Testing my System ..?

"There are different types of crack"
- My IT professor addressing software piracy and drugs at the same time

HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.

That moment when you are the person who caused someone else's rant ...... :/

I encrypt passwords with Base64

They chose mine! THEY CHOSE MINE!

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Another error, another long conversation. Hello again, ol' friend 😎

When you want to be a godly programmer but all you do on your free time is watch movies and porn. :(

Business logic in the fricking database.

1000+ line SQL stored procedures.

What the actual fuck?! 👿

DavRant is my new reddit