Details
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AboutWorking at some company writing Go
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SkillsGo
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LocationPhoenix, AZ USA
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Website
Joined devRant on 3/31/2016
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Oracle SQL Errors are an absolute fucking joke, ORA-GO-FUCK-YOUR-SELF.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.2 -
Fuck people who say they want to learn to code and then make 0 effort. You try to help them, find them resources, hold their hand, offer to mentor, come up with projects and they still do nothing. A grown ass man who says he wants to be a developer and get would rather play vampire survivors than open a web browser and learn anything. Why do you waste my time?7
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Ever dealt with people who don’t understand a damn thing they’re coding and just copy and paste stuff around and say that it works? It’s amazing how long people can skate by with only knowing 50% of how what they’re working on works.
We had some dumb know it all on our team who would regularly ship half-done stuff to production and then scramble to fix it after the users bitched about how it didn’t meet the requirements.
This stupid person changed an else to an if having no idea what any of the logic did in this section of code, didn’t adequately test it, and it somehow made it through code review because the better devs were out of office.
This bullshit goes to production, fucks up 200,000 records, and users start complaining about it. Shitty developer refuses to revert the offending code until multiple people on the team overrule them. They spend the next week unfucking the data and decides to just take a day off on Wednesday because it’s been “too much mental energy to fix.” The shit wasn’t even fully resolved yet.
Some people seriously do not belong in this industry. This person’s thought process was:
“Changing an else to an if can’t possibly have significant consequences. Let’s just change this so my code change executes to see what happens.”
Still not sure how they weren’t fired when this happened. They unfortunately got to quit on their own two months later.3 -
Worst: Getting fired for talking too much shit about how the higher ups don’t know how to run a company.
Best: Getting hired at a way less stressful job that pays 50% more and realizing the last place was toxic as fuck.9 -
We were still using python 2.7 waaay into 2020 - It had been heralding the impending doom since 2018 and finally end-of-lifed in 2020.
That's when I finally managed to be the loudest asshole in the room and allocate a team (myself included) to refactor shit up to 3.6 (then somewhat more modern) for a month or so.
COVID the destroyer may have helped by wrecking havoc on our client's demands pipelines.
It was the third week into "the red sprint" when my entire team (myself included) were beheaded out of the company since we had "not delivered ANYTHING in weeks!" (emphasis in the original).
Frankly, being laid off was by a large margin the best thing that company ever did for me.
I heard from a poor schmuck who stayed behind that they were still using the shitty spaghetti code from before our refactoring - in freaking November 2021 - and that our entire last effort was thrown out because "nobody knows how to use it".
There is tech debt and there is tech bankruptcy.
I may have a lot of tech schadenfreude now :)13 -
It hasn't even been two weeks since quitting the clowns and I've:
- recorded and edited a new React TypeScript course
- released a new SaaS product (in alpha)
- cleaned up and optimized the home page of an existing SaaS app
- started a mobile app version of said SaaS app
- started working with an agency to drive more traffic to same said SaaS app including guest posts and content creation.
I guess I always had it in me but needed to be broken by the rate race system one final time before venturing out on my own.
Refreshing.9 -
Hey GitHub Idiot No Need To Write Capitalized Issue Requests Like This It Makes You Look Incompetent We Are Not Working In .NET Here On GitHub
just absolute 🤡11 -
So today our CFO stepped into IT and angrily proclaimed someone using tech@ e-mail and fake name is defrauding company funds buying themselves... "used female lingerie with extra virgin juice" (sic!).
I work for an IPSP, we handle finance for commercial services (think PayPal but smaller). One of our clients is a big platform where girls can sell items like bath water, used socks and more. CFO demanded our admins found out who and when connected to that website, what URLs and so on.
As mentioned, said platform is pretty big, hence, from time to time we help them with their service when they ask us to, that's why we have a tech@ account. Last month there was a minor issue with one of the banks, someone fixed it and, as per usual, made a small payment of €1 topping up the account wallet to make sure everything works. It was an intern whose will to live is still strong and unencumbered with experience so she jokingly wrote "panties juice, extra virgin" in the payment note. What she *didn't know*, however, is that admins on that platform used the very same account to test new billing system they've implemented and our CFO received an invoice.9 -
Every time I rant here I'm waiting to see if my employer will find them. Yet here I am another day having not been had.
I'll take the small wins8 -
Fucking Jira!
You fucking piece of fucking shit. You're about as useful as a nacho cheese enema.
Fuck Atlassian, fuck Jira, fuck fuck fuck fuck!13 -
I was looking for a job after graduating. Came across a company who had a open internship role in a position that I’d never heard of. Email the recruiter and have a good talk but she can’t tell me what the direct responsibilities are. Can’t even answer “what software will I work with on a daily basis?” Even though I was a student, I knew something was wrong.
Ended up moving to the next round and got an interview with my potential managers. They still cannot tell me the responsibilities and nervously laugh when I asked. They do tell me that I will be actively programming which is all I really wanted.
Start the internship and find out that the first 3 months I am only supposed to observe video conferences. I can’t ask questions, I can’t even have my video on. Through these conferences, I found out that there’s no programming involved at all. All low-code drag and drop shit. After that I started applying to other jobs during those meetings
Fuck those managers for lying to me and wasting 3 months of my life2 -
Remember that 'solo standup' I was 'shaking in my boots about'?
Should have started at 9:30
Yeah, well its O9:40... the managers aren't even here yet...
So much respect in this team!
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
Week 278: Most rage-inducing work experience — I’ve got a list saved! At least from the current circle of hell. I might post a few more under this tag later…
TicketA: Do this in locations a-e.
TicketB: Do this in locations e-h.
TicketC: Do this in locations i-k.
Root: There’s actually a-x, but okay. They’re all done.
Product: You didn’t address location e in ticket B! We can’t trust you to do your tickets right. Did you even test this?
Root: Did you check TicketA? It’s in TicketA.
Product guy: It was called out in TicketB! How did you miss it?!
Product guy: (Refuses to respond or speak to me, quite literally ever again.)
Product guy to everyone in private: Don’t trust Root. Don’t give her any tickets.
Product manager to boss: Root doesn’t complete her tickets! We can’t trust her. Don’t give her our tickets.
Product manager to TC: We can’t trust Root. Don’t give her our tickets.
TC: Nobody can trust you! Not even the execs! You need to rebuild your reputation.
Root: Asks coworker a simple question.
Root: Asks again.
Root: nudges them.
Root: Asks again.
Coworker: I’ll respond before tomorrow. (And doesn’t.)
Root: Asks again.
Root: Fine. I’ll figure it out in my own.
TC: Stop making it sound like you don’t have any support from the team!
Root: Asks four people about <feature> they all built.
Everyone: idk
Root: Okay, I’ll figure it out on my own.
TC: Stop making it sound like you don’t have any support from the team!
Root: Mentions multiple meetings to discuss ticket with <Person>.
TC: You called <Person> stupid and useless in front of the whole team! Go apologize!
Root: Tells TC something. Asks a simple question.
Root: Tells TC the same thing. Asks again.
TC: (No response for days.)
TC: Tells me the exact same thing publicly like it’s a revelation and I’m stupid for not knowing.
TC: You don’t communicate well!
Root: Asks who the end user of my ticket is.
Root: Asks Boss.
Root: Asks TC.
Root: Fine, I’ll build it for both.
Root: Asks again in PR.
TC: Derides; doesn’t answer.
Root: Asks again, clearly, with explanation.
TC: Copypastes the derision, still doesn’t answer.
Root: Asks boss.
Boss: Doesn’t answer.
Boss: You need to work on your communication skills.
Root: Mentions asking question about blocker to <Person> and not hearing back. Mentions following up later.
<Person>: Gets offended. Refuses to respond for weeks thereafter.
Root: Hey boss, there’s a ticket for a minor prod issue. Is that higher priority than my current ticket?
Root: Hey, should I switch tickets?
Root: Hey?
Root: … Okay, I’ll just keep on my current one.
Boss: You need to work on your priorities.
Everyone: (Endless circlejerking and drama and tattling)6 -
I love when employers reach out to you like desperate fuck boys on a dating app.
Tell me more about your “amazing” benefits package that’s indistinguishable from any other, your PTO that is as “unlimited” as my phone plan, and the empty mustard packets you acquired in series Z funding.
I’ve got all day to watch your dance play out its milky chance. -
#3 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?
A 20-something dev, 'A', back in the early days of twitter+facebook would post all his extracurricular activities (drinking, partying, normal young-buck stuff). The dev mgr, 'J', at the time took offense because he felt 'A' was making the company look bad, so 'A' had a target on his back. Nothing 'A' did was good enough and, for example, 'J' had the source control czars review 'A's code to 'review' (aka = find anything wrong). Not sorting the 'using' statements, and extra line after the closing }, petty things like that. For those curious, orders followed+carried out by+led by 'T' in my previous rant.
As time went on and 'T' finding more and more 'wrong' with A's code, 'J' put A on disciplinary probation. 'A' had 90 days to turn himself around, or else.
A bright spot was 'A' was working on a Delphi -> C# conversion, so a lot of the code would be green-field development and by simply following the "standards", 'A' would be fine...so he thought.
About 2 weeks into the probation, 'A' was called into the J's office and berated because the conversion project was behind schedule, and if he didn't get the project back on track, 'A' wouldn't make it 30 days. I sat behind 'A' and he unloaded on me.
<'A' slams his phone on his desk>
Me: "Whoa...whats up?"
A: "Dude, I fucking hate this place, did you hear what they did?"
<I said no, then I think we spent an hour talking about it>
Me: "That all sucks. Don't worry about the code. Nobody cares what T thinks. Its not even your fault the project is behind, the DBAs are tasked with upgrades and it's not like anyone is waiting on you. It'll get done when it's done. Sounds like a witch hunt, what did you do? Be honest."
A: "Well, um...I kinda called out J, T, and those other assholes on facebook. I was drunk, pissed, and ...well...here we are."
Me: "Geez, what a bunch of whiney snowflakes. Keep your head down and you'll get thru it, or don't. Its not like you couldn't find another job tomorrow."
A: "This is my first job out of college and I don't want to disappoint my dad by quitting. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing. All J told me was to get better. What the fuk does that even mean?"
Me: "He didn't give you any goals? Crap, for someone who is a stickler for the rules, that's low, even for J."
Fast forward 2 weeks, I was attending MS TechEd and I was with another dev mgr, R.
R: "Did you hear? We had to let 'A' go today."
Me: "What the hell? Why?"
R: "He couldn't cut it, so we had to let him go."
Me: "Cut what? What did he do, specifically?"
R: "I don't know, 'A' was on probation, I guess he didn't meet the goals."
Me: "You guess? We fire a developer working on a major upgrade and you guess? What were these so-called goals?"
R: "Whoa...you're getting a little fire up. I don't know, maybe not adhering to coding standards, not meeting deadlines?"
Me: "OMG...we fire people for not forming code? Are you serious!?"
R: "Oh...yea...that does sound odd when you put it that way. I wish I'd talk to you before we left on this trip"
Me: "What?! You knew they were firing him *before* we left? How long did you know this was happening?"
R: "Honestly, for a while. 'A' really wasn't a team player."
Me: "That's dirty, the whole thing is dirty. We've done some shitty things to people, but this is low, even for J. The probation process is meant to improve, not be used as a witch hunt. I don't like that you stood around and let it happen. You know better."
R: "Yea, you're right, but doesn't change anything. J wanted to do it while most of us were at the conference in case 'A' caused a scene."
Me: "THAT MAKES IT WORSE! 'A' was blindsided and you knew it. He had no one there that could defend him or anything."
R: "Crap, crap, crap...oh crap...jeez...J had this planned all along...crap....there is nothing I can do no...its too late."
Me: "Yes there is. If 'A' comes to you for a letter of recommendation, you write one. If someone calls for reference, you give him a good one."
R: "Yea..yea...crap...I feel like shit...I need to go back to the room and lie down."
As the sun sets, it rises again. Within a couple of weeks, 'A' had another job at a local university. Within a year, he was the department manager, and now he is a vice president (last time I checked) of a college in Kansas City, MO.10 -
Multi-factor authentication does not mean I have a password to your site AND have to login with Google. Also, I logged in with Google, you should have my email address now.
Oh, a user with that address already exists? No shit, it's me.
Your fucking login flow is broken.5 -
Me: *tells manager that we have too many meetings*
Manager: *schedule a meeting to explain why we need many meetings*5 -
HR: Everyone must fill out these 100% anonymous surveys about how you feel about our company, it’s leadership, and how likely you are to leave in the next 6 months etc. Please be 100% honest, since again it is 100% anonymous. Reminder! You must use the individual links we sent to you, do NOT use someone else’s link. Oh did we say it’s 100% anonymous?
The Link:
www. surveygen .com/ companysurvey123 ?employeeName=boombodies &employeeId=6969
Dev: …19 -
Manager: This dropdown is hard to use on mobile
Dev: I thought building this for mobile wasn’t in the scope?
Manager: I changed my mind. It’s a lot easier for me to test on mobile so just rework it so it works on mobile. But only for testing.
Dev: How about I make the dropdown a rotary dial instead?
Manager: Good idea!
Dev: …9 -
Manager: That last dev you hired is working out well. Where did you get him from?
Dev: *Looking at new hire’s resume which only contains a single bootcamp and nothing else*
Dev: He’s a rescue.11 -
In the distant year of 2022.
Safari changes its logo to more appropriately reflect its position as the new Internet Explorer.
Chrome monopolized the spyware market and is facing another antitrust investigation.
Mozilla finally managed to fire all the developers working on Firefox and replaced them with highly trained dead monkeys.
Brave successfully consolidates itself as a cryptocurrency wallet and leaves the browser space.
Edge has two new users.
Who the **** is Vivaldi8 -
HR: Here at company A we have a great culture. It truly is the best place ever to work!
Dev: How many companies have you worked for?
HR: Besides babysitting as a teenager this is the only company I’ve ever worked for.
Dev: I thought so.3