Facebook in 2030: we deleted our privacy policy

This office has gone [object Object] days without type coercion errors

Gotta make a bullshit deck, not really my job, but I guess it makes a change...

Right-click, save image.

It's a webp file...

...oh just FUCK OFF WEBP YOU F-oh, actually, I'm making this in Google Slides. That's literally their own format! I'll just save these as webp, no need to worry.

(ten minutes and lots of saving later)

Drag a webp file into Google Slides, in Google Chrome:

"Sorry, this format is not supported."

Even your parents hate you, webp. Time to have a nice bath with a bar heater, webp.

New job
New project
Main React component file
20028 loc
Can’t make this shit up

Algorithm: “Choose the blueberry muffins. Or, maybe the dogs. I dunno, I need more help here.”

Me right now: finally understood arrow function and writing everything in arrow with joy

i dont know sql, gotta look shit up and dont much of it really internalized

i may be now being assigned somebody else's task to do some sql shit

fucking kill me

Once C++ walks into a bar and sees C.

C is drunk, falling on the floor, spitting, and swearing.

How classless! -says C++

Saw a Job ad stating they give a brand new MacBook Air as you get hired (as a FrontEnd developer)

Is this a red flag? BC to me it really looks like a red flag.

Why would I specifically need a Mac? Just to test stuff on shitty Safari? I really hope so and I also really hope that it won't be to start developing iOS apps

We now get served free poison at work

----------------------------

Criiiiinge...

Sure sex is cool but have you ever deleted Microsoft Teams from your phone?

who the fuck write web servers and web sockets in C++ in 2021?

A big FUCK YOU to all those sites that disable paste on text inputs

For years I worried I was not a good programmer because of bugs, issues and not giving accurate timescales.

Then I discovered devRant and realised that there’s thousands of us that have the same issues.

cPanel - keeping shitty hosts in business since 1996

What the fuck is CORS, I can type the URL into my browser and download the file, but running a HTTP request from within a page is denied? Wtf kind of dumb no logic behaviour is this

So I was code reviewing this guy's code before merging into the master branch.... and then I FOUND THIS FUCKING CODE, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is this ???

JavaScript & TypeScript are well on their way towards turning into C++

Be me, new dev on a team. Taking a look through source code to get up to speed.

Dev: **thinking to self** why is there no package lock.. let me bring this up to boss man

Dev: hey boss man, you’ve got no package lock, did we forget to commit it?

Manager: no I don’t like package locks.

Dev: ...why?

Manager: they fuck up computer. The project never ran with a package lock.

Dev: ..how will you make sure that every dev has the same packages while developing?

Manager: don’t worry, I’ve done this before, we haven’t had any issues.

**couple weeks goes by**

Dev: pushes code

Manager: hey your feature is not working on my machine

Dev: it’s working on mine, and the dev servers. Let’s take a look and see

**finds out he deletes his package lock every time he does npm install, so therefore he literally has the latest of like a 50 packages with no testing**

Dev: well you see you have some packages here that updates, and have broken some of the features.

Manager: >=|, fix it.

Dev: commit a working package lock so we’re all on the same.

Manager: just set the package version to whatever works.

Dev: okay

**more weeks go by**

Manager: why are we having so many issues between devs, why are things working on some computers and not others??? We can’t be having this it’s wasting time.

Dev: **takes a look at everyone’s packages** we all have different packages.

Manager: that’s it, no one can use Mac computers. You must use these windows computers, and you must install npm v6.0 and node v15.11. Everyone must have the same system and software install to guarantee we’re all on the same page

Dev: so can we also commit package lock so we’re all having the same packages as well?

Manager: No, package locks don’t work.

**few days go by**

Manager: GUYS WHY IS THE CODE DEPLOYING TO PRODUCTION NOT WORKING. IT WAS WORKING IN DEV

DEV: **looks at packages**, when the project was built on dev on 9/1 package x was on version 1.1, when it was approved and moved to prod on 9/3 package x was now on version 1.2 which was a change that broke our code.

Manager: CHANGE THE DEPLOYMENT SCRIPTS THEN. MAKE PROD RSYNC NODE_MODULES WITH DEV

Dev: okay

Manager: just trust me, I’ve been doing this for years

Who the fuck put this man in charge.

"compilerOptions": {
"strict": true
}

Debugging an old C module, committed (like a fucking crime) by some guy who really wants to show how uselessly complex stuff he could do... Fucking nightmare!
Last time I did this kind of job! If I had known his address I could have crippled him!!!

self explanitory

Did you solve the issue?

FUCK FLUTTER!!!

Who the hell wants to learn to program in dart, would rather learn php than learn an inutill, and complicated language that only works under Google frameworks. Also, a flutter app weighs twice as much as a app native and closes all the time. I hate Flutter and its community

#ReactNativeLover

What's the best part about TCP jokes? I get to keep telling them until you get them.

My apprentice is driving me nuts with his failed attempts on gold-plating.
The task "Get the data and export it to a file" becomes ""After many attempts to get the data via a different query than we worked out together I now finally got it and it makes sense if it was displayed but only one set of data at a time and it should also be selected what data should be exported and I have no idea how to do that so Cero, can you help me?".
Dang it dude, just show me for once that you can do 1 clearly decribed task, where you have many examples to work with, and NOT try to add any extras!

I am now working on how to tell him this in a nicer way...

Have you tried AI pair programming? 💨
~ GitHub copilot

When the interns mess up big time, good orgs support them. 😭💙