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AboutSoftware were meant to help people, not the other way around.
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SkillsAndroid app development
Joined devRant on 9/29/2016
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Mon: Ticket A is now low priority, Ticket B is top priority
Tues: Ticket B is now low priority, Ticket C is top priority
Wed: Ticket C is now low priority, Ticket D is top priority
Thurs: Ticket D is now low priority, Ticket E is top priority
Manager (Fri): You haven’t completed a ticket all week! What gives??
Manager (Following Mon): Tickets A, B, C, D AND E ARE TOP PRIORITY!!!!!
Dev: …12 -
Hey Machine Learners and AI pips, whats the algorithm for detecting if a person is an asshole? :p10
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Had a fight yesterday with my brother about which is worse Windows or Linux. Couldn't win because he's ignorant about the advantages of Linux. Still waiting for the day to come when he gets screwed and has to use Linux! (Gif for visual representation!)32
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>be me
>it student
>working on group project
>one guy is making the ui
>says he added "date selection events"
>check code
Switch(date.Day){
case 1:
break;
case 2:
break;
//To-Do: add other days
}
He did this for years, months, hours and minutes.
He bragged about it.
Fuck you.
Sincerely, fuck you.3 -
I accidentally washed my headphones along with my clothes last night. One side has lost all bass 😢
On the plus side, they smell amazing.17 -
!rant. Haha....you get it when it happens to you. And the below meme isn't mine but I hope it gets me the stress ball.😂😂😂1
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That should be enough characters...
var str = "The Hardest Button to Button";
var res = str.substring(0, 16);3 -
That moment when the you actually think that this huge refactoring isn't worth it, but you do it anyway so you can live with yourself...
Code quality is love. Code quality is life.1 -
There are two kinds of people:
those who write
if foo.isBar() {
foo.setBar(false)
}
else {
foo.setBar(true)
}
Vs
those who write
foo.setBar(!foo.isBar())
Only good programmers will understand😢😊31 -
"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
Motivation * Time = Result.
But anything times zero is still nothing.
Why do I never have one or the other at the moment?!
5 month old son means I usually don't have any time but we've got him into a routine where he's in bed around 7pm. Yet after that I don't have any motivation or energy to work on projects.
Before December I was super motivated. Not sure what's happened but it's infuriating. -
Got a busy day today so last night I went to bed an hour early to catch up on sleep... Woke up an hour earlier this morning.1
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A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)
The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.
Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.34 -
Preface: This client, let's call him dickhead, is running a successful brick-and-mortar based business in one of the top cities of the world. He is highly qualified in a non-IT field.
Rant: This son of a shitbag things he knows everything because he can search on Google, has a degree, owns an expensive business, and of course has money. Does not listen to my suggestions on which framework to use, how to integrate stuff, etc. because he thinks he is the fucking father of Linus Torvalds, and Linus built Linux kernel out of his super-intelligent sperm.
But that titbag can't understand the simple fact that he has spent the last 2 fucking years building stupid websites which he thought from his brain located alongside his balls. None of those websites are in the condition to launch, forget making a difference. Primary reason being using wrong frameworks for wrong purpose, but his half-assed brain can't understand this.6 -
Girl: we need to talk
Me: OK
Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.
Me: You are the number 1 in my life.
Girl: *smiles and hugs me*
Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 029