We all know that guy that resolve all the conflicts with a "push --force"

Windows is such a great os. Especially after you installed the windows updates. Look what cool features it unlocked :

Holy shitt that gradle speed

Nothing better than coding at night. 😁

A quick advice to new developers. Never and I mean NEVER do a "quick edit" or "beautification" extremely close to a deadline. You should not underestimate the power of bugs.

that feeling when you find your earphones on the first pocket you check 🤩

Android devs will relate

It all makes sense now...

Found this while doing some random googling 😂

I might have posted this before. But I am going to post it again. Because emojis.

Me: 😁 Software lead I have finished coding the thing.
SL: 😀 Cool, good job. That is going to really help out the analysts.
Software Manager: 😐 hey I noticed you have coded a new thing and pushed it to integration.
Me: 😁 Yes.
SM: 😐 Well how do you know when it's done?
Me: 😑 . . . When you run it and it does the thing?
SM: 😐 Did you write test steps?
Me: 😕 Yeah . . . they're in the issue ticket.
SM: 😐 Yeah but how do you know those are right?
Me: 😕 Because I wrote the thing and the test steps?
SM: 😐 did you put any steps in our acceptance test procedure?
Me: 😕 No.
SM: 😐 why not?
Me: 😧 Because the acceptance test procedure tests requirements. There is no requirement for this functionality.
SM: 😑 Then why did you do it?
Me: 🤔 Because it was an internal request from the analysis team. There is no customer impact here.
SM: 😑 I really think we should write a requirement.
SL: 🤔 But what requirement is he going to attach this to?
SM: 😑 We don't have to attach it to a requirement. We can just test it once and remove it.
Me: 😒 SM, you know we never remove anything from the acceptance test procedure.
SM: 🙂 We do sometimes.
SL: 🤔 When was that I have worked here for twenty years and we have never removed a test from that document.
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
Me: 🤐
SM: 😧 I really think there should be an acceptance test written.
SL: 😧 Looks like you're writing an acceptance test.
Me: 😒 Alright as long as y'all're payin'. Shit I was just tryin' to save y'all money.

*acceptance test written and sent to peer review*

Peer: 😐 The requirement tested section doesn't have any requirements spelled out.
Me: 😅 No.
Peer: 🤔 Why?
Me: 😓 Because there is no requirement associated with this test.
Peer: 🤔 Then why are we adding an acceptance test?
Me: 😡 WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GOD DAMN QUESTION!?

Whenever I use sudo ...

this. is. very. common.

YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS!

Are you fucking serious? How it is possible that you, being a fucking teacher in a PRIVATE UNI, AREN'T ABLE TO FUCKING DEPLOY A .NET CORE WEB PAGE EVEN THOUGH I FUCKING WROTE YOU A PDF, LINKED TO MS DOCUMENTATION AND EVEN WENT TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO IT?

You fucking prick, and now you argue to your superiors that we aren't doing our job as expected... seriously? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID SERIOUS?

I hope you choke on the turkey this christmas, you ignorant incompetent cheap slut... ha, you're not even cheap, because parents are paying THE SCHOOL to provide them with "supposed" better infrastructure, education than a public one, BUT YOU COME TO TELL ME I MUST CODE YOUR ANCIENT PAGE IN FUCKING ASPX WITH DOCUMENTATION DATED 4 YEARS AGO?

Yeez... seriously dude, level up or GTFO.

Oh my god... Storytime.

A customer comes in with I assume is his father or grandfather.

Customer: I need a computer, but without all the internals

Me: So a case?

Customer: Yes, I need a Dell computer outsides, but without the internal components.

Me: Well, we don't have Dell cases, but we sell custom build cases and they come with a power supply.

Customer: *says nothing, but looks interested*

Me: *walks over to the cases to show him* So this is what the cases look like and we have two types, one for a ATX and one for a micro-ATX.

Customer: *still says nothing, but looks at them*

Me: What motherboard do you have at the moment?

Customer: Well, I don't have anything right now, but I'm replacing another computer that didn't work very well. I'm going to be getting some Dell parts to put in here.

Me: O-okay. So this other computer, I'd like to see it in shop to see what's going on with it.

Customer: Oh, you do NOT want to do that. I hooked it up to another computer and it blew it up.

Me: Huh, that's weird. I'd still like to look at it if possible.

Customer: Oh no, it's all wired wrong and... *some bullshit, but stay with me*

Customer: I am the best at technology. My hand has computer parts in it--government funded. *some more bullshit*

Me: Okay... *I try to bring it back around* Well, I'd still like to see the other computer for myself. So you don't have parts for this new build yet, right? You don't know what type of motherboard you have?

Customer: No.

Me: Well, I would get the internals first, so you know what size of case to get, and then get the case.

Customer: Okay. Thank you for your time.

He shook my hand with his "cyborg" hand and I was tempted to say something about "try not to crush my hand," but elected not to. Also during this entire exchange, the old man continuously farted in the background.

I suppose we all have been there

Yes please

Good morning everyone, I hope the Windows update service leaves you alone today.

"who is 'Drew Paul? And why do you hate him so much?"
"It's D-R-U-P-A-L, mom. And don't worry about it, you don't need that aggravation in your life."

Umm youtube you ok???

Anyone else have weird useless dreams?

Last night I dreamed that if my cat couldn't open my door, it was because her depencies weren't correctly installed.