The level of fucking backflips I have to do to get these morons to learn git and not share code via fucking emails, Jesus Christ, you'd think I asked them to switch religions. Why the fuck does this profession not require a fucking license in this godforsaken country.

Client: Build me two websites and I will choose which one I like best.
My Mind: Would you ask a builder to build you two houses then knock one down?!

There's nothing quite like heavy rain to set the mood for programming!

meet the new PM
go to shake his hand
he throws a "fist bump"
i change to "first bump"
he changes to hand shake...
can already tell that we will not see eye to eye in many things...

Live deploy gets canned because of a bug that was already on the production server.

When you get back to the office and remember the mess you were tackling on Friday 😅

"Hey! Could you help me debug this issue? So yeah, it's blah blah bl... oh wait, got it!" - Everytime.

Bug life...

Atlast

You know it's going to be a bad sprint when sprint planning takes two hours and at the end you've committed to 30% more story points than your estimated capacity.

When a subordinate doesn't have the initiative to even google what's causing the error. fuck fuck fuck

I noticed people using hashtags in rants. # really? We should use //

//theneworder

Every sprint...

someone filtered stackoverflow in the office.
can't access it now.
:(

😂😂😂

Does anyone else hate documentation?

Just got BUGS list from our Client and fuck- 95% of bugs are not even bugs :|

- No, changing the (not pre-decided) verbiage is not a bug
- Adding two more pages in the app is not a bug (what the fuck :|)
- No, APK file not running in iPhone is not a bug (goddamn :|)
- No, adding these "fuckin new" functionalities is not a bug (seriously ? :/)

AND

Mr "used to be a good coder" PM,

Getting "504 Timeout Gateway" error because Server is temporarily down is NOT a fuckin frontend bug

And No, writing Javascript with a proper design architecture is not a "complicated" way of coding
and fuckin No, Global variables and functions without any architecture don't make the programming "kind of better"

ps: And VB dot net is not a fuckin scripting language, VBScript is.

Thank you,
"buggy average coder"

When you try to follow the logic of those who went before.

"That's two weeks worth of development."

Translation: "It will take me 3 hours, the remaining one week, 6 days and 21 hours will be spent on Reddit."

Me working on a bug for so long the brain actually stops working. Leave work > drives home > sits on the toilet: "Holy toilet, that's the problem" > drives back to work > problem solved!

Anyone else?

That moment when you've spent an entire weekend trying to solve a problem spanning hundreds of lines of code but then you find out there is a library for it

When your client starts creating "bugs" for things that are not implemented yet... aaarghhh

does any one actually use rubber duck debugging nowadays? :/

I think devRant should add an Ask A Dev section, since I always feel intimidated using stack and I can't be the only one...

When people think that a 3 weeks online programming course get them equal to your 10 years experience 😑

yes i fixed this bug😏

When you get to the stage of just praying that your code will magically fix itself .........
Yeah hmmmmm

That awkward moment when you email a quote to your new client and he responds with "Why so expensive? Wix is so cheap"

* Kill me*

Caffeine? Nah. I transform Google searches into code.