It's never a good sign when a team lead writes code like this

To anyone that claims to be a masochist

This 'friendly' message looks like it's trying to kill me if I don't pay my bill

Guy: dot net dev (C#) on windows. (desktop + server)
Team(not his team, he just happened to sit next to us): php/frontend devs and Linux (server) people.

Team: starting a new project! We'll have to see what framework to use and what server :D
Guy: i know it's none of my business...... but I'd recommend dot net and windows server!
Me: respectfully, that hardly makes sense, you know our skillset/field... i understand that it works for you but it doesn't really for us :).
Next to that we'd rather not use windows for security reasons.

It's fine if that happens once.

When it happened for the 1748472823'th time, I had a real hard time controlling myself.

I prefer silent kills.

× open Jira ticket classified as a BUG REPORT
× Title: "Mike"
× Description: "Mike is working with us"
× assign it to Mike

× reopen it every time it's closed

Finally sharing my desk! The team is allowed to work in a dark room, the proper environment for developers.

CW: The SQL injection vulnerability isn't important because our code is proprietary so hackers won't find it.

Me: <censored>

Our team just got the best email from our client hahaha

+ I’m an animator at Rockstar Games
- Wow what do you do
+ Don’t ask

Makes sense

First Day At Work

Friend: So...... How was it?

Me : Alteast the chairs are good.

What IDIOT designed this up? And I see that’s common in most laptops these days!

Popularity of programming languages according to the DRRDSI (DevRant Rubber Duck Selling Index):

1. JS
2. Java
3. Python
4. C#
5. PHP
6. C++
7. Ruby
8. SQL
9. Swift

When you don't pay your full stack developers

Just making sure it doesn't overheat :)

Nike's robots.txt says "just crawl it"

fellow web developer helping me with debuging

Congratulations.

That's a scary pumpkin

6 char

Oh poor Libre😂

Overheard from a sales call (involving web templates):

"Sometimes I really don't get our devs. They come up with all these ridiculous meaningless acronyms for everything, and yet they go mental if you dare shorten Javascript to Java."

Coworker in my team recently said to boss:

"Thanks, this conversation with you has taught me so much about single-threaded blocking I/O"

Some random PR comments from our company's repository:

"Are you insured? I hope you are insured"

"Learning git is not that difficult. You only need one command: git reset --hard"

*Link to amazon for dog poop bags*
"Please clean up your shit, before I step in it"

"Have you thought about a career in sales? At least there you might sell your bullshit"

I would die -.- xD

Please consider my questions StackOverflow 😭

Freefilesyncs installer made my day.

Sometimes the answer is just ... savage.

Had to post this...

"Programmers like you develop Internet Explorer."

This rant has been written from the Signal messaging app and uses a custom Signal 'gateway' (a registered user which is a server in this case) with a PHP api behind it. If this rant appears on devRant, it fucking works!