Our Service Oriented Architecture team is writing very next-level things, such as JSON services that pass data like this:

<JSON>
<Data>
...
</Data>
</JSON>

Our Risk team is making us enforce having an approved change record before teams can merge to master.

As in, people will get in trouble if they complete a merge of a pull request outside of an approved change window.

This, of course, is completely separate from the change record they'll need before they deploy the code anywhere...

Feeling frisky tonight. IDK might set up a new wifi router. Lol I'm so random!

Dude's face looks like he's programming Java for his job. 😂

Hunt and peck?

Oh no, JetBrains! <facepalm>

I don't read Hacker Noon all that much. Is this level of editing par for the course?

......

On today's episode of "Being the Company Git Guy":

"Good Day jallman112, can you ping me when you have a second? I'm having issues with merging our last branch back to MASTER in GIT. It's forcing me to resolve 400+ conflicts"

Sure. I'll get right back to you.

In a second.

Promise.

I'm the company's git guy. Here's an actual, typical, interaction:

[Coworker] 12:08 PM:
Hi jallman112, good afternoon

[Coworker] 12:08 PM:
I get this error -

[Coworker] 12:08 PM:
git.exe clone --progress -v "[path to local SVN checkout]\repoName" "[path to local git folder]\repoName"

Cloning into '[path to local git folder]\repoName'...
fatal: '[path to local SVN checkout]\repoName' does not appear to be a git repository
fatal: Could not read from remote repository.

Please make sure you have the correct access rights
and the repository exists.

git did not exit cleanly (exit code 128) (515 ms @ 3/14/2019 12:07:26 PM)

[Me] 1:38 PM:
Looks like [path to local SVN checkout]\repoName is not a git repo

If you invite me to a "lunch and learn" about company policies, and I have to bring my own lunch, well, that's just a meeting during my lunch, isn't it?

Someone at work snuck something past the censors.

Our Hadoop servers all have "bigd" in their name 😂

Is this just a subtle misunderstanding, or is my Google assistant getting passive aggressive?

Sprint, I think YOU are a "special character"

Now, I didn't even really know Employee Appreciation Day was a thing until an article appeared on the company intranet about it coming up.

From Wikipedia:
"It is a day for companies to thank their employees for their hard work and effort throughout the year. This day was created for the purpose of strengthening the bond between employer and employee."

I thought, "Oh, cool. I wonder what they're doing for it."

You know what they did?

They encouraged us to use the internal eCard system to send each other notes of appreciation. "Let's break a record," they said. "Most eCards sent in one day!"

And that's it. That's how my employer showed their appreciation for me.

I feel so... appreciated?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

P.S. Yes, we broke the record.

P.P.S. No, I didn't get any eCards.

When even your spammers are testing in production...

I'm soooo glad that the Google Drive team isn't one of those that always puts "But fixes and performance improvements." 😒

Why is Windows so clumsy with photos?

Because it's all thumbs.db

Everyone knows that to get answers from the internet, you don’t ask questions, instead you present wrong answers. More people will correct you than will help you.

-Ned Batchelder

Came in the mail today. I forgot I put in for this! 😂

How's your morning been so far?

My workplace keeps moving more and more teams into the building, but the number of restrooms remains the same.

All it will take is one bad food-handling day in the cafeteria to enable battle royale mode.

Collaboratively drafting corporate policy documents. Whee!

When someone asks to borrow your brand new, unused, dry erase marker, and then they use it to write all over a cardboard box

Salesforce. Just... Salesforce

For a publisher of programming books, Packt sure seems to have frequent website issues.

I hate that Outlook always wants to correct "Git" to "Gilt"

WTFitbit?

What does this even mean?

Hooray?

Can I trust myself?

Start a new email in Outlook 2013. Drag an attachment onto it. Immediately double click the attachment to sanity check it's the right file.

"You should only open attachments from a trustworthy source."

Sigh.