Heard this recently:
JS always make me wanna say Fuck this shit! But I can never be sure what this refers to!

My best coworker is ReSharper. Thank you, JetBrains.

Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

myself. Great guy.

My manager started a company and I was his first employee, he literally started it because he wanted to make use of my talent.

So one day I finished my project on Friday and took in advance Monday and Tuesday off. Went back Wednesday to find my manager angry like "you didn't finish your project, you costed us money with our client company (a big ass famous one) I am putting you on probation and you could probably get fired if you don't get yourself together" and he said that my colleague had to do my whole work that I supposedly didn't do.
So I went to the code and checked. And I found that what my colleague did was re write my code in a different structure and pretended like he did everything and did do anything.
Got passed off so I wrote an email to my manager with the commits and links to them and their builds and made sure it's well explained, and titled the email "resignation letter" with me expressing at the end how angry I am and informing about my resignation.
Later on he replied saying it was a misunderstanding and there was lack of communication and he could give me I raise.
I insisted.
One week later I got hired by the client company and suddenly I was sitting on the other side of the meeting table. And it felt so damn good.

According to my predecessor, nothing showcases your SQL skills quite like generating the entire page (markup, JavaScript and all) from a single 2500 line query.

RANT: This one might be a repost and we might not even know.

RANT II: It took me 2 hours to find similar issue for two reasons.. Java and a dumbass motherfucker dev that named functions "mcf"/"MyFold"/"HelpingMeMaking" and was to dumb to make it OP.