0. Plan before you code. Document everything. You won't remember either your idea or those clever implementations next week (or next month, or next year...).

1. Don't hack your way through, unless that's what you intend to do. Name your variables, functions etc. neatly: autocomplete exists!
Protip: Sometimes you want to check a quick language feature or a piece of code from one of your modules. Resist the urge to quickly hack in the test into your actual project. Maintain a separate file where you can quickly type in and check what you're looking for without hacking on your project (For example, in Python, you can open a new terminal or IDLE window for those quick tests).

2. Keep a quiet environment where you can focus. Recommend listening to something while coding (my latest fad is on asoftmurmur.com). Don't let anything distract you and throw your contextual awareness out of whack.

3. Rubber ducks work. Really. Talking out a complex piece of logic, or that regex or SQL query aids your mind greatly in grasping the concept and clearing the idea. Bounce off code and ideas with a friend or colleague to catch errors and oversights faster. Read more here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

4. Since everyone else is saying this (and because it merits saying), USE VERSION CONTROL. Singular most important thing to software development aside from planning and documenting.

5. Remember to flout all of the above once in a while and just make a mess of a project where you have fun throwing everything around all over the place. You'll make mistakes that you never thought were possible by someone of your caliber :) That's how you learn.

Have fun, keep learning!

Who will try it? :-D

Behind the screens :\

Why software aren't free!

Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: Hi IT, I can't enter to my computer, i put my password and it says it's incorrect.
Me: Ok, hold me a few.

(10 seconds without do anything)
Me: Try again.
User: It worked! Thanks!!

Straight in dem feels

I just spent 5 minutes trying to fix an error saying that I am missing a ";".

I saw a ; at the end of statement but I kept on getting the error.

After cleaning the monitor the ; disappeared and I was able to see the problem.

Clean your monitor once in a while.

If doctors were treated like web developers!

Fake bug fix

It's alive!

Makes sense now

Controlling Raspberry Pi from Android, what else can a nerd ask for <3

School time, programming class:
Girl: Hey, Can you help me?
Me: Sure, what's up?
G: I have an error but I don't know why
M: *looks at error stack trace* You're missing a semicolon in line 133 *puts comma, run... 27 more errors* Well, you have more issues up there, why don't you try to fix them?
G: Oh, Ok, thanks
-- 1 hour later --
G: Hey, can you come? I already fixed the other issues but I still have one I can't fix
M: *checks code, same mistake I fixed, missing semicolon, same line* Why did you erase the semicolon?
G: Oh, because if I erase it, I only have 1 error, but if I leave it, I have 27 so....
M: *turn around, walk away*

Finally I found a webpage related to my bug.

The page is from 2004.

*keeps reading*

"Yes, yes! This is exactly the problem I'm having"

*Carefully reading each comments*

*Looking at scroll bar with stress*

*Almost coming to end, no signs of solution*

At the end the thread creator say: "Ah finally I've fixed the problem. Thanks everyone for helping"

*moment of silence*

WHY U NO SHARE THE GOD DAMN SOLUTION? YOU FUCKING IDIOT

So I have a crush on a co-worker, she is also a dev. She is very cute despite her simplicity. I really wanted to talk to her, but I can't start a normal conversation with her. My mind just goes haywire.

BUT, just in case she is also on devRant:

If you happen to be reading this, I am the guy seated opposite the other table, we are facing each other. I liked you ever since the company outing. You are very cool and I want to spend more time with you.

:)

welcome to hogwarts

Shortest Android dev training course, 7 taps! I am now android development, yes? 😂

My favorite http status code has to be 418. Look it up, thank me later.

To all new devs:
- Your language of choice is fine.
- There is no superior way to indent, yours is fine.
- Your IDE is fine.
- Your OS is fine.

Unless you work in my team, of course.

Creating a bug while fixing another..

Frontm End vs Back End

When you're in the middle of coding and people come over.

Don't forget to Git commit

My five-year-old daughter asked me to program her Android tablet today.

Daughter: Daddy, can you make my tablet do something?

Me: What do you want to make it do?

Daughter: I want it to get games for me. I want it to pick games I like and get the different games so I can play them after I get home from school.

My daughter asked me to implement:

1. At the least, a predictive algorithm to choose new games for her based on her likes and dislikes.

2. At the most, an adaptive artificial intelligence that will learn what games she likes to play.

Current specifications are unclear. Need revision.

When you don't wanna fix someone's machine but they won't take no for an answer.
1. Go to
http://fakewindowsupdate.com
2. Select OS
3. Press F11
4. Just tell them it just needed to update and enjoy the show.

So, there is this company (let's call it A) with an average idea, who got the android app and webservices from a company(B) . The service was awful but cheap. The owner of the A was a friend and gave my company the handover to manage the project. I actually ranted about that on wk11(The worst project). Now, The project was terrible. It took me months to give it any real structure, fix the services, make it compatible with iOS. Now, that majority of the work was done, suddenly we were too expensive and the work was being given to another company while much of our payment wasn't going to come(Friggin company politics). But, guess which company did the project now go to, it was 'B'.
After a couple of weeks I see, inline styles and js errors start emerging on the website.
Tell you what, if there's any justice in this world, he will one day come back to me and then I will respectfully tell him to fuck off!
Thank goodness there's devRant to just whine about this shit!

I'm too tired after programming, I need to relax.
...
I'm too bored, need to program.

Sometimes I lie awake in a cold sweat, unable to decide if I'm still building my AI, or if it has begun using me to build itself...

How death comes...

When you pour coffee into this, it instantly freezes