I once worked until 8am to get a demo ready for a client of the client. I knew the client was a bit thick, so I made some comprehensive video demos and sent them over to him, to save him trying to demo it himself. I wake up at 11am with him screaming down the phone at me:

“It doesn’t work, none of it works!”

“What do you mean?”

“I go to login and I can’t enter anything.”

“I haven’t sent you anything to log into...wait, are you trying to log into a video? Tell me you’re not trying to log into a video of a login page.”

“Uh...oh hang on, it just worked. Ok no pr-“

“No wait, what do you mean it worked?”

“I logged in fine.”

“It’s a video. You can’t log into a video.”

“Uh...alright, bye mate, thanks!”

The moral of the story is: never assume any level of intelligence on the part of a client, even if they exhibit signs of it at first. If they are paying you they will forget how to tie their own shoelaces.

Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.

Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.

people will write an email but wont update JIRA ticket

They burn my eyes every time.

LOL.

client side validation ?

Wont happen

Manager (walking in in the morning): ey linuxxx, looking good today!
Me: w-what? I'm not wearing much special, what's so great about my outfit? But than....
Boss: April fools motherfucker!

Well, I had it coming .______.

Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?

Coworker: what!? No!

Me: yeah... I'm leaving.

Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...

Me: what is that supposed to mean!?

Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.

Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬

Co: God damnit.

Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.

Please contact your optician. Hahahahaha

So I work in IT for the police. I just received an "unneeded" encrypted smartphone.

I had to reconfigure it, in order to give it to the next policeman. Unfortunately nobody knew the password and there is actually no way to reset this damn thing.Trust me, i did my research.

About 2 days later i receive an angry call by the policeman that should be using the phone by now.

Policemen: "Why is my phone not ready yet?"
Me: "it's encrypted and nobody has the password."
Policemen: "Well just ask the previous owner then!"
Me:"It's a little difficult..."
Policemen: "Why?!?"
Me: "He shot himself."

Enter site

"U must disable adblock to use this site"

Ok adblock disabled

Refresh page

"CLICK HERE TO FUCK THIS FUCKIN HOT HENTAI BITCH IN THE PUSSY WITH HER BIG FUCKIN JUICY TITS AND BIG ASS AND EXPERIENCE THE BEST SEX VIRTUAL GAME OF YOUR LIFE IN THIS AD"

Me: *sends email 45 minutes before a meeting*.

Boss: *20 mins into meeting*, any updates about the issues found yesterday?

Me: Yep I sent an email with an update on everything.

Boss: ok great, *shares screen*, *opens email*.

Ok want to walk us through it?

Me: ...... walk through my email?

Boss: Yeah we have everyone here in the meeting.

Me: ...... yeah I included all of them on the email.

Boss: Right, but it would be good to go through it for everyone’s benefit.

Me: *Reads email word for word, from the screen share*

I will now refer to him from this day forth as “The Time Vampire”.

Also this

Logged in after approx 1.5 years. I want to be active here again! In the past 1.5 yr, I ...
- got married
- got a new MacBook
- moved to a new place
- got a new job
Wooooooo

When a full-stack developer credits the whole team

Not sure if I visited an ads website or a blog .-.

PM: By when can you do this?
Me: Monday
PM: Which monday?
Me: Exactly

Me coding last night 😅🍍

Was looking at a Back End Dev job posting and one of the requirements is Photoshop.

.....

PHOTOSHOP

Uber Crashes!!!!!!!

😂😂😂😂😂

Found that a bit funny.

Before you're hired:
1. A binary tree?
2. Currying?
3. Higher-order function?
4. How does event loop work?
5. What is prototype?
6. What is encapsulation?
7. Can you draw an algorithm?

After you're hired:
1. Hey, can you add auth token and login to our app?

True history... (I find in twitter)

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ (\__/)
   ⠀　 (•ㅅ•) my mentor defending
　＿ノ ヽ ノ＼ ＿ my code to the team
/　`/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ　ヽ
( 　(三ヽ人　 /　　 |
|　ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ　 ノ   
ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿_／
　 ｜( 王 ﾉ〈 (\__/)
　 /ﾐ`ー―彡 \ (•ㅅ•) me

I don't remember where did I found this, but there you go.

rofl 🤣

40% of AI start ups don't use AI.

Trying to explain what database is to non technical people/ non developer

True story

extra feature

Sorry, I just had to post this cable porn I found posted in some random subreddit.

Just look at those curves