It's rainy weekend and I am like

me, when the deadline is next week

git commit -m "fixed issue with fan"

please don't...

Sorry if I'm just ignorant but: I see a lot of rants about designers expecting pixel perfect implementations of their designs. Is that for real? In my world there is hardly ever pixel values at all. It's not paper publishing. It's web, things have to scale. For an iOS app where you have a few known screen sizes - fine. But web? Come on...

And that's without even going into CSS or browser quirks.

In regards to SO being down and the ensuing dev freak out.
To me, that's not a sign of devs using it as a crutch or being lazy etc, but rather a sign that devs are using it as a tool to resolve an issue they have not encountered yet. It's a sign that they are challenging themselves to find a good solution and not a hack, it's a sign they are learning, a sign they aren't just implementing the same project over and over again.

Like Martha Stewart says, "It's a good thing."

Trust issues everywhere!!!

...stackoverflow is offline...

I've had this amazing piece of advice as my Desktop wallpaper ever sense it popped up on r/programmerHumor. I mean I still don't write clean code, but now I know to be prepared for the fucker!

New "dev" at our company. One of his first questions. "Could an if clause have two conditions?"... /me *facepalm* ... where did my boss find this Person and what did he told him?

Kinda tired of people telling me that I'm "wrong" for using PHP. There's nothing inherently wrong with PHP. Any language is only as good as the developer using it, and so long as you're comfortable using it and it does what you need it to do, there's no shame in using ANY programming language. Don't let the these cocky "bro"grammers tell you how to do your job.

In an application that everyone in production floor used... I made some "improvements"... Next I know I get tons of tickets because is really slow... Like 20 minutes waiting and it doesn't load... I try with my user in their computers and it loads instantly... Puzzled... After trying in many computers my user loads instantly... Oops... I left a if(user = "me") skip all active directory checks 🙄... Made all production floor lose about 3 hours 😆 because I didn't believe 😛

My first time working with Java and SQL queries(SQL with little/no knowledge): created separate db for each entities and hoped it to work together after the coding was finished.

what a noob!

When you work with Redis after working on MongoDB... XD

when I was first started out, I was trying to test out a file delete and renaming program I made. it deleted itself. never even knew how it happened. it was effective in deleting though.

Developers Rant

When your team lead tells you to exactly replicate the ui which your designer has done using photoshop and the jpg output is given to the developer.

Yup.. there is no place like...

Truth.

I have my own secret script hidden in a /batcave dir on the production servers. It fixes everything the other devs usually manage to screw up.
I call it Batman.bat

Opening my webapp on IE/Edge 😭😭😭

What I feel like after 18 hours of coding and nothing seems to have worked out the way I want it

Pointer array.

Trying to meet the deadline with style!

SELECT true AS "Go to gym?"
FROM DUAL
WHERE
(SELECT WAIST_SIZE_INCHES FROM ME.BODY) > 32
AND
EXISTS
(SELECT 1 FROM ME.DESIRE UNION ALL
SELECT 1 FROM ME.TRANSPORTATION UNION ALL
)
AND NOT EXISTS
(SELECT 1 FROM ME.SCHEDULING_CONFLICTS UNION ALL
SELECT 1 FROM ME.SICK UNION ALL
SELECT 1 FROM WORK.PRODUCTION_OUTAGE UNION ALL
SELECT 1 FROM WIFE.DATE_NIGHT
);

Works fine for me

Updated 80% of the source code..commit msg: "updates". 😐

The problem with sawing laminate is that there is no ctrl+z.

Chuck Norris can access the db from the UI.

Literally no work to do. Learning Ruby to fill the time. Forgot how fun it is to learn new things!

The coolest bug I ever found:
was a simple button on my first website ~2002 that said "Don't Click Me!" and was supposed to popup a dialog saying "I told you not to click me!" When pressed in IE on my middle school network it would spit the message out of the library printer... Oh to be young again