Acting like the fool and fooling others is the best feeling

Boss: I wonder how the whole plan failed

Developer *thinking*: If only I could have told this to you weeks ago. Well, I knew you wouldn't listen. Your actions were clear. Your loss. Or maybe it kinda became my plan to fail the plan and it work worked. Idk, lol. Maybe next time don't categorise what I say as negative by asking me to frame it positively. I won't give any feedback then, especially critical feedback to improve

Person: Let's rub this lamp

* Genie comes out of the lamp *
Genie: You have three wishes. You know the rules. What do you want?

Person: Can you open this jar? It's so tight

Genie: What? That's it? That's a wish? Someone call an ambulance, I'm having a heart attack

PS: Now replace the Genie character with me and replace the person character with my manager. This is the kind of work I do at work and what my manager and leadership team asks of me

Career development conversation meeting starts

I'm supposed to be the one talking a lot and manager has to be quiet

But manager ended up spending a lot of time talking and trying to sell to me that my current role and work is helpful for me and gives me some experience

Just wow

I guess it's useless to talk to someone who doesn't wanna listen, who has made it clear with their actions that they don't wanna listen

The introverted and silent people can be heard in chats in video calls (zoom), can be heard in slack chats. But from my experience, it looks like the majority is yet to consider that as important. Text communication may not be perfect because it's hard to capture a lot in text, like emotions, tone, maybe some might be able to capture them if not all. But text is still something, rather than nothing, but I usually see people listen more to spoken words than care about texts. Not to mention the craziness of parallel conversations in text chat during video calls where video call has one conversation going on while text chat has a totally unrelated conversation going at some point. One could say - maybe parallel conversations in text chats are a hindrance to people trying to communicate over text rather than speak up through voice / audio

I used to love the hero treatment I got long ago in my previous company. Appreciations and what not for conducting events, contributing to open source. I think I burned out later. Later the hero treatment stopped there and I craved for it when I wasn't doing the stuff I used to do - basically I was previously keeping others happy I guess, instead of keeping myself happy. Contributing to open source or conducting events was not even part of the day job and was mostly considered outside the working hours and hence one had to stretch to do all that extra stuff. I over did stuff I guess and burned out

In my current company, I see heros and appreciations so much for contributing to open source though not all our roles are completely defined as open source roles and we instead have to work on closed source or yet to be open sourced stuff. My role is contributing a very tiiiiiny testing bit in an yet to be open sourced project, but a few other colleagues of mine work on closed source paid advanced version of the open source core project

Seeing all the hero treatment where I'm not the hero and seeing all the appreciation, I wonder how it doesn't seem right. Surely I'm jealous, lol. But I also felt the treatment also shows some sort of Special treatment for some people. It's "Special" and not exactly for all and only for open source contributors or people doing all the popularly so called as "cool" stuff. Fortunately for them their job role kinda mentions that I believe. And people working on closed source are now trying to contribute there. I'm stuck with some of my main day job work and dying in guilt for burning out, and not being able to contribute to open source and also kind of starting to hate open source for it's dark sides. Reminds me Batman dialogue "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.". Open Source dark sides - of course the possibile dark sides of companies funding open source, the people behind the companies and also of course my company being one of them possibly, though if you ask anyone they say "Community comes first". That's full of lies is what I would say.

Inclusivity gets thrown out the window. Heroes get to talk. Heroes get worshipped. Others are not even noticed I think. I guess the only way to get noticed is to imitate the heroes

At some point I realized I'm envying or idolizing a crazy set of people, or like putting them on a pedestal. I'm trying to fix that in my head. But oh my, you should see all the treatment, the respect, etc. Surely some people just are there to do meh or grunt work or even good work or whatever without much appreciation, and then have to move on. No respect or consideration for opinions, thoughts usually. Some of them don't even have the time to care to check what people have to say. Top down hierarchy but they say it's flat hierarchy. They don't even wanna listen to some of us I think, that is during team meetings. Only very few care from what I have noticed

One good thing is I have to come to realize how much I'm like them in some behaviours and feeling damn guilty. I sometimes spend time thinking how to change myself for the long term. And how to avoid the toxic behaviors in the team and also control my anger and control my response to their behaviours. I'm also trying to understand where I'm climbing the ladder with my assumptions and also trying to see the "real" thing instead of assuming or being blind or imagining etc. But it has become so hard because idk if people are faking it, it's become very hard to always assume people are telling the truth 🙈 though it makes to assume or believe that by default. If people are okay with themselves lying, who am I question that huh

Management: "Let's hire some folks and expand the team in this region. And then we will think about what they will exactly do. And then get more work or create more work with our own vision"

Hired developers *mind*: "Why the fuck is this small work done by such a big team? Why the fuck is this work done by a my team (different team) and not by the same team that built the product? Oh, they don't have bandwidth? They want to parallelize? And all decisions still have to go through the product team? They have months of experience and context? Right"

Kubernetes this. Kubernetes that. New tech this. New tech that. Let's ask developers to spend all their time on learning everything instead of concentrating on the fucking business problem that's no where related to Kubernetes or any fucking specific technology for many companies

Finally pushed all review changes to that GitHub Pull Request of mine that had been open for months!

Hopefully it will get reviewed soon with possibly very minimal to 0 changes and then merged!!! :D

I mean. People love Docker and Kubernetes? Really? I mean, I agree it's good. I'm just wishing if people demanded for better and simple software and not complicated stuff. Idk

Common Man: How do you software developers earn so much? What's the secret of your success?
Software Developer: It's not a secret really. It's like any other job, we make sure we are always needed. So we create a mess and then get paid to solve the mess. How you ask? Software developers create the most complex and useful software. Since it's complex, others learn it and become part of the so called the few experts and then get paid tons as very less experts are there for the software and the creators of the software are also of course experts and in fact considered Guru, because, well, they wrote the complex software. They are geniuses, because it's so hard to write complex software. And many of these experts also create new tools to make the software easier to use, for newbies. They also write articles around it - explanations, tutorials, inner workings and gotchas, and also publish books and videos - in paid tutorial sites, and some videos on YouTube too.

DAMN I wish software was easy and simple! It's fucking hard a lot of times. Fucking complex. All those guys who make it more complex - Fuck you all!!