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Skillsjs
Joined devRant on 10/11/2018
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Have you ever argue with a developer who:
+ have the same level as you
+ on the same position in the company
+ in the same team
+ OLDER than you
+ thinks their code is the best
A few years back, a coworker and I argue about how to implement a feature. I proposed an approach. He proposed a different one. I immediately saw some problems and told him. But hell no, he defended his idea so strongly that I just gave up since I will leave the company soon.
2 weeks later, when the sprint was about to end, the whole team had to work overtime to fix the mess because of his terrible approach.7 -
I was once called in by HR because i ended an email with an exclamation mark. I kid you not. She said i was being stand-offish and it was rude.
It has been almost 4 years since i left that company but i am still quite traumatized.16 -
text-align: center
Designer: “it’s not cantered, it’s 2px too much to the left”
Me: *does nothing* “what about now?”
Designer: “perfect”
Yup. This IS the Truman show.17 -
I hate it when software downloads an update
and then shuffles a notification up my face saying "An update has been downloaded and ready to install".
Just WTF is wrong with these developers! What if I say no then you just successfully wasted my fucking internet data and disk space. Thank you and no thank you idiots.1 -
!rant
I just cleaned a project in the repo and got the build size down to 4.7Mb from 6.2Mb. The feeling of ecstasy!!7 -
So apparently google doesn't give a fuck about your money. Yes I didn't use it right now, i purchased the dev account so I will be able to publish later when I need it and already used it in the past. How is it that they will close an account that you've payed for for inactivity?
ps.: Now I understand why has the play store full garbage apps. I will do that too...
pps: I know it's only 25$ but I still payed that to have access in the first place2 -
I just pressed CTRL + W to close a rant, but I was reading on my phone so I closed a browser tab on my computer instead.4
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I’ve been job hunting for a month with very few calls when I realised my resume didn’t have my phone number or my email.
I’ve been interviewing for half a decade.
Why yes, I am indeed retarded thanks for asking.7 -
”Are you planning on having kids in the near future?”
Literally (very) illegal to ask where I live. Too bad I was too young to understand the severity of him asking.
Worst place I’ve ever worked.8 -
This motherfucker tried to fuck me!
Ok, here's the full story.
I applied for a quick job as freelancer. He told me I just had to implement stripe payment gateway. After finishing that he asked to save the user data from payment to the database, too. I added that. All the way he wanted me to work on his ugly project on a rotten server through cpanel. But I refused instead I uploaded a showcase environment on my own server.
After he tested my code and all was working as expected he again tried to make me implement the code right away into his retarded project before payment. When I mentioned that he has to pay me first he started bitching that he won't pay in advance.
At this point I left that fucker. Knowing that my feeling was right and this bitch never had the intention to pay for my work. He just wanted to steel my code.
Fuck you. I hope you get eaten in your bed by very hungry slugs one day. Like this one guy here on devrant.19 -
Talking to my son today about one of his CS classes, not sure which.
He says: "I missed the lecture yesterday, but I'm not going to bother re-watching it."
Me: "Why? You really should. You're paying for these classes AND you really need to actually learn this stuff."
Son: "Well, because I got 100% on my last assignment without going to class. I just Google'd everything and figured it out on my own from what I found."
My wife out of the blue: "DAMN IT, BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS IN THE REAL WORK WORLD!"
Oh, you poor, uninformed summer child. I love her, but she just doesn't know that my son has already learned the key lesson he needed to learn from his schooling in order to get a job and make good money in this field! #ProudTechieDadMoments12 -
My mom died when I was 7, after which my dad bought me a Commodore 64 so I had something to lose myself in during the mourning process.
I learned everything about that system, from my first GOTO statement to sprite buffers, to soldering my own EPROM cartridges. My dad didn't deal with the loss so well, and became a missing person 5 years later when I was 12.
I got into foster care with a bunch of strict religious cultists who wouldn't allow electronics in the house.
So I ran away at 14, sub-rented a closet in a student apartment using my orphan benefits and bought a secondhand IBM computer. I spent about 16 hours a day learning about BSD and Linux, C, C++, Fortran, ADA, Haskell, Livescript and even more awful things like Visual Basic, ASP, Windows NT, and Active Directory.
I faked my ID (back then it was just a laminated sheet of paper), and got a job at 15-pretending-to-be-17 at one of the first ISPs in my country. I wrote the firmware and admin panel for their router, full of shitty CGI-bin ASP code and vulnerabilities.
That somehow got me into a job at Microsoft, building the MS Office language pack for my country, and as an official "conflict resolver" for their shitty version control system. Yes, they had fulltime people employed just to resolve VCS conflicts.
After that I worked at Arianespace (X-ray NDT, visualizing/tagging dicom scans, image recognition of faulty propellant tank welds), and after that I switched to biotech, first phytogenetics, then immunology, then pharmacokynetics.
In between I have grown & synthesized and sold large quantities of recreational drugs, taken care of some big felines, got a pilot license, taught IT at an elementary school, renovated a house, and procreated.
A lot of it was to prove myself to the world -- prove that a nearly-broke-orphan-high-school-dropout could succeed at life.
But hey, now I work for a "startup", so I guess I failed after all.23 -
My first rant. My very "african" dad just told me coding is for people who want an excuse to sit in front of a computer all day. An excuse for laziness.
it's funny coming from someone who never paid a single attention or gave me a single penny to support me 😪11 -
this is the state of hiring tests:
1. can you take an english sentence, and without a tutorial, write a for loop?
2. okay now write a full parser. but not in the language we want to hire you in.
also we can afford to pay you in bananas, experience, and exposure.
p.s. we also need you to do this backend test because this is a backend job even though the ad is for front end and you specified an hour ago when the interview started that you only trained for front.
on the positive side, we have a ping pong table and a bean bag chair. and a two hour commute. Think of the benefits!16 -
There is only one important rule to live by:
Never lend anyone your 256 GB USB-C/USB-B combo memory stick. There is a 100% scientifically-backed certainty that you will never, in your meager existence, see it again.11 -
Most memorable coworker? Definitely one of our devs in the first company I worked at. He was around fifty, quirky as fuck but damn knowledgeable about pretty much everything. Think some kind of uncle Iroh who could build his own compiler.
I haven't learned as much from university as I learned from our talks during smoking breaks. He never judged anyone for not knowing something (even really basic stuff) and was actually happy if he could help. Now, a few years later I still find myself applying techniques for conceptualizing software he explained to me on the balcony and I have to say I wouldn't be half the dev I am today if I'd have never met him so I guess that counts as memorable.3 -
"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
so many things happened this week.
First I told my colleague about torent :P she doesn't know what is it . Hope she enjoy much more content now :)
Second I was working with a client and she is herself a developer and she works like 24 hours. During lock-down she hardly slept for 4-5 hours and I came to know this week that she is 72 years old. I mean omfg in this age she is doing code and so much work :) that is indeed fucking awesome1 -
It’s official. I’m dating a girl.
She’s damn smart, tasteful, hot and really into tech.
Honest, talkative, a real keeper.
Studying IT-Security. Fuckkk I’m dropping spit out my mouth. ALL. DAY.20