Details
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SkillsPHP, Laravel, WHMCS, MySQL, Docker, Kubernetes.
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LocationDenmark
Joined devRant on 10/23/2017
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Hey Citrix:
How about if my account is locked, you give me an error saying "my account is locked" and not "incorrect username and password"
SO I CAN KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO TO FIX THE ISSUE YOU JACKASSES.4 -
My bf learning a programming language I already know. Him frustrated with it not working. Me in the same room watching anime. His mom calls. I go over and see if I can figure out what's not working while he's in the phone. He was trying to run from command line and wasn't in the right folder 😆7
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Found my spiritual animal:
- a cat
- Russian
- engineer
- smokes
- looks like he went through some shit
5 -
Insecure... My laptop disk is encrypted, but I'm using a fairly weak password. 🤔
Oh, you mean psychological.
Working at a startup in crisis time. Might lose my job if the company goes under.
I'm a Tech lead, Senior Backender, DB admin, Debugger, Solutions Architect, PR reviewer.
In practice, that means zero portfolio. Truth be told, I can sniff out issues with your code, but can't code features for shit. I really just don't have the patience to actually BUILD things.
I'm pretty much the town fool who angrily yells at managers for being dumb, rolls his eyes when he finds hacky code, then disappears into his cave to repair and refactor the mess other people made.
I totally suck at interviews, unless the interviewer really loves comparing Haskell's & Rust's type systems, or something equally useless.
I'm grumpy, hedonistic and brutally straight forward. Some coworkers call me "refreshing" and "direct but reasonable", others "barely tolerable" or even "fundamentally unlikable".
I'm not sure if they actually mean it, or are just messing with me, but by noon I'm either too deep into code, or too much under influence of cognac & LSD, wearing too little clothing, having interesting conversations WITH instead of AT the coffee machine, to still care about what other humans think.
There have been moments where I coded for 72 hours straight to fix a severe issue, and I would take a bullet to save this company from going under... But there have also been days where I called my boss a "A malicious tumor, slowly infecting all departments and draining the life out of the company with his cancerous ideas" — to his face.
I count myself lucky to still have a very well paying job, where many others are struggling to pay bills or have lost their income completely.
But I realize I'm really not that easy to work with... Over time, I've recruited a team of compatible psychopaths and misfits, from a Ukranian ex-military explosives expert & brilliant DB admin to a Nigerian crossfitting gay autist devops weeb, to a tiny alcoholic French machine learning fanatic, to the paranoid "how much keef is there in my beard" architecture lead who is convinced covid-19 is linked to the disappearance of MH370 and looks like he bathes in pig manure.
So... I would really hate to ever have to look for a new employer.
I would really hate to ever lose my protective human meat shield... I mean, my "team".
I feel like, despite having worked to get my Karma deep into the red by calling people all kinds of rude things, things are really quite sweet for me.
I'm fucking terrified that this peak could be temporary, that there's a giant ravine waiting for me, to remind me that life is a ruthless bitch and that all the good things were totally undeserved.
Ah well, might as well stay in character...
*taunts fate with a raised middlefinger*13 -
Is it just me sleeping 10+ hours in this covid times and still having problems getting out of bed and concentrating? 🤔28
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Have interview in 1 hour
*Quacking calmly*
Tests webcam, mic, connection
*Quacking softer*
Open meeting app to set everything up
Windows: I think not. Pereificus Totalus!!
*Quacking intensifies*
Why do companies use these random new wave of meeting apps instead of the tried and true ones!!4 -
Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.
Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.14 -
Searching syntax of for loop every time I use it for a language I have been using for the last 5 years is normal.
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Some days I get bored with programming and I think I have no talent and I wish I had a different job. But someday I love programming and I want to code all day.
Is it normal? Do you have these mix feelings?7 -
I sometimes correct people's PRs from under the shower or from the toilet, but my favorite place to code are in the dune forests (Netherlands).
Most unusual place would be operating room at the hospital though, getting my leg/foot bugfixed after a car accident. I asked the surgeon if it was OK if I brought my phone in, to distract myself, so I went through some code cleanup tasks.3 -
Me: *Adding finishing touches on my project*
Also me: *Adding more small features to the project*
I want it to be done but I can’t stop thinking of quality of life features3 -
DevRant is not “9GAG for developers”. Stop putting your shitty jokes into rant section. There is a “joke” section to quarantine you people.
Tired of seeing “Trust me i am engineer” facebook group types jokes...17 -
The first time I realized I wasn't as good as I thought I was when I met the smartest dev I've ever known (to this day).
I was hired to manage his team but was just immediately floored by the sheer knowledge and skills this guy displayed.
I started to wonder why they hired outside of the team instead of promoting him when I found that he just didn't mesh well with others.
He was very blunt about everything he says. Especially when it comes to code reviews. Man, he did /not/ mince words. And, of course, everyone took this as him just being an asshole.
But being an expert asshole myself, I could tell he wasn't really trying to be one and he was just quirky. He was really good and I really liked hanging out with him. I learned A LOT of things.
Can you imagine coming into a lead position, with years of experience in the role backing your confidence and then be told that your code is bad and then, systematically, very precisely, and very clearly be told why? That shit is humbling.
But it was the good kind of humbling, you know? I really liked that I had someone who could actually teach me new things.
So we hung out a lot and later on I got to meet his daughter and wife who told me that he had slight autism which is why he talked the way he did. He simply doesn't know how to talk any other way.
I explained it to the rest of the team (after getting permission) and once they understood that they started to take his criticism more seriously. He also started to learn to be less harsh with his words.
We developed some really nice friendships and our team was becoming a little family.
Year and a half later I had to leave the company for personal reasons. But before I did I convinced our boss to get him to replace me. The team was behind him now and he easily handled it like a pro.
That was 5 years ago. I moved out of the city, moved back, and got a job at another company.
Four months ago, he called me up and said he had three reasons for us to meet up.
1. He was making me god father of his new baby boy
2. That they created a new position for him at the company; VP of Engineering
and
3. He wanted to hang out
So we did and turns out he had a 4th reason; He had a nice job offer for me.
I'm telling this story now because I wanted to remind everyone of the lesson that every mainstream anime tells us:
Never underestimate the power of friendship.21 -
I just met a whole new level of obnoxious scam mail: Google calendar invites. WTH. You can't even block it.7
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App developers, the fastest way for me to uninstall your application is for you to start sending push notifications for things that are completely unnecessary. They won't remind me to use the app. They'll remind me to uninstall it.12
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Just found out that our no-reply mail is having a conversation with another autoreply! Turns out that it's autoreply that's supposed to tell people to stop writing is autoreplying to a customers autoreply. Haha...6
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HOLY FUCK I DID IT
I wrote an Arduino code for my friend. I didn't have any board at the moment to test it, but he flashed it the next day, and EVERYTHING FUCKING WORKED!!! AT THE FIRST TIME!!!10 -
StackOverflow's mouse cursor effect is exponentially decreasing my productivity as I go through the day.
I can't stop watching it.2
