I was working in the field for about 6 years, and had my bachelors (working on masters). I went to Robert Half Technology looking for work, and the recruiter there said I didn't have enough experience (are you kidding me?) and that she couldn't market me.

I went to another office location 4 years later, and they hired me on full time (very unorthodox) as a consultant because 'I was a purple squirrel guru". (what ever that means)

The original recruiter at the other location now is forced to find positions and contracts for me without 1 ounce of say in the matter. If I am waiting on another contract, I get paid, it's like vacation. Makes it so much sweeter

Well let's do this group rant thing.

I had to build 5 responsive Web applications in 3 weeks. Again Web applications, not websites. I slept a total of 2 hours per night in my car, and would go home every 3 days to shower.

I quit soon after.

Came up with this one with a coworker.

One of my favorites

True story: I got fired once for leaving placeholder text that was replaced by an Ajax call anyway.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

*long pause*

Java!

When you are rockin' the bug fixes. -_-

That moment when agile means "I will sneak in new feature requirements in with your bug tickets even though our sprint is supposed to be only stabilization". Thanks PM Lord.