I've got a really good UDP joke to tell you, but I don't know if you'll get it

So my Product Manager girlfriend just said, "I have a great idea for an app that people will really want. Can you build it for me?". She did not see the irony

When you can't rant about the stupid shit at work because your fucking idiot coworkers are on devRant and you can't afford to lose the job quite yet...

Lost interest in work for the day, changed a co-workers upload function to target pornhub.
Now we wait....

Just because you're special doesn't mean that you are useful!!

😂😂😂😂😂

Today is deadline day. So my Project lead decided to remove a key column because "it wasn't necesary".

He didn't tell anyone about the change and no commit message explaining it.

When confronted by the whole Team about his stupidity. His excuse Was: "I didn't know we had a deadline".

Holy badger fucking horsecum guzzling excuse of a potheaded flat earther!!!

One day an iphone is going to explode, and samsung users are going to be like, samsung has had this feature for yearrs lol

'your computer is doing something weird come home'

'i can't, everyone is being evacuated because of the hurricane'

'....it's trying to install windows 10'

Me:

Having a meeting to decide, when to have other meetings...
Scrum, scrum of scrums, workstream, planning, pm ,design review, architecture review, Sprint review on and on....on and on on...why can't i simply code:(

Well hello to you too, missing if-statement for no name provided...