Attended one of the best meetups ever. To give you an idea how awesome it was..

Speaker took the first ~20 minutes introducing himself.
His intro card deck kept referring to himself in the third person (he is the only employee in consulting 'company'). Ex. "Mr. Smith began his humble career .."

The powerpoint presentation began with him clicking each page, not executing the slideshow (ex. pressing F5).
Finally someone asked "Can you make slide bigger?"

S:"You can't read that?..um..sure...I guess .."
Starts fumbling around the zoom ...
Dev: "No, can you start the slideshow?"
S: "I don't know what you mean...there...I zoomed it, is that better? Now I can't see my notes..just sec.."
<fumbles again with the zoom>
Dev: "No, not zoom, start the slide show, press F5"
S: "Oh...you want me to F5 it...OK..."
<he *clicks* the slide show button>

Finally getting into code, trying to get out of powerpoint ...
S: "How do I get out of this fullscreen?.."
Dev: "Hit escape"
S:"No..um.."
<keeps trying to click on 'something'>
S:"I see visual studio, but its not on the big screen... "
<keeps click on 'something', no one is sure whats going on>
Dev: "Hit Escape to stop the slideshow"
<finally hits escape, then able to put Visual Studio on the big screen>
S: "Ahh...there, I figured it out."

Speaker had no end of making wild/random statements like:
".Net Core is the future of Microsoft, if you're using .Net 4.5...forget it, its not even supported anymore."
"When I was at Microsoft Build, I asked them why not put all the required .Net assemblies in one directory. Looks like with .Net Core, they listened to me" (he was serious)
"I don't use SQL Server Mgmt Studio. Its free and it sucks. I use <insert a very expensive SSMS clone>, its great, you guys should check it out", then proceeds to struggle to open a query window to write some SQL.
"When you use .Net Core and EntityFramework, you have to write your own stored procedures. If a developer can't write stored procedures, he shouldn't be in this business."

I was on the edge of my seat, hungry for the next crazy bat-shit thing to come out of his mouth. He did not disappoint. BEST MEETUP EVER!

I see more than just a changelog!

The struggle

You know it’s going to be a rough week when you stumble across an army of oversized ducks.

Today I learnt from a more experienced Dev that using git as versioning system makes the code open source.

Haha. Users will always be users 😂

My boss is gonna fire me today...
And it’s all because of Magento2 😡😡😡

Run, it’s the task manager

Need a girl to go for dating since I have none I sit with my Linux server

Linux is love 💖

When they need a fresher with 5 years experience

extra feature

Best xcode review ever

? Okay...

so true!!

*Doing a Peer Code Review of someone senior to me*

Me: This fix doesn't look like it will work, but maybe I don't understand. How does this fix the defect?

Senior Dev: *Blinks* It works on my machine

Me: But how does it work?

Senior Dev: It works when I run it on my machine...

Me: Do you know if this will fix the issue?

*Silence*

Never seen QA punt an issue back to development so fast.

when you're paid by number of lines of code written

This movie solidified my love for computers

Deploy to Production

Everytime I watch clients running my code

Oxford Dicktionary: A Project Manager is simply a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

I have a few questions:

How do you say "++" in your head:
https://www.strawpoll.me/17342756

Pronouncing "SUDO":
https://www.strawpoll.me/17342763

Vim or Emacs:
https://www.strawpoll.me/17342771

Fiction vs Reality

Spending half a day wondering why certain DIVs refused to appear in a custom theme I was building, only to find out the reason why was because AdBlock had blocked the IDs being used.

Have kept AdBlock turned off on my primary dev machine ever since.

<div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>

Stolen from a fb page.

Unlike you girlfriend :D

JavaScript? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

JK. Honestly, all I can say is the next fad will come, then the next, then the next... They'll all explode for a bit, accumulate band wagoners, calm down... Wash, rinse, repeat...

Oh and PHP will still be around. :P

"Let the developers consider a conceptual design,” the King said, for about the twentieth time that day._

“No, no!” said the Queen. “Tests first—design afterwards.”

“Stuff and nonsense!” said Alice loudly. “The idea of writing the tests first!”

“Hold your tongue!” said the Queen, turning purple. “How much code have you written recently, anyway?” she sneered.

“I won’t,” said the plucky little Alice. “Tests shouldn’t drive design, design should drive testing. Tests should verify that your code works as it was designed, and that it meets the customer’s requirements, too,” she added, surprised by her own insight. “And when you drive your tests from a conceptual design, you can test smarter instead of harder.”

Show some respect... 🙌

So our company's internet was down. Network admin was really pissed as there is suppose to be a notification from the ISP about down time. Network admin called the ISP customer services to inquire about the problem and they said "Sir, we wanted to email you but our network was down too."
Admin turned from being really angry to laughing out loud real quick...