Me: You know what my least favorite programming language is?
Friend: HTML?
Me: No that's not a programming language
Friend: ohh haha I forgot its like Pluto

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

*SSH's into VPS*
*Starts doing some general maintainance (updating, checking the logs etc)*
*runs the who command for fun*
*NOTICES THAT THERE"S ANOTHER ACTIVE SESSION*
*FURIOUSLY STARTS TO TRY AND LOOK HOW THAT USER MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN IN (root)*

*Goes one terminal to the left after a few minutes to see if I can use that one as well*
*notices an active and forgotten SSH session to that VPS*

I am stupid.

Biggest hurdle? Probably other people telling me no.

- My parents wouldn't let me go to college to study CS because 'this computer thing is just a fad and you won't be able to make a living off it'. Instead they pulled me out of school early and made me go study automotive so I could be a mechanic like my dad.

- At 22, my boss at my first tech company job heard I was taking Java classes in the evenings. Told me to stop wasting my money because I'd never be a programmer.

- Got a job at a game development company as a document writer. I could code by then. When I was done with my work I'd look for bugs and send the solutions to the programmers so they could submit them. Tech lead found out and flipped out. Said I wasn't allowed to look at the code because I 'hadn't been hired as a programmer'.

Today I'm a senior developer and pretty happy with my career.

When people tell you that you can't do something, that should be all the motivation you need to work your ass off to prove them wrong.

How they teach http errors the easy way..

Bored on a weekend i decided to write a html5 canvas game, got into the zone and a couple of hours later I was done and figured I should out it online. Then I realised my Wi-Fi was off and I had written the entire thing without Google.

Apple rejected my app, because they throught there was a frickin Windows phone on my loading screen.

How insecure can you be?

I used CSS to vertical align some text..

without checking Stack Overflow

Two unit tests, no integration tests.

Code I wrote: 15kb
NPM Modules: 198Mb

I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode

"Look it's people"

I went to shop to take a break from JavaScript project...

JS is everywhere

!Rant

So the interns tried to 3d print a rubberduck and it got stuck mid way.

Guess i have a coding duck now
I call her "Detached HEAD state"

Reasons why I love Google and their general attitude

Just noticed YouTube got inspired by porn video sites and now they are showing very short preview of video on thumbnail hover.

Nice but not that useful feature for non porn video site.

very serious printer problem 🙁

What does dfox say ?

DEV, DEV, DEV, DEV ,DEV, DEV
RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT

Friend (IT student): Which OS are you using? Ubuntu or Linux.
Me : WTF

Do you accept the EULA?

Bank managers be like

()() is not a palindrome but )(() is

Similar with pluses on devRant

The truth has been spoken...

I have been getting a lot of angry glances in meetings since my latest laptop sticker :D

Savage!!! (-Programming Geeks)

Put headphones on when I got to work at 7:30am.. it's 3:10pm and I just realised I never started playing music 😑

How Programmers review code

That's a great bug

alias wow="git status"
alias such="git"
alias very="git"

Result:

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push