Time for some serious debugging

My 9 year old son checks out the source code of every website he visits. If he finds something he doesn't understand, he bounces it off me. I love the snot outta that kid ❤️❤️❤️.

!rant I read some documentation about Amazon, "save all the data in my butt".
- me laughing
* I installed the extension that replaces all the instances of" the cloud " by "my butt". I'm easily entertained ;p

When a client refuses to pay you because they don't like the color of their logo.

I was hired to build a website.

Sounds right

And then there is this beauty...

Priority
source: http://programmers.life/2016/09/...

I wish my mind had its own terminal.
Just imagine...

sudo apt-get install English

Until i get myself an actual sticker this will have to do...

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

Thats what i saw on a wall in New Delhi, India... Lol

I want to say sorry to my fellow devs for what I've done today.

I've opened the second page of google search results :(

Stop f*cking calling me minority or part of a underrepresented group. Yeah I noticed I am one of the only women on a conference. I DONT CARE, I AM A PROGRAMMER NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. Hire me for my work, not because you want you company to be more diverse.

Programmers everywhere.

Random : Hey you're a programmer right?

Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*

Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.

Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.

*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*

Random : How did you do that?

Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.

Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.

I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.

I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.

does stackoverflow team use their site if they have issues with coding?

Interviewer: (on the phone) do you know what SQL injection is?

Me: Are you a cop?

By day, I'm a developer.

At night, I'm a father of two awesome kids and a husband to a fantastic wife.

Stop fucking asking me to work after hours! Just because you sacrifice your life to the office doesn't mean we all do.

Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

"That didn't work as expected."

"That didn't work, as expected."

My father was very supportive. Every time I was studying he'd take the dog for a walk, do the dishes and whatnot so I could study quietly and uninterrupted.

The rest of my family was supportive as well but not on that level. They always told me how awesome it is and do what I love.

When you go to paste a piece of code with CTRL+V and accidentally press CTRL+C instead so you have to go back and re-copy it.

Slack isn't down. You've been fired.

first rule of front-end :
hate IE and express your hate and disgust about it everywhere you can!

css pun series #1

*Trying to finish up this project I'm doing*

Me: "Fuck this shit I'm done shit doesn't work"

*non-dev girlfriend sits in front of computer*

GF: "I believe this line shouldn't be here it messes up what happens in the loop. Or atleast that's what it looks"

*checking it*

Me: "So what's your ring size again"

They said I needed to keep my commit messages "PG13".

What they failed to realize is every PG13 movie is allowed 1 instance of "fuck".

Thank you Google for splitting my package

Yo mumma is like HTML: Tiny head, huge body.

Every time someone posts their multi monitor setup I'm looking at my setup and be like: "Will this community accept me?"