My coding style is extremely fundamental (I guess); meaning I have to write every piece of code myself and I don't like to use anything ready, which makes me very slow and costs the employer lots of money and time.
It's becoming very discouraging, but I just can't give it up!
Any ideas how to improve this situation?

Working for the wrong manager in the wrong company at the wrong time;
This shit will rip off all your energy to code, no matter how crazy you are about it.
I did, and I am empty now.

I guess the dev community is very fierce and unforgiving. That's what I don't like about it.

Improving an old JS code, replaced all 'var's with 'let's. Previous guy wrote a comment above his variables, which is now saying:
"letiabes"

Guess I'm the equivalent of egg guy in twitter!

Anyways, JS in a pain in my ass.
That's it:)

P.S: I'd have blown if I didn't say this somewhere and possibly to someone.