(sensitive parts censored)

Friend: Hey, can you hack my (some website) account?
Me: Depends... What's your username?
Friend: (tells username)
Me: (clicks forgot password?)
Friend: I will give $10 if you do it. There is 2 factor authentication enabled.
Me: (silence) Ok.
Website: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: Hey, did you graduated BLAH elementary school?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Ahh, I remember. You moved to BLAH elementary school in what grade?
Friend: 4
Me: Hmmm, I don't remember seeing you. What class were you in?
Friend: 5
Me: Well, I now remember. Stupid me. (smirks)
Friend: Haha. (continues to play games beside me)
Me: (Types in 8)
Website: We sent you a password to blah@example.com
Me: (uhh, heads to example.com and clicks forget password?)
Email: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: (wtf is this, types 8)
Email: Please type the teacher's name when you were in in 4th grade.
Me: What was the teacher's name?
Friend: Huh?
Me: When you were in 4th grade.
Friend: Ahh! John Smith.
Me: Ahh, he was strict, right?
Friend: Yeah (continues to play games again)
Me: (Types in John Smith)
Email: Set a new password.
Me: (Types "youaresostupid")
Email: Done!
Me: (copies PLAIN TEXT password from email, logs in to website)
Me: Da-da!
Friend: (gasps)
Me: Money plz~
Friend: Nope.
Me: (wtf, then remembers i changed his email password) Fine then.

=====================

1. There is 2 factor authentication enabled. : Got it?
2. The website sent plaintext password.
3. He is just pure idiot.
4. I didn't got the money.
5. I am now a h4x0r

Oh, that feeling when you learn the entry level dev, with no useful knowledge, gets paid more than you...
Priceless...

"hey dfox and trogus can i have a job?"

"no lol"

The awesome moment when a client claims that you are nothing but a script kiddy only minutes before you reveal a $1400 vulnerability on his site 😂

Rant.
So I work in the service desk and the moment and one of our clients use Mac's.

One of the end users called up saying that it was being slow and sluggish.
End user: hi my Mac is being slow.

Me: when did you last reboot it?
End user: last night
*Remotely connects*
*Runs uptime in terminal*
Me: are you sure you rebooted it last night?
End user: yes I close the lid every night...

The up time was 68 days...

[Feature Request]
Need private messaging.

Life saver

Downloaded a bitcoin wallet. Now i have two empty wallets.

Had a good laugh on this one

[via https://twitter.com/ElleOhHell/...]

Oh no!

My computer science teacher won't stop developing on the production server 😭 he switches the branch on the production machine to dev all the time and merges broken code into master. Kill me

This is what happens when I'm asked to document something.

I plan to integrate it in the very next crack xD

Am I the only one who figures out solutions to complex issues only when peeing, bathing or taking a dump? 😂

Programmer life :/

Programmers know it.

Very Accurate

coding for a reason

it happens

The only time I feel alive is when I'm coding

computers making kids