So our lift has only two buttons

* get stuck on a problem
* being depressed
* post a question on stackoverflow
* the question get downvoted
* now I am sad and depressed

Kids, dont try this at home.

[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *CLICK*

A.K.A terminal russian roulette.

I saw this and thought "Wow, only one ++ away from 10,000!"

Dear Chrome,

I know it's ridiculous to have 50+ tabs open, but please - pretty please - just make it work for me. 300 MB/tab is starting to make Windows mad.

No, I will not close them. I might need that page I opened 4 months ago and was too lazy to bookmark.

Your abusive friend,

-chappjc

My boss: "I have an idea for a very important update that we should push to all our apps ASAP."
Me: "I'm not adding a Santa hat to the icons."
My Boss: "............... Carry on"

When it's time to go into evil mode

The world will remain fucked up until the moment when backend devs will get as much credit as front end. Backend devs unite! All servers down so they can see who has real power!

Worst hackathon experience? Probably that I have never attended one.

I just wanted some water :(

That's the real difference!

You can kill me, but you can't made me to speak with this guuuyyy 😐😒

Useless machine.
.... I want one

A bug a day keeps ego away.

bro everything isn't ok

This happened a while ago but I till remember it. I'm an Intern within a nice company where everything is open (one big ass room):

Designer: bob
Salesman: peter
(Random names)

Bob: Hey peter, these PDF files you got from the client are corrupt, could you ask him for good versions?
Peter: [on the phone with PDF client coincidentally] Sir, the pdf's you send are corrupt according to our designer.
.............…….............................................
He says that it must be you using a weird operating system.
Bob: Hey dude (me), could you check?
Me: Sure (checked on my Linux, corrupt indeed), yup deffo corrupt or something.
Peter: [on phone] Sir, they really seem to be corrupt. [Talking on phone] He says it must be your operating systems, can it be that your systems are fucking this up?
Me and bob: Highly unlikely!
Peter to client: Dear sir, I've got two very competent professionals here who say you are not right and the document is simply corrupt and I'm definitely going to trust them on this one so may I kindly request a new version!

He is a great salesman!

Report to who?

Freelancing sucks. "A good developer told me this should take a couple hours." Or "I need an Uber like app with built in payment and social integration. We have a $50 budget and it shouldn't take more than a day or two to build." Or "I need a simple game built. Should work on Apple and Android. No budget but we could work out a share of profits." Really wish I had a real job...

How can people be so fucking stupid?

Imagine I made a program with two buttons, one that says "click here for x" and the other that says "click here for y" and they are asking me where to click for x.. Really mother fucker? Do you really have a PhD? Might me a PhD on retardness!! fuck you, I'm on vacation...

Programming has really taught me the art of anger suppression. You just can't be a coder and ill-tempered at the same time

This got me walking on the right side of life. I feel saved

!rant

I work from home. Sometimes, my husband remotes into his computer during the day. When I see it, I message him jokingly that someone is "hacking his computer". Then this happens:

When you have to wake up by 4am because of an early morning meeting. Its almost 2 am and still wide awake. Fucking brain

Working alone is great. You won't have to deal with others shit coding and others won't have to handle your shit coding.

Code free, code alone!

Interviewer: "Show me a cool side-project you have been working on!"

Me: "No! I do not have a cool side-project to show you! I work to pay the bills, and do other things in my spare time! Like go fishing, or play video games. Why the fuck are you assuming that I spend my weekends coding for fun!? Do you call random people asking them questions every Saturday and Sunday just for the LOLs of it?"

Actual conversation today with one of my remote developer teammates in Ukraine

Me: "next up I'd like to discuss the 'bigger picture' so you have context for the next tasks..."

Dev (after an hour or so and some chat in between...): "Yes, could you please send more details about a large images issue?"

Me (somewhat perplexed): "what are you... oh! Haha"

😂😂😂

I was at the movies today. The subtitles didn't italicize as they expected.

Architect: So, what's your dream bathroom?
Me: I'm a programmer.
Architect: Say no more!

Fvcking project manager wants me to commit my partials code to the master branch just to let our employers know that we did something today! That's why you are there to relay our predicaments to them, you piece of shit!
Now he is insisting it the whole team. Fvck! Are you nuts? Do you really understand what version control really means? Why master branch, why can't we just create fucking different branch and push it there if they want reference! Commits are supposed to be a fix code or update not a broken and unfinished piece of codes! I will fvcking cross my finger after messing up the master branch. Now it looks so disgusting to me.

Just saw a rant about date formats between the US and every other country and saw this a few years ago. Seems appropriate