Details
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AboutSwiss CS student about to graduate and be thrown in the dark, cold world of corporate IT
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SkillsHTML, CSS, PHP, JS, Angular Java, C, Bash, Python
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LocationSwitzerland
Joined devRant on 3/16/2018
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I fucking hate when my project manger makes me do demos on sprint reviews. I have enough fucking things to focus on. I don’t need this extra pressure. Fuck this. I hate public speaking. He thinks that it helps me to grow. Fuck him. 😒😒😒😒3
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Come on, throw ANY foreign library or package at me, and I dare you, I double dare you mf, I'll turn your life into a shitshow!
~ Every frickin IDE ever -
TL;DR: If you're an Android user, do yourself a favour and check out https://simplemobiletools.com/ . You're welcome.
Dear diary, today was a good day.
A small part of my faith in humanity was recovered after I found about Tibor Kaputa.
Apparently, this guy - like many of us - was fed up with the bloat, bugs, bullshit and 'features' of many of the stock Android apps that come preinstalled on most phones. And so, he decided to make his own.
Unlike most of us however, he actually pulled through. And then he made them open source.
No bullshit permission requirements.
No ads or tracking.
Custom themes.
And no, not just 'toggle white/dark mode', I'm talking 'pick your own color scheme', both within the app and for the app icon (!).
And then sync your colour scheme across the entire suite of apps (!!).
Simple UI, with a lot of customizable settings.
And if you get them from f-droid, it's all completely free as in BEER too!
I've spent a lot of time in the last year trying to find software that does what it's supposed to do well, without trying to pull any sneaky bullshit in the background or annoy me with crap that I don't care about in a miserable attempt to show off its useless features.
I'm not a fan of Medium myself either, but the author's article about how his suite of apps was born really resonated with me. If you care about privacy, open source software, and doing things right, you should really give it a read: https://medium.com/@tibbi/...
I'm particularly a fan of the Gallery, the File Manager, and the Music player apps, and the others don't look half bad either.11 -
~During app demo to our client~
- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙13 -
If you haven't seen the video instructions for how to factory reset GE's smart light bulbs.
STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WATCH: https://youtube.com/watch/...
Theres also a twitter thread about this which includes screenshots of their instructions on how to count 2 seconds: https://twitter.com/NumbersMuncher/...
This is what happens when you hire a product manager with no experience and put them in charge of engineering, design, UX (who we kidding they def don't have one of these) etc. This is just magical16 -
I've found and fixed any kind of "bad bug" I can think of over my career from allowing negative financial transfers to weird platform specific behaviour, here are a few of the more interesting ones that come to mind...
#1 - Most expensive lesson learned
Almost 10 years ago (while learning to code) I wrote a loyalty card system that ended up going national. Fast forward 2 years and by some miracle the system still worked and had services running on 500+ POS servers in large retail stores uploading thousands of transactions each second - due to this increased traffic to stay ahead of any trouble we decided to add a loadbalancer to our backend.
This was simply a matter of re-assigning the IP and would cause 10-15 minutes of downtime (for the first time ever), we made the switch and everything seemed perfect. Too perfect...
After 10 minutes every phone in the office started going beserk - calls where coming in about store servers irreparably crashing all over the country taking all the tills offline and forcing them to close doors midday. It was bad and we couldn't conceive how it could possibly be us or our software to blame.
Turns out we made the local service write any web service errors to a log file upon failure for debugging purposes before retrying - a perfectly sensible thing to do if I hadn't forgotten to check the size of or clear the log file. In about 15 minutes of downtime each stores error log proceeded to grow and consume every available byte of HD space before crashing windows.
#2 - Hardest to find
This was a true "Nessie" bug.. We had a single codebase powering a few hundred sites. Every now and then at some point the web server would spontaneously die and vommit a bunch of sql statements and sensitive data back to the user causing huge concern but I could never remotely replicate the behaviour - until 4 years later it happened to one of our support staff and I could pull out their network & session info.
Turns out years back when the server was first setup each domain was added as an individual "Site" on IIS but shared the same root directory and hence the same session path. It would have remained unnoticed if we had not grown but as our traffic increased ever so often 2 users of different sites would end up sharing a session id causing the server to promptly implode on itself.
