Made my day 😂😂

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

Them: Why are you asking me? I didn't write it.

Me: git blame says otherwise

Headphones on = I'm in a flow. Leave me the fuck alone.

When non devs tell you how long a project will take 🙃

Post your work area, fuckers.

In code, we Trust...

We work in dark to serve the light...

We are developers...

The devRant app just crashed after writing a 4000+ character rant on my fucking phone.

Fuck me.

OneDrive:
Login -> Password/Account is wrong
Forgot Password -> Account does not exist
Registration -> There is already an account with this email adress
Well, Fuck you

This guy has hacked everything.

Teacher: Linux is build on Java
Am I dumb or what?

"Professor, my if loop isn't working!"
IF LOOP!?!?!?!! 😫🔫

Just saw someone at school with a devRant sticker on his laptop 😃

try {
❤
} catch(e) {
🍺
}

My classmates are such hypocrites. They pretend to be programmers, but they can't fool me.

"Oh sorry. I can't show you the result of my html code. I have to compile it first, but there's no WiFi."

There's so many things wrong with that.

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

🎶 He's making a list
He's testing it twice
SELECT * FROM users WHERE behavior="nice"
SQL-clause is coming
To town. 🎶

Changed my repo name to titanic.

Now it's syncing...
Syncing...
Syncing...
Syncing....

Recipe for Ice Coffee:
1: Make Coffee
2: Start coding
3: Forget you made Coffee
4: Drink it cold

Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix.

I'm pretty sure Shakespeare didn't say that.

Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?

--- a few days later ---

Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*

What do you call a party with developers?

A git together

I'm so sorry.

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"

I left the building at that exact moment.