My creation after 1 day.
Enter any string ending with period and this program will remove any spaces that exceed.
Looks pretty beautiful and decorative too. :)

Caffeine in bulk.
(+ agar)

Program: Meets a critical bug, potentially crashing the whole system.
Administrator: Presses the "Emergency stop" button.
Emergency stop program: Meets a critical bug in itself.
Admin: X . X

In Messenger...

Fellow developer: Which software is used to host MySQL?
Me: MySQL.
FD: OK thanks. :v

Just read on the news that there were two teachers threatened to steal the principal's life because he lowered their rating.
What has education in Vietnam become?

Should I merge the two lines, or keep them as is?

Hands up if you mainly use the light theme.

The debugging loop for Minecraft Spigot plugins on a 4GB RAM laptop:
1. Start Eclipse - 1'
2. Edit code.
3. Build plugins - 2'
4. Close Eclipse to make RAM room for Minecraft.
5. Upload plugins to server with FTP - 1'
6. Start server and launch Minecraft - 2'
7. Enter the server.
8. Find bugs.
9. Stop the server, close Minecraft.
[Go back to 1.]

When a developer is being funny about their own product...

When I hold my hand at the bottom of a thermometer the liquid indicator goes down.
Guess why.

So today, my friend (who is younger) has returned from a programming competition hosted by the district. The language used was Pascal. Before the competition my friend had been pretty confident about his skills of using Free Pascal, but after that, he has been different.
He came back in tears. I asked him what was happening in the computer room.
- Turbo Pascal.
I was stunned for seconds. Who the heck in this 2019 still uses an ancient compiler dated from the 1990s for the DOS operating system? And yet the competition's computers had only it installed. I think nowadays everyone learning Pascal, at the very least, uses Free Pascal as the IDE. I could immediately imagine how restrictive and frustrating was programming on such that thing.
- I couldn't create... dynamic arrays... so I had to declare two 30 000-element arrays (which was required by the problem), but when compiling... it said... the maximum heap size was 64KB.
It wouldn't let me use "exit(result)" (to return a function's result) so I wasted many minutes replacing them with "<function name> := result; exit;".

And many more problems.

Raise your hand if you think this is ridiculous.