#3 - Most elegant fix
Same bastard IIS server as #2. Codebase was the most unsecure unstable travesty I've ever worked with - sql injection vuns in EVERY URL, sql statements stored in COOKIES... this thing was irreparably fucked up but had to stay online until it could be replaced. Basically every other day it got hit by bots ended up sending bluepill spam or mining shitcoin and I would simply delete the instance and recreate it in a semi un-compromised state which was an acceptable solution for the business for uptime... until we we're DDOS'ed for 5 days straight.
My hands were tied and there was no way to mitigate it except for stopping individual sites as they came under attack and starting them after it subsided... (for some reason they seemed to be targeting by domain instead of ip). After 3 days of doing this manually I was given the go ahead to use any resources necessary to make it stop and especially since it was IIS6 I had no fucking clue where to start.
So I stuck to what I knew and deployed a $5 vm running an Nginx reverse proxy with heavy caching and rate limiting linked to a custom fail2ban plugin in in front of the insecure server. The attacks died instantly, the server sped up 10x and was never compromised by bots again (presumably since they got back a linux user agent). To this day I marvel at this miracle $5 fix.1 -
So re-installed linux on my PC while I had the time only to discover that my windows installation had installed it's boot manager onto the linux installs hard drive... So of course it all got deleted and I can't access my windows partition because I can't get linux to create a bootable windows drive...
Today is just fucking great isn't it .-.9 -
Just got a ticket reassigned to me from another employee leaving the company. The "Days to Due Date" field says -964.
It's for a very simple task that takes max 2 hours. Contacted the guy who created the ticket and it's still needed.
Excuse me what the fuck.4 -
Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.
Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.
Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)
Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).
These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.
Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".
The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.
What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?
Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.
Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.
But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.
So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.
On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.
In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.
This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.23 -
Beta version... only devs have access
Screen for a not-ready-yet feature:
A nice image of a faded broken structure, underlined with a "Work in progress" text.
Primary button below "I want it now"
/clicks button
next to the button, a text fades in:
"Please, be patient"
You keep clicking "I want it now", after a few clicks you get "Plese, be **very** patient"
/Checks the source code
it bloody adds a "very" for every 5 clicks and calls an API to send you an email for every 5 clicks:
Thanks for very {n times very} much wanting {feature name}
11 clicks = 3 emails with very, very very and very very very
Yep, I am patient now, especially if I get my hands on you...3 -
Found a random website that lets you design your own anime avatars, its quite in depth and there are many art styles from different artists available:
Pros:
* It's comprehensive, and it has a lot of styles available
* Editor is intuitive and Modern
Cons:
* It's in Japanese, you might wanna use GTranslate.
* Randomizer fucks up on some of the more in-depth art styles.
* Seems to be mobile-exclusive design for the editor.
You can check it out here: https://picrew.me
Here's a little sample from picrew on the Gorilla Art style
(Note: this is actually my GitHub avatar as well)18 -
"The customer reports that port 21 is closed on our FTP site. They said that port 443 is open, and wonder if they can use that instead."
"They are entering the wrong server name. Our FTP server is ONLY an FTP server. Port 443 is not open on our FTP server.
Please verify that they are entering `ftp.xxxxxx.com`
Our FTP site supports FTP/SSL if they are concerned about security."
"Customer responds that they would rather use port 443 to send files."
"I'm sure they would. I'd also like to enter our building on the west side when the temperature is below 10º, but there are no doors on the west side, so that's not going to happen, is it?"2 -
saying git is shit (cite at the end) and nobody professional uses it.
cite:
"GIT ist scheisse, es ist schwer zu installieren und man muss die Kommandozeile benutzen. Das benutzt doch niemand."26 -
From the Gods of The Stack Overflow for the pesants of the community:
https://goalkicker.com
Just go there. This is everything you have to know, ever.56 -
https://github.com/deeppomf/...
Github's top trending repo today is a deep learning tool that decensores hentai.4 -
This isn't my own creation, but I couldn't find it shared here yet.
It is a poem:
< > ! * ' ' #
^ " ` $ $ -
! * = @ $ _
% * < > ~ # 4
& [ ] . . /
| { , , SYSTEM HALTED
It reads as:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH!6 -
So... I wanted to share something I made this weekend... 😁😁
Made an ls program which includes colors and icons! It is a work in progress and probably contains some bugs here and there, but I really wanted to share with you all.
The happiest thing to me about it is that I made it in pure C and had a blast creating it! It’s my first actual C project and it also made me realize that there is probably no language I can love more than C.
Take look if you are interested and tell me how it is 😊 suggestions and fixes are more than welcome 😁
https://github.com/Electrux/...
Just wanted to share the experience. Have a good day everyone! 😁33