....You can now save images on mobile... THANK YOU @dfox <3

‘Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.’

Edward V. Berard
(Google Guice)

someone pushes code and breaks ci.
me: you broke the build
her: (ignoring the explicit error message) it works on my machine, travis is broken
me: it doesn't even work on my machine!
her: I forgot to push one file, sorry.

Client A: "I understand that we need to extend the due date for the project, but why we need pay extra for that?"

Me: "Because my people and I need money to survive as well...."

The whole family

True?

Respect..

Bae: come over
Me: can't, tests are failing
Bae: Flatmates aren't home
Me:

My wife and I just went Pokemon hunting in the park. Never thought I'd say that

When you look back at the code you wrote year(s) back! 😂😂

Manager cracks a joke, everyone in the team laughs except one guy.
Manager : Didn't you understand the joke ?
The guy replies : I resigned yesterday

My last girlfriend was a Linked List. It was easy to get head but getting tail required serious effort.

I was asked to map a mathematical problem to an algorithm for first round of interview. I did it in 5 lines with O(n) and it worked. was told that was not the correct answer sent me an answer with O(n^2) and about 40 lines. in anger, I sent a five page mathematical proof along with analysis why mine was better. surprisingly, they took me in for second round. tanked it because I continually stuttered and froze. I was able to answer it once I got home. decided against sending it.

Hey no judgement 😂😂

My job is so f**king unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

When you laugh at a devRant post and the non-tech 50 year-old woman next to you finds out your good with computers. And then she asks you to delete her porn history... Awkward

I hate devRant. Since morning I am suffering from diarrhoea and vomiting. My stomach aches bad and I have a complete bed rest. I had nothing good to do, so I went through the play store searching for new apps. I came across devRant which seem interesting to me. I downloaded and went through the app. I read posts straight for four hours and couldn't resist LMAO. I've been constantly laughing (literally constantly) and now my stomach aches so bad. Its 22:00 and I fear I might have to catch a doctor soon. I know devRant is the culprit and yet I have it open, in my phone, typing a useless non-humorous post. Freaking addictive. Ah my stomach..

Give le one +1 or I will use Windows.

There you go
😂😂😂

When the pm learns how F12 and use Google console to change HTML style, for example the color of the font.

He proclaims produly to everyone, I can code like you guys now.

To all grammar freaks 😝

I was working on a nodejs project and this fella came to me.
He: Hey, I want to learn JS, how much time is it gonna take me get onto it?
Me: You know Java?
He: Yh :) I know java pretty good!
Me: Well, its gonna take forever thn..

Password requirements these days :|

when a devrant api is finally released, could you please name it rantApi?

Some days I feel like drinking to forget the bad legacy code Ive seen.