Respect ++

My debugging buddy 😁🦉

Person: Check out this “savage” file!

Me: Huh?

Person: *Shows SVG file*

🙄

Wow, the new devRant update looks cool

when you are working with many terminal in different servers, trying to figure out the problem, and after hours, you find out that you are working on the wrong terminal,😵

I lost motivation and focus on the company where I worked for 12 years.
And after 12 years I quit my job last week.
I'll work for a new company next month.
And I won't wait another 12y if I won't be satisfied or disrespected.
Never give up.

Still missing my devRant sticker...

Me: Mom, I'm learning a new programming language
Mom: How is it called
Me: go
Mom: do u like it?
Me: yes, it's pretty
Mom: do u like it more than linux?

Bad handwriting is the most effective encryption

I committed a bug fix that was about 4 lines changed but a full day of critical thinking.
The next day my boss tells me, that I clearly wasted company time and that I should be producing at least 200 lines of code a day. When will people learn that lines of code is not an accurate measurement of work accomplished?

There's a new kind of cache i didn't know about.

"Why was the promotion available on multiple accounts ? "
*suddenly realised there's an ID duplication among customers*
"Uhhh..... Family shares promotions."
"Nice job."

TFW you spend 30 minutes debugging an app that isn't working right only to find out it's working exactly as it's supposed you, you just forgot you put that bit in there that does that thing.

One character change later and it's working perfectly. ONE CHARACTER! THIRTY BASTARD MINUTES! I just spent thirty minutes driving through every line of code and coming closer to the conclusion that Java was doing some kind of strange thing with dropping objects from memory. No, it wasn't Java that had memory problems, it's me! Just check me into the old peoples home now so I can spend my day pissing my pants and making lewd comments at the nurses because that's all I'm fucking useful for at this point!!

I need a coffee.

An Editor who inserted a codesnippet when you presses ctrl + s

It made me so unbelievable angry, why would anyone do something that evil?

Friend: What's your favorite language?

Me: Javascript.

Friend: But it isn't a programming language.

Me: *throws keyboard at her face*

I did it boys, shes mine. 😃
Happy Valentines

My boss asked in a meeting if it is possible to make an algorithm/software without generating bugs.. After that my colleague send me this pic 😂

My productivity hack? Exercise.

It's amazing what a good workout can do after a long day of work. The stress just melts away and i sleep like a baby!! Ready to rock and roll the next day. 😎

schrodinger's backup

"Can you give me an estimate on how long it will take you to fix this bug?"

"That's like asking how long it will take to find my keys."

Biggest client uses IE10.

Programming is a superpower.

Why Diesel Python live in land?

Is just mine or every project manager thinks that developers are magicians and can actually develop stuff in a very unrealistic timeline.?

"The client has no idea what they want, just throw your best guess out there and let's see what they say" -- best project manager in the world

while(true) {
googleSomething();
try {
develop();
} catch(Exception e) {
stackOverFlow(e);
}
}

The struggle.

When the Tester is not at his Desk 😂

To the new devs: at least once a week, go for a walk outside

Fun fact:

The gradual speed increase in the descent pattern of the aliens in space invaders was actually a bug, due to the amount of aliens in the screen.

The more you kill, the faster they get.