Me: fuck js, stay on the web dammit
Me: *installs node js*
Me: fuck js in general

Friend: "What is devRant?"
Me: "A place where programmers tell jokes and complain."
Friend: "Why dont you just do that irl?"
Me: "Because we never test in production"

Just got this slack from our server admin.

Another error, another long conversation. Hello again, ol' friend 😎

Graphics girl

Report to who?

Some guy my girlfriend knows, heard I'm a software developer. He had this 'great' idea on how he wanted to start a new revolutionary way of paying on the internet. He wanted to create a service like paypal but without having the hassle of logging in first and going through a transaction. He wanted a literal "buy now" button on every major webshop on the internet. When I asked him how he thought that would work legally and security wise, he became a bit defensive and implied that since I'm the tech guy I should work out that kind of stuff. When the software was ready, he would have clients lined up for the service and his work would start.

I politely declined this great opportunity

Lost interest in work for the day, changed a co-workers upload function to target pornhub.
Now we wait....

What's the worst bug? Schrödinger's bug, one that only appears when the debugger is not attached, and your test instruments are disabled.

Well Google.. I have been shouting null at you but you don't seem to respond. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??

Ahh tough decision 🤔😂

Saw an add on my fb feed:
"We will make you a programmer in 6 weeks" - course in programming.

6 f*king weeks! I've been studying 5 years, wrote down butt loads of code, debugged billions of bugs, read hundreds pages of documentation and I wouldn't call my self a full developed programmer.

But hey, those fu*kers will make you a programmer in 6 weeks!

Log into work at 9 am to see a meeting scheduled for 7 am, sent at 6 am.

When the team isn't holding anymore

Never ask a woman about their age.

Never ask a man about their wage.

Never ask a dev about their bugs.

Trying to get the requirements from the customer 😤😲😑🤔

That pain

That moment when you realize that you are workaholic, make final push to your personal project, hide computer away, and gaze out of the window, realizing that you are nothing without computer.