whenever a customer calls - Generally have clue whats going on. FML!