To everyone who needs one virtual hug:
*hug*

Google => googled

Duck duck go => duck duck went?

🤔

Every time I have to Google a method/function, that I know I have already looked up and used a million times previously.

Exp. that made me doubt my skills?

My non programming sister managed to find a bug I was looking for...

I couldn't find the problem for hours and she just looks at the screen and goes "That looks odd!"

Me-
/ / / / / / / / /
if (bool == true)
{
bool = false;
}
if (bool == false)
{
bool = true;
}
/ / / / / / / / /

My friend-
/ / / / / / / / /
bool = !bool;
/ / / / / / / / /

*not a real story*

Someone's 3 lines of Ruby that do the same thing as my 30 lines.

Good job.

This is by far the best please turn off your Adblock I have ever seen. I actually paused my ad blocker 😂

Haha found this on JetBrains website

I want to pay respects to my favourite teacher by far.

I turned up at university as a pretty arrogant person. This was because I had about 6 years of self-taught programming experience, and the classes started from the ansolute basics. I turned up to my first classes and everything was extremely easy. I felt like I wouldn't learn anything for at least a year.

Then, I met one of my lecturers for the first time. He was about 50~60 years old and had been programming for all of his career. He was known by everyone to be really strict and we were told by other lecturers that it could be difficult for some people to be his student.

His classes were awesome. He was friendly, but took absolutely no shit, and told everything as it was. He had great stories from his life, which he used to throw out during the more boring computer science topics. He had extremely strict rules for our programming style, and bloody good reasons for all of them. If we didn't follow a clear rule on an assignment, he'd give us 0%. To prove how well this worked, nobody got 0%.

We eventually learned that he was that way because he used to work on real-time systems for the military, where if something didn't work then people could die.

This was exactly what I needed. In around one semester I went from a capable self-taught kid, to writing code that was clear, maintainable and fast, without being hacky.

I learned so much in just that small time, and I owe it all to him. So often when I write code now I think back to his rules. Even if I disagree with some, I learned to be strict and consistent.

Sadly, during the break between our first and second year, he passed away due to illness. There was so many lessons still to be learned from him, and there's now no teachers with enough knowledge to continue his best modules like compiler writing.

He is greatly missed, I've never had greater respect for a teacher than for him.

How I discovered I was a developer:

The company had hired a pair of computer science graduates and we had been commissioned to build a magento store. Weeks went buy with limited progress, and missing functionality was met with protestations from the devs about unreasonable demands.

At this time I had been taken on as a designer / casual front end developer (though the focus was on design). I knew HTML, CSS and some very limited php and js.

We were severely over deadline, and seeing the desperation on people's faces I suggested looking into it.

I read the magento docs, got an install up an running, configured an installed plugins, integrated the theme using the complex multilevelled XML/phtml architecture magento uses and even got some of the more complex js functionality working using JavaScript.

In two weeks.

I'm now the lead developer

Woop woop! See what we got in office 🙌🏼 Magento devs can relate it better 😁

I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.

I hate people.

Announcing a few new devRant Android/iOS features, available immediately in the latest versions of the devRant app which just went live.

1. As pictured, you can now easily scroll to the bottom of any long rant by selecting “scroll to bottom” in the ... menu of any rant with >= 10 comments.

2. At the bottom of any rant that has at least 1 comment, you’ll now see a button that allows you to refresh the rant (and scrolls to the bottom) so you can see new comments if there are any.

3. Any rant can be refreshed by tapping the “Rant” title in the title bar.

How did we come up with these awesome ideas/decide to add these features? For most of them, we didn’t! At least 2 of these were recently requested by devRant users (some requested a bunch of times) and we heard everyone and saw how much these were needed. Remember, you can always suggested features in our GitHub issue tracker: https://github.com/devRant/devRant - we always appreciate feature suggestions and ideas for improvements!

Just to add one note - we still have plans to improve commenting functionality, but we’re hoping for the time being these additions make things a little more intuitive.

Let me know if you have any questions, and thanks everyone!

A devDuck update!

Hey everyone,

First off, thank you to everyone who has purchased a devDuck (or a bunch!) and thanks to all who have given us feedback. @trogus and I are thrilled at the incredible response these ducks have gotten. If you haven’t seen them yet, you can check them out at https://devDucks.com or the devRant Swag Shop (https://swag.devrant.io).

We are trying to process all of the orders as quickly as possible and our goal is to have all current orders out by the middle of this coming week. Many orders have already shipped, but if yours hasn’t, rest assured it will very soon!

If you ordered a Java devDuck or cape, your order might be delayed a bit until the middle of this coming week because Java seems to be a heavily-demanded cape and we needed to get the material shipped in to make more of that, specifically.

So far we’ve gotten some awesome feedback from the community. A short list of possible future additions based on what’s been requested: Go devDuck, Kotlin devDuck, Perl devDuck, Android devDuck, and possibly some devDuck accessories like little hats, sunglasses, headphones, etc. If you have any other ideas just let us know:)

Lastly, please know that even with the launch of devDucks, we remain extremely committed to the devRant product and we have some very exciting big devRant features coming very soon.

Thanks again everyone!

When your mother keep waking you up asking where is MS Office Word...

I gave several of you fellow ranters a little gift of "mass ++" tonight and I bet you're wondering why. I'm new to this rant and everyone has been very kind and open. Anyone that commented or ++ any of my rants received a "serial liking." @Letmecode is still my favorite ranter =)

As much as I would love to grow some extra fingers to ++ until my fingers fall off. I think the mass ++ spree should come to an end. Honestly, I noticed a couple of people were only one away from earning a sticker pack and their rants were more than deserving of earning one. I had no clue what upvoting was and I was just trying to pass on the kindness that I had received here. I did read several of the rants and I also quickly skimmed the rest. No matter what anyone says, it takes an immense amount of courage to post any kind of rant on here. So from here on I will only be ++ the rants in the original way that this app was designed for.
Thanks for all the love! Especially the jokes, gifs, and kind words. =)

@Gia85

Being a student and not having a job...

How CV works...

Clients be like...

Boss: We are using Angular 1 in our project, right?
Me: AngularJS, yeah, we are using it.
Boss: I heard they have AngularJS 4 now and it's faster and better.
Me: Angular, yeah that's much better.
Boss: So shouldn't we upgrade it? Can you do it this week?
Me: Erm... It's gonna take more than a week.
Boss: How much time do you need?
Me: 6 months, at least.
Boss: What if I put one more guy with you on this? How much time will it take then?
Me: Let me rephrase. It's gonna take 6 months for the entire team to upgrade all the modules in our product to Angular 4. Not including the time to train everyone on Angular and TypeScript.
Boss: Oh, Angular 1 is suddenly seemed to me a better option now.
Me: Smart move 😉

This is not just an obligatory 'stickers have arrived' post...

...this is a farm assured, oak smoked, northern tale of sticker arrival, infused with succulent, Instagram filtered, bengal pet photo...

This is not just any rant... this is an M&S devRant.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hello world, this is my first rant :)

Today at work, this was on the whiteboard.
Little "war" between the iOS pole and the PHP pole :D (Obviously PHP is better)

Conversation with my Boss

B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

What only relying on JavaScript for HTML form input validation looks like