"I’m not thinking about this pen when I’m writing with it. Rather, it’s when you least think about it that the pen can be held most naturally." - Naoto Fukasawa

FUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK.....I'm soooooooooooooo bored.

I'm a contractor, been here 2 months, yet to write any code. All I do is WhatsApp and devRant.

Siigggghhhhh, someone shoot me.

Fun fact!

Vs code actually works with 550k lines of html dom.

NO programmer friend
Me : Which language is the most used in the world?
Friend : English

Programmer friend
Me : Which language is the most used in the world?
Friend : Java
Me :

My girlfriend knows what a coder needs when it’s their birthday. Lucky to have her. Walked into my room and it was set up like this.

Next thing you know, you're getting an email from your oven about it's updated privacy policy.

Every now and then... try this.

Lol!
So much for anonymity😂

*Mom shows me laptop ad of 3000 bucks with the most overkill specs ever*

Mom: "Son, will this laptop run Google?"

Me: "Do you want to surf Google or actually run Google's server?"

Mom: *looks confused*

"I also want to use Fesabook on it"

Me: *brings her a 5 year old laptop with a new ssd in it*

*has an old i3, 8gb ram and no gpu*

Mom: "This laptop is super fast! Thanks son!"

*One hour later*

*Mom calls*

"Son, I think the laptop broke"

Me: "What? What happened?"

Mom: "I pressed a button and now all the keys are lighting red" (backlit keyboard)

Me: "You can choose the color of your keyboard mom"

Mom: "Ooh! How do I make it pink?"

Me: "You can only choose between red and blue..."

Mom: "What a ripoff"

*Hangs up the phone*

Fucking german highways, man!

Tips for people new to programming

1. Start counting from zero
2. Trees are upside down, root's probably at the top
3. Warnings are usual, go rogue!

What more? 😂

Friend: *deletes something from the internet*
"Thank god, now it's gone forever!"

Me: *Laughs in French*
"Hahahaha!"

Friend: "What?"

Me: "No, I'm pretty sure almost everything you put on the internet stays on the internet."

Friend: "ARE YOU STUPID??! The button says fucking DELETE. What else would it to do? Please use your brain for once."

Me: "You realize that text in the button is just a string right?"

Friend: *Looks confused*
"Stop trying to be such a smartass. Why would it be called 'delete' if it doesn't delete? Your logic make no sense whatsoever."

Me: *Makes quick simple app in order to prove my point*

App has 4 buttons:

-Play Music: Shows a picture of a dog

-Stop Music: Starts playing music video of Never gonna give you up

-Close App: Changes the interface to a random color

-Delete App: Pop up that says "The app has been deleted"

Friend: *Installs and tries the app*
"Dude! Did you even test your app before sending me?? Your buttons are broken as hell. None of them works. They all do things they're not supposed to do. How do you even call yourself a programmer? Sorry dude, nothing personal but this app sucks."

Me: *I need a new friend*
*sigh*

Talking to my angry girlfriend is the hardest debugging process.
I can't even find out what went wrong

I'm no longer quitting with formal letters.

*i am a teenager*

*i don't have credit card*

*can't buy anything*

*sees unixstickers is $1*

*pulls out a dollar from physical wallet*

*throws in the air*

*cries*

Hurry up before sale ends. Now you can get Samsung internet Browser at a discount space for just 45.92 MB instead of 61.55 MB

Been looking around ways to improve devrant's user experience a little, Idk whether you guys like it or not.. Just a suggestion 😂

My room fan broke last week, and they were sold out everywhere.
So i build one myself (last rant), but after a while it just blew hot air.

So after some work I have this :) Now it even has RGB :')

Originial:
https://devrant.com/rants/1591151

Boss decided to limit Wi-Fi access only to company computers.
Ended up blocking everyone, including himself.

When the purpose of your app starts with a "C" then just replace it with a "K" and tada: You have a cool new hipster name for it!

Example:
Collaborate -> Kollaborate

How cool is that?!!

This is so mean

unix dev swag..

Yeah...Windows...

Responsive vs Non-Responsive

No, thank you, you nice little app. If you wanted to call someone to find out the weather, I think I can do it myself.

when u look it closely. lol

stairs which is started from zero :D

Got my new phone a few weeks ago, it rocks a 11000 mAh battery.

Was sceptical as for how long it'd last anyways so charged it last Sunday to see how long it will last with my usage (few hours of devRanting, loads of signalling and quite some firefoxing plus Spotify a lot):

At 40 percent now 😯

Me : "Hey, I can't find the comments.js file, do you know where it is stored?"
Co-worker : "Yep, look in the CSS folder"
Me : "OK, thanks!"

5 seconds later..

Me : "Wait, what?"

A typical free WiFi here in Italy. What the fuck I'm supposed to do with this?!