Every last 10 days of the year we have a break...

I'm just gonna implement CI/CD in this motherfucking environment and blow everyone's mind at January, I'm sick of working as an amateur...

That's totally relatable. What say devs??

I have an array of 1037 records. The soap service only accepts 100 at a time. So, I write code to send an array of 100 records at a time to the soap service in a loop and get a response back of, "The maximum number (100) of records allowed for this operation has been exceeded." Well, I'll try 99 records then. Nope same error. I'll try 50 records, nope I'll just bang my head on the desk now since the documentation and error say it is a record limit of 100. 😠

Look at my code again. I was grabbing 100 records out of the array of 1037 records and storing it in a new array, but I was sending the original array with 1037 records instead of the temporary array in the loop. 😢 I'm going to bed.

Good morning everyone. May your phone battery always be above 50%.

What we have to deal with.

Machine Learning

You know what I hate? When people don't listen to me.
You know what I love? When shit blows up in their faces because they didn't listen to me

😁😁..

Good game Steam! Error displaying this error message.

I dont know to laugh or cry

I played a lot of Command & Conquer when I was younger, and I remember going through the files for C&C: Red Alert. I found one that had all the units names and properties, and wondered what happened if I changed a value. So I changed grenadiers attack speed to something ridiculously fast, and found that it actually changed it in the game!

The light bulb went off in my head, and I then created new units:
- Albert Einstein that shot electricity
- Attack dogs that launched missiles

Granted the animations didn't exist for these so it defaulted to playing their death animations when attacking, which was amusing.

That was the ah-ha moment for me that lead me to pursue programming. It was just so much fun!

When you come to work eager to code, and the whole day goes to trying and failing to fix some network shit -_-

Best order number ever

Me: *poking my girlfriend
Her: *the look of pure hatred in her eyes
Me: remember you can't break these fingers. These fingers are the reason we have money
Her: *groans* Yeah, you're right

This makes me consider changing career paths.

Daayum. Just tried to like a Facebook post by double tapping on it. :/

I just realized that agile and fragile are very close...

FUCK MY BOSS WHEN HE SAYS HE DIDNT SEE ANY UI CHANGES AFTER NOT SLEEPING FOR 24HRS TO GET THE ENTIRE BACKEND REWRITE DONE. I WENT OVER THE ACTUAL CHANGES WITH HIM 100 FUCKING TIMES! I GET THIS MESSAGE AFTER FINALLY GRABBING SOME FOOD "What did you do, you said you were going to work on the site??" FUCKFUCKITYFUCKFUCK!!! FUCK YOUR MONEY AND YOUR JOB!!!! AND WHILE IM AT IT FUCK WEBDEV!!! 🖕FUCK YOU GUYS🖕 IM GOING HOME

/rant Thank God for devRant

<table> ftw

So my Product Manager girlfriend just said, "I have a great idea for an app that people will really want. Can you build it for me?". She did not see the irony

Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*

Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.

Web developers - if you can write code to tell me that my phone number or credit card number shouldn't have spaces in it, just remove the #$!@$!* spaces for me FFS! You know very well people are going to put the spaces in there...