I never want to do another SSRS report ever again... It’s mind numbing and tedious and crashes visual studio more than it builds. And yet, there are always more to do. Always... I swear I’m going to drown in all the paper. Queries aren’t bad but seriously, can’t go an hour without something crashing itself.

I've a question. Has anyone in here ever be forced to use something as remotely frustrating as SQL Server Reporting Services (ssrs)? I swear it is one of the most convoluted piece of shit ever.

Having developer skills comes sometimes in handy in certain situations.

In my case I visited a new website but first I had to choose their cookies.. but.. it was a list of about 150 radio buttons (150 advertisers), I shit you not.
And so I was like: "No, I refuse to click each one of them". I kept thinking.. hm.. how am I going to do a mass-toggle-off? And then it hit me: if the button "toggle all" toggles all buttons.. then that means if I invert the logic of the call, it means I will turn them all off! And it worked.. it was something like: "toggleAll(!-1)" and I did "toggleAll(0)".

That sure saved me some time! Oh yeah and there are of course other situations when you don't want to use a scraper for getting all the;. I don't know.. menu links out of a page. Console > import jQuery > select all elements with 'a' and text() on their DOM node! It can be done with native JavaScript as well document.getElementsById() but yeah, there are plenty of examples.

Hooray for being a developer!

For those considering a job in Software Development ...

Why some leaders are afraid of changes. Everything in the world change and adapt to the trend of responsibly remote working. We must count the productivity and not the negative impact of envious people that all they can do is sit down and pretending to be busy. We all know that the first step of success is to accept change.

I just finished upgrading a dotnet core 2.2 WebApi + Console App to dotnet core 3.1 and it was a very smooth process with very minor changes to my code.

Not a rant, just posting because it is the first nice thing that has happened for me in a while now.

100%

Someone had to do it

Find another job before February.
Try not to lose it in 2 weeks.

FUCK OPEN OFFICE ENVIRONMENTS
FUCKING GOD DAMN

Let's build a house with no blueprint, no idea how it should look but have daily meetings about the bathroom... #Scrum

You think you know agile? Which of the following is the most useless? Sort them in an ascending way (where 5 brings the most value) :

1) Product Owner
2) Project Coordinator
3) Project Lead
4) Front office
5) the cleaning lady

So it happened that a roll of my office chair broke. Since the ordering process in our company is a nightmare and takes forever AND my employer is too cheap to buy enough adequate replacement, I had to draw and print a spare part myself...

For the love of God use descriptive variable names. I dont care if it is 15 characters long instead of 5. Besides any halfway modern IDE does auto completion.

"tTime" is not helpful. Target time? Test time? Total time? Tea time? Turtle Timmy? No clue...

Ah, PHP's misleading function names.

Fuck Mondays. Mondays should be declared a public holiday.

Killed!

Finally getting confident in the worst part of fullstack: frontend

...and getting better at doing devops

I arrived at 8am sharp today, SHARP, I usually arrive 2-3min earlier, so I can start with my actual work at 8am sharp, but traffic was rough and my scooter wouldn't turn on, so I wasn't able to.
Suddenly my boss calls me into his office, being all like "you are late everyday, you won't start work until 5 after 8 yadayada". Wtf?? You know I have a clock on my desk and I always check the clock when I'm arriving at work? (He has security cameras everywhere, so he can actually see me check the clock every morning). This morning I arrived at 8am sharp and the only reason why I started with work late is because he thought it's necessary to remind me to be at work in time. Now he expects me to start with work 5min early everyday, fuck off!

So many interruptions!
So many distractions!

I just want to fucking finish this refactor. I dont' care about meetings, texts, bloody office game tournaments, lunchtime, gossip, or people trying to be friendly. Just let me fucking work!

If you see me rocking out with my headphones on and working furiously, seriously, just don't fucking interrupt. I'll bite.

I'm seeing my baby son tomorrow

Interview.

X: So, do you have any weaknesses?
Y: Yes, I'm very honest.
X: But I don't think that's a weakness
Y: I don't give a fuck what you think

The worst of Agile and Sc(r)um: All those people knowing the right way(™) to do it. Endless discussion about useless tooling: the proper use of the custom workflow in Jira, on when and how to create sub tickets. The hour-less meta-discussions on what should be discussed where and when (what's subject of the backlog refinement, retro, etc), the roles: the PO's, what he should do, cannot, the PM's. Who is allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint or not. How many reviewers need to acknowledge a pull request. To and fro. Pointless, but fought with heart and blood, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

And everywhere I hear: "In my previous company, we did Scrum like.. and it worked perfectly!"

Some of you might remember my rants on Mr. Gitmaster, with whom I thought I'd made my peace. Guess what? He's now a team member and turning into Mr. Agile - a more severe reincarnation! As our company starts flogging that dead horse of Agility, he seems to feel strong tailwind. Our team lead would constantly cut his monologues, but he's now on holiday, so we have no escape from the never ending: "In my previous company..."

If it was so great, why didn't you stay?

We are not allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint unless every team member is notified? I don't fucking care. If our software fails on customer's machines and I can fix it, I will do if there is a ticket, if it's in the sprint or not. Screw Scrum, if it is getting in the way of it. You can waste your hours discussing horseshit, I want to sit at my desk, deep in the test-compile loop and ship some fucking code.

Hold a meeting that the participants actually want.

The biggest time wasters I had to attend were:
- "generic weekly meet up of people not working together telling what's new on their side" (I don't work with you, I DON'T CARE)
- "management wants updates/wants to talk about doing instead of letting us do" (go read Jira tickets, and ffs stay out of the experts' field... They're experts in it for a reason)
- "no agenda, this is just to get to know each other" (I get to know people on my own terms, stop forcing what can't be forced)
- most Scrum meetings (some people need guidance, I don't! Your Scrum chains actually hinder my productivity! Can we please stop wasting my time and nerves?)

And the best meetings? A couple of coworkers realizing "hey we need to make a decision here, let's book a conference room together" and "hey you know your stuff about xyz, can you teach us what you know?".

~During app demo to our client~

- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙

Reddit.js

My first actual rant on devRant:

Fuck corporate companies. Fuck agile development.

In the last 8 months I’ve been with this company, I’ve 1) made the app layout (which was super fucked) compatible with iPad. 2) reduced the apps size by 1/3 of the original size. 3) improved memory usage by double the efficiency, nearly eliminated all memory leaks. 4) gotten employee of the quarter for some of the above mentioned.

After all of this I got a talking to from product manager that “he knows I am a good developer but needs more consistency” after I spent a sprint on one story trying to consolidate front end validation logic and make a “validatableTextField” actually do some validation. So much for the MVVM you promised me.

Also, was promised I’d get some experience with Android, and with a team of 8 devs 6 of which have droid backgrounds and other two are juniors, guess whose only even built the droid project once in 8 months? You guessed it. This company has drained me of all of my knowledge, went against most of its promises to me, and values pushing features to the point of adding tech debt faster than I can solve it.

Unfortunately my personal life relies on this job or I’d quit right away. But you bet your ass I’m passively looking for something and I can’t wait till I get a job offer and quit on these ungrateful hypocrites.

Why😂😂😂😂

Scrum. And agile. And people over-communicating. And estimating work complexity on a prototype. And people in general. I like nights, when all annoying people just shut the fuck up and sleep.

Who the Fuck Came up with "SCRUM MEETINGS